Controverial Subjects

I couldn't decide where to put this and I needed somewhere so I created a new page. Tell up your beliefs on common subjects of controversy.

Some woman once said “I am a woman, hear me roar”

Well I am a teenager. Listen to me rant.

I just got in a huge dinner table debate/argument with my mom dad 13 year old brother and Grandmother (who always thinks she’s right and always knows everything.....) About choices and rights ect...

It all started with dress codes in schools. And stupid me had to open her mouth and say that she thought measuring girls skirts at dances and sending them home if they were wearing clothes that were “inappropriate” was going a little far. And even though I hated the stupid argument I still believe that what you wear should be a personal choice. If you want to go to school in a tank top and mini skirt I believe that you should be able to do just that. I can see talking to kids and explaining why you might not want them wearing certain clothes but I do not understand or support all out banning them. It’s all about power isn’t it? The schools have the power to do this and so they will.

My grandmother was talking about some public school in Rockford IL where she lives where they have uniforms and have been proven to get higher test scores. And that I really don’t believe in. I feel like schools already do enough to make kids the same and lump them together in one collective person that to make them wear the same clothes is a bad idea. To not be able to express your personal preferences and personalities is stifling the spirit. Maybe that’s what people are aiming for, who knows.

But it made me feel so helpless to argue because I felt very very strongly about the subject and didn’t feel like anyone understood my perspective. Sometimes I feel like adults don’t even try to listen. In general I feel like my parents listen to my opinions and try to understand and accept those opinions even if they don’t feel the same. And actually I feel like the accept my opinion on this too but I don’t feel like they totally understand and that makes me so furious. It’s like I want to make them understand and I know I can’t.

Respect is important to me. Probably one of the most important of my values. I believe that people should respect me because I respect them. I believe that age, sex, and other things should have nothing to do with the amount of respect you get (probably with a few exceptions.). I think you should get respect whether you are pregnant, suicidal, have problems with drugs or alcohol, are a highshool “drop out”, have an eating disorder, self injure, or have any other so called “faults”. You could come to me after trying to kill yourself, abusing drugs and being anorexic and I would still respect you and love you just as much. But it makes me mad that a lot of people don’t think like this. When you feel strongly enough about something it makes you feel upset if people think the opposite that you do.

I might regret this later because I’m extremely worked up right now. but only because I’ve probably been a little harsh and judged some groups of people/individuals that I didn’t mean to be critical of. But I will not regret it in the essence of the subject. I still believe very firmly that people should be able to live their lives according to their own beliefs and that others should accept that. If you’ve made it all the way through this Bravo! I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Love you unconditionally

 Franny

• that was amazing and beautiful. i wish you were around when i needed that unconditional respect.
• Thank you. Might I know who this is? franny at nbtsc.org if you want to talk or need a hug or support. even if i don't know you.

My problem with schools that enforce uniforms is only that the kids have no choice of whether to go the school or not. There are many other institutions that have dress codes offices, hospitals, the army, among others but the difference between them and schools is that a person makes the choice to go into the army, for example, and they accept the conditions of that choice. Many young people go into public schools by the choice of their parents or the state, and on top of being herded around like cows in a field, they suffer the indignity of not even being able to look different than other "cows". That, I believe, is why teenagers can go to extremes in the clothes they wear, and uniforms and dress codes are not going to make the feelings of repression go away... they will only hide the symptom of the real problem, for a while. Clothes (like piercings, tattoos, and scars) are a powerful means of expressing oneself when words are not an option. Perhaps, the institutions know that, and fear it.

That is all, for now...

I'm thinking about what Eireann said about school kids not having a choice to go to school, and therefore they should have the choice of what to wear there. But then the thought comes to me.... the fact that kids don't choose to go to school (or at least most don't)... wouldn't that mean that the school should have extra responsibility to do what's best for them.... and if school uniforms are healthier (that is, if they do lead to higher test scores and more positive social interaction) then shouldn't that mean that school uniforms should be enforced? Because afterall, children don't have a choice but to come to school, and therefore why should they be forced to live with the unhealthy concequences of having everyone dressed differently?

Of course... I don't know yet if school uniforms are healthier... I have heard very positive stories from the few people I know who go to schools where there are uniforms... and the idea actually appeals to me too.

