Cherry Mistmas

I came across this on the Bassic yahoogroup. Nevermind that, read on, it's hilarious...

(~JoeyRatio)

 >HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!!
 > >
 > >Subject: FW: New Christmas Recipe...
 > >
 > > >Christmas Cake Receipe you are gonna love.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Ingredients:
 > > >1 cup of water
 > > >1 tsp baking soda
 > > >1 cup of sugar
 > > >1 tsp salt
 > > >1 cup of brown sugar lemon juice
 > > >4 large eggs nuts
 > > >1 bottle Vodka
 > > >2 cups of dried fruit
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Sample the vodka to check quality.  Take a large bowl,check
 > > >the vodka again.  To be sure it is of the highest quality,
 > > >pour one level cup and drink.
 > > >Repeat.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Turn on the electric mixer.  Beat one cup of butter in a large
 > > >fluffy bowl.
 > > >
 > > >Add one teaspoon of sugar.  Beat again.  At this point it's
 > > >best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Try another cup ....  just in case Turn off the mixerer.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
 > > >dried fruit.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Pick fruit off floor.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Mix on the turner.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose
 > > >with a drewscriver.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Next, sift two cups of salt.  Or something.  Who giveshz a
 > > >shit.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Check the vodka.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Add one table.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.  Whatever you can find.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Greash the oven.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Don't forget to beat off the turner.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka
 > > >and kick the cat.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >Fall into bed.
 > > >
 > > >
 > > >CHERRY MISTMAS!
 > > >