Ali Entertains Herself

yeah yeah... AliWrites was a cheeseball name....

Something that amazes me is how it never really gets dark in the city. There's a few moments of adjustment in which you can look outside the window and your eyes take in a certain blackness, but if you look hard enough, a purple-ish haze appears, lighting the sky and giving off the impression that the city has no rest, and a false sense of security covers me, and I can keep my eyes closed and see a true blackness and fall asleep and dream.

to be continued when I write uh... more

Yes, please do write more! I can totally relate to what you've written so far. ~Eire

• well if you insist. *grins sheepishly*

I'm sitting on my bed with a song streaming out of my CD player about a boy who loves a girl he can't have, glancing at myself in the mirror, and trying to ignore the random words that run through my head, like "beaker" and "thorp". (upon re-reading that, I don't think "thorp" is actually a word, but if it's not, cool, I invented a word) I'm starting to wonder if the sky is really falling or if I'm just trying to make something happen because I'm bored.

+

I'm beginning to grow weary of happy endings. I was at a small get-together at JessicaSkaters' and she made us all plop down and watch "Say Anything", a cutely sweet movie. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl has strange father with money problems, ect ect. The annoying thing about happy endings is that if we're left with/out/ one, we feel sad and lost and sometimes helpless but if we're left with one, we feel like it was preditable, and it was supposed to happen that way. So in real life, we mihgt be expecting everything to work out, and everything to be okay, and if it's not, we get hurt, and then we get bitter, and then Ali stops rambling about something to depressing as this.

This is why the catch phrase "live in the moment" caught on.

Or maybe I'm just being tartly cynical.

written after listening to Back Back Back by Ani for an hour and a half on auto repeat

 I never did cry
 Though I was out of my mind
 With worry that you'd never find me
 I never keep promises that I make
 Always take
 You stayed right behind me

 I never sleep
 A clean sweep
 So no one's ever tried to wake me
 I never complain
 Always stayed the same
 I think I'll light a fire now right beneith me

 I never wait too long
 You're never wrong
 But sometimes I wonder if you're gonna outgrow me
 We never fight
 I'm never right
 But sometimes even I can't try and excuse me

 I never did cry
 And we didn't really try
 So you never saw the chance you were taking
 And here we lie
 The other by our sides
 And wonder when we were mistaken

 There's a little boy here
 Where you used to sleep
 And he looks a little too much like you
 And he never gives back what he takes
 I'm still awake
 And asking who were you
 

01/28/02

 i was {crying}

 i was singing my voice out to you
 with words i borrowed from poets i never was 

 you're crouching in the corner
 and staring at the ceiling
 and watching the clouds argue
 between the cracks in the sky
 and smiling shyly through the wall of
 your
 fingertips

 i am {laughing} at
 the injustice
 of wanting you
 and wanting to hear your voice
 speak in rhyme
 shouting love words you truly mean

 i am waiting to get out of here
 and get you out of my blood
 and out from under my skin
 and i am holding my own hand
 and watching the clouds argue
 between cracks in the sky

• Ali..that is..beautiful. I really can connect with it. You are a wonderful writer, so write more! -mike