Brano Meters

The writing bug has bitten, and I have the urge to write this... a post for those who have recently or are now playing a big part in my life and concious being.

An honest and heart-felt Thank You to:

Nick Vallee. You brought (and are still having the effect of) great intensity and passion within me. I have found out a lot about myself from all that you have been and are to me. Don't be fazed by the sadness I have showed, because that's not the whole of it. It is a big part, but it is only the ott that led to the one, that led to much more. You are so beautiful (hey, boys can be beautiful too! ;p), and I do appreciate you.

Alyson Whitworth. My dear sister. You are such a fiery passionate person as of late. Truly fascinating. So many strong emotions are running around within you, and it's real amazing. As much as you wouldn't think, I appreciate you. Very much. It's exciting watching you, or even thinking about you, because I know there is something extremely important happening. Trust yourself, you'll know what to do, it'll feel right.

Courtney Whitworth. Oh, Courtney! Yes, you're a marvelous joy to have back in my life (after all that traveling). We never skip a beat though, when we're apart. There's always something interesting we share. It's so fun to process with you all the things that we are about. You really do understand me like no one else. I admire you.

Naomi Ruth. Dude, what can I say! You're just awesome. You're here, there, and everywhere. Those boys all love you. But how can I be jealous? Nah, not possible. Not me. Not of you. Because I know you and love you like crazy. And no one has you the way I do! Heh. We're too close for bullshit. And we're too equal for stupid jealousy. Yeah.

Carl Christophe Ferre~Lang. What an awesome boy. He doesn't check wiki, but I would just like to say that... He's my inspiration, clarification, a key to my mind. He's my counterpart, my other half, my hansel, my brother-boy. So hurray for Carl eh!

Jake Matilsky. My fun-loving, inspiring boy. Jake, you rock my socks. You call me and say happy birthday. I think of you, and I smile. Thanks for the smiles :)

I love you all so very much. Okay then... Talk amongst yourselves.

I see you busy with your things. With your emotional barriers, pulling them down, beating them down. The sweat on your brow, the tears on your cheeks. Maybe you know, but maybe you don't, how good you are doing. I watch you, involved and intranced, in that which you are about. I am impressed, I am intruiged. Yet I would like some of your time, maybe a fraction, maybe just a bit... we could have fun and play and skip and reflect on how far we have come and how wonderful it is where we are going. Can you see me standing here? I am not sure you can right now. That's alright. You are still a jewel in my life, a beautiful glowing gem. We cannot track far apart without being led back to eachother. I am proud of you. My best friend. My sweet "sister". Here's a smile and a wink from me. I can see the marvelous triumphs that await you.

 /Here is a journal entry I composed/
 date 10-22-2000 ~~*~~ login time 2:24 AM
 

/More/

 My life is more. For more. Creating, expanding, 
 experiencing. Each moment unique, individual, forming 
 a current of creation, life, more. There is so much.
 So much excisting, birthing and re-birthing...
 Ideas, thoughts, whims, dreams, all taking flight,
 and landing with other birds of a feather.
 Everything complete and perfect, and yet 
 the possibility of naught.  Thriving, breathing, learning,
 loving. Such is me. I feel whole. I feel valuable. 
 I feel in love. So many beautiful thoughts to think,
 whims to wonder, ideas to fructify. 
 I feel and I know and I...am. I am.
 Such love that I feel renders me explanationless.
 How could words describe the way i feel?
 Such deep, powerful, true love...
 One may ask, 'what is true love?'--the answer to that...
 The answer to that will only come when you ask yourself.
 Be sure and listen. With no strain, only allowance, 
 will you find your answer.  I know my answer.
 It came to me with gusto, a lovely crescendo.
 I am complete. I am forever. I am myself. I am all that I am.
 Here. Now. For the purpose of -/more/-.  
 (cerin)

10-25-2000 ~~*~~ 6:34PM

I saw the illusion today. The temporary reality surrouning me. They think I'm crazy. Maybe I am. But what is crazy? This is an old question for me. A question that doesn't mean much anymore. There is no sane and insane. There is difference. Reality isn't as stiff and unchanging as it seems. Anything, everything, can change faster than a blink of the eye, beat of the heart. It is all relative. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe you're right? I am not wrong. But you are right. We are both right. It may seem impossible, that we are opposed... we are not. Both excist. Everything excists. Isn't that obvious? Wouldn't it be obvious. So many opinions, beliefs and ideas there are. Can I have all of them, may I have all of them? Yes, I can and I do. Do you? I think you do, I think you don't. Does it matter what I think, since I believe it all? You may be confused by this babble. It is not my place to say so. I do not believe you are, but I do have a pretty good idea.

"The laws of likeness place the human physically manifested reality in a compatible level of conciousness" -from 'Emmanuel's Book'