"Freedom" is forced upon people. Teens have enough to deal with. Why make them deal with having to decide how to dress at school, someplace where looks seem to be such a concern? Why not encourage students to be expressive of who they are in other ways?

.... just other thoughts to think about....

- Christy

Totally bullshit! all uniforms do is make you feel totally controlled.. i mean people should have a choice of what clothes to wear . bwah. the end.

My second set of thoughts on this topic....

What is freedom?

The talk so far on school uniforms made me question what freedom is. There's a French philosopher who talked of the idea that our greatest fear is freedom. We have the freedom to make choices, and in doing so we could mistakes.

Freedom is not something that I have always enjoyed. Even now, I fear making mistakes. At the time when I was in school school uniforms would have been a comfort to me, because it would have meant one less thing to set me apart from other people, and one less thing that I could fear doing wrong. At that time, freedom would have been less important to me than the comfort of knowing that I wasn't making a mistake on how I got dressed that morning. (I was teased horribly in school for everything.) Now of course, I care less about what other's think, so if I dress sillily, its not a disasterious mistake like it was in elementary school. I can accept the freedom and responsibility of choosing my clothes.

I don't understand how freedom can be limited by school uniforms, because I don't attach my freedom to my clothing. No... I did once attach some freedom to clothing. My green cape was a sign of freedom the first few months I wore it. How did it do that to me? It broke me free of that fear of what other people think of my clothing... it was a statement of my freedom from the control that other people had over me. But that control was... it was psychological control. They controlled me because I was worried about what they think. That sort of control I find damaging.

But physical control... in such a form as school uniforms? How does that make one feel so controlled? One can still hate the school uniforms, even as one wears them? They don't control your thoughts, or do they...?

But how do school uniforms infringe upon freedom? They infringe upon that exterior freedom... they don't control your thoughts, your minds, or do they? I see them as being in the same class as the laws that say you can't go naked in public places... perhaps unnecessary, perhaps not... ya, they restrict one a bit, but... but they don't control who you are. Everyone can express themselves in other ways.

Perhaps expressive clothing is needed by those who haven't come up with the courage to be free inside. My freedom now comes elsewhere....

Freedom comes.... ... from my thoughts, even when I am not able to share them with others. ... from my ability to smile at strangers, rejoicing when they smile back but not concerned if they don't. ... the ability to choose to do something, and suffer the concequences of those actions.

Probably... different people have different feelings as to what freedom is, or which freedoms they feel would really be horrible to lose.

- Christy

• I can see where you're coming from and i can concieve of a time and place where uniforms could be appropriate and even helpful. But I still feel like it's an invasion of personal space. Controlling what someone looks like is not only controling their clothes but it is controling other peoples first impressions of you. I mean face it. Even though we don't want to make assumtions because of people's clothes, a lot of us do. Freedom can be scary for the reason you pointed out. there are consequences. But I would rather be free to make my own choices and learn from my own consequences than be forced into choices and live by someone elses consequences. On your above post.

"Freedom" is forced upon people. Teens have enough to deal with. Why make them deal with having to decide how to dress at school, someplace where looks seem to be such a concern? Why not encourage students to be expressive of who they are in other ways?"

Because in some enviroments there are very few ways of expressing yourself. And schools have never been knows for encourging individuality, which, I belive is healthy. To be different is to know who you are and become comfotable with who that is. If someone doesn't like to dress differently than they have the option to dress like the majority, or like their friends. But to not have the choice to freedom is, to me, being dissrespectful. Everyone should get to choose the amount of freedom and individuality they want. For some that may be a lot and for others hardly any. But you have options and you aren't put in boxes that you don't fit in. Franny

This is interesting. My mom was telling me the other day about a group nearby that was going to be up in the mountains for the weekend, participating in an exercise where many people meet other people blindfolded for the whole time, and getting to know each other without the aid of sight. It made me think about how we don't always value enough our other senses, our other ways of perceiving each other and the world.... Instinct, sound, ideas, touch, smell, taste..

So maybe it's not so much about freedom of expression, but freedom of perception. We should all be given a chance to percieve and be percieved in every way imaginable.. You miss a lot when you stick to one medium, I think. Mari

Come on people! more subjects of controversy! They make for such interesting discussions!