Cloe Writes Electric

December 28, 2000 I'm so in love with you, I'll be forever blue. I don't even know what or who I'm talking about anymore. A boy, a country far away dammit, they both made love to my senses this year, seduced me with sultry glances I bared my soul. They both left me. I spent four weeks of unfaltering bliss with both the boy and the country. Four weeks of lingering glaces, burning touches and the painful reality of love. The painful reality of love. That's where I am now. It's this cycle of getting what I want for only a short time. It's unfair. My eyes sting with these tears that I just can't seem to shed. I wish they would want me back. Why doesn't he want me back - this boy who never really had me, and yet he's had me from the beginning. Fuck him, for his untouchable face, and fuck him for existing in the first place. Fuck him, I love him(you) and he's(you're) killing me like the country down under that killed me.

December 30, 2000 Sparkling like carbonated dew, your words slid down my throat. I swallowed them whole without looking back. "To live in fear is a life half lived," so what reason did I have to be cautious? I should have been cautious. I must admit, you are my least favourite cock sucking cowboy.

January 3, 2001

 hey, I didn't cry over you today
 I didn't even feel like crying over you today
 I guess you just weren't worth the salt.

 hey, I thought about you today
 I wondered why you'd done the things you had
 I wondered why I'm so bitter

 I thought about you under sunny skies
 laughing sweet and lemony,
 and my voice rang clear like icey glass
 when I talked about how much
 I've grown to resent you and me and the
 "us" that never was.
 My voice rang when I said I hated you,
 but my heart lacked the conviction that
 my sharp tongue spit out.
 I remember your hands.

 hey, I heard a song about you today
 you wouldn't have liked it because we dont
 share the same tastes
 yeah, you are that punk ass bitch.

 I remember your hands,
 and now I hate them.

1/10/01 Turning this into a ramble/life update site, because I want one and because I can.