Dawn's address can be found at the bottom of RisingDawn ) Okay, Dawn and what she is wasting her inheritance on....
Rants thoughts and when i get around to it, updates on my living in Britian for 6 months. There isnt much here because right now i havent been here a week. but this is what it is so far. Need a place to crash in Israel? See below [42] Aug 11th. The sun is kinda shinning in Seattle. Robyn goes home today (Sigh) and life gets back to something vaugly like normal. Or not. I need to make plans today and i dont want to. I want to curl up in bed and sleep for a long long time. Dawn *Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!*Heh heh heh! Im in Seattle Washington!!!!!!! I came back on the 6th to surprise Mitchell for his Birthday having spent a week at Eireann house in New Haven and a week with Ryland in WI!!!! Im so happy to be back in America!!! Anyone in Seattle wanna cross paths? Ill be around for a week and a bit, then i go get Heather from the Vancouver area and bring her down to session 2 camp.... Im Baaaaaaaaaaack!!! Lots and lots and lots of love Dawn July 12 In the last 9 weeks i have used up 6 pens finished 3 notebooks destroyed 1 pr sandals and 1 pr hiking books been shouted at stared at picked up and ignored evacuated in a bomb scare in Jerusalem spent 2 days with no money of my own eaten dried salted fish with the head still on dived nake off cliffs traveled over 20000 km over 114 hours by bus 60 hours by train 74 by ferry 10 by plane I've missed train connections, been nearly run over by a truck, bought tickets walked miles. Ive forgotten my backpack, repacked it a million times, and had it completly taken apart and investiagted by Isralie sequrity riden on a motorcycle in a full skirt, huge backpack and no helmet sustained mostly on bread cherry juice cheap fruit and coka colas. .... wow. love Dawn Dawn bummy?g around the ocean The only producty?e thy?g yŠdy? yesterday was get a my?d sunburn. Ive decy?ed on mutal agreement wy?h my body that yŠam not buy?t for tanny?g! but rather for burny?g and peely?g. So yah y? hangy?g around the medy?erany?n coast of Turkey. I wont be able to post much for the next few weeks sy?ce y? heady?g y?to country?s where y?ternet acesse y?nt as easy to come by. Nothy?g too excy?y?g y? happeny?g. My hostel dorn overlooks a bay on the edge of the ocean. yŠwake up every morny?g to a roster of the boy who y? selly?g seasame buns y? the street below. Godbless whoever y?vented Ay? condy?y?ny?g and fans. Its regualrly about 40 degrees C. Translaty?n for my F fry?nds : bloody hot. Im goy?g swy?my?g y? a few hours. I read Any?al Farm the other day and y? desperate for another good book. love to all Dawn In some small town in western Turkey close to the ocean Ive joined up on a bus tour a round turkey. I have mixed feelings about it. It IS cheaper then i could do it alone but stil I feel like im somehow skipping how on the solo travel bit. I enjoy th company of the other backpackers... dammit i miss everyone. i hope stars are in your eyes and joy in your hearts! love Dawn Istanbul not Constanople... Im lying low and living cheap in Istanbul untill i can pick up cash from mom on monday. I love the wildness of Turkey without the pure grime and creepiness of Morocco. When i get my strength together today ill try to find the post office to get my mail and then maybe go the bazzar and buy afew things. I need to go clothes shopping ewwwwwwww.... Leaving Israel was interesting. In 45 minutes they managed to completly cross examine me about my travels in the last 2 months where i was who i met what friends did i make where did i stay... And then devoted 20 minutes to taking everything i own apart to the 9s. everything. ever-y-thing. From my sandals to my toothpaste were examined and scutanized. I didnt mind it too much except my ATM cards were all demagnatized i suspect leaving me in a somewhat tricky place. ie with no money. love Dawn In Istanbul! So banking overseas sucks. I spent a scary day with no money at all, and dep[ending on other travelers for things like water. Turkeys nice, but you cant drink the water... Im likeing it here now though, i finally got a bank to get me money so alls well. Im just chilling today and enjoying life. Its beautiful sunny and not so bloody hot as Israel. Dawn June 26th Israel Im in the old city of Jurusalem, catching up on e-mail. Im heading for Tel Aviv today, and then either staying on a kubbitz for a while or going onto Turkey!!! Israel is baking hot intense and beautiful. Its people are tough and passionate. I spent my 19th birthday in almost the most conservative religiouse Jewish community in the world, and i had a great time! THe people behind their head coverings and clothes are real and beautiful full of stories, very welcoming and beautiful. I saw Shippy for a week, whoiiiiiieee! Im so proud of her and happy for her. Judasum suits her soul. I hope everything goes smoothly when she gets home. I wonder sometimes what all my very "hippy" friends think of Shippy. heh. Im happy, i think. I need to make a few choices in the next few days that will explain the next week or so of my life. I ha vnt worked on my tan much here wink, im dressing like Shippy all the time. I love the wildness here.. and it is pretty safe. You just have to know where not to go! love to all Dawn ps, I hear Heather and so very cool people are at a party in Colorado!!!! My love to you all kids, im thinking of you! June 15th For future reference, there isnt a lot of good things to say about Athens. heh. Writing me!!!! Well in about a month i will be Istanbul, so you can write to me at this addresse: If you send mail in the next 7-10 days it should get there before i do! It will be held at a central office till i pick it up. If anyone *does mail me, mention it in an e-mail or something since i may be lazy and not check the office if i dont think anything is there!
REMEMBER- keep the envelopes simple my loves, the people filing it probably dont speak english! and in Bukuy, there are dots over each of the tails of the u's! so they look like faces... It would be great to hear from anyone, everyone! Dammit i miss everyon! Im in Athens, sweating around the Acroplois and trying to find cheap food! love love love! Dawn dawn, I'm sending you a letter in istanbul. not constantinople. so check poste restante! do do. love, reanna I've also sent you an aerogram to Istanbul. So be on the lookout lovie! ~~~Rosie same here...hehe. love you babes. -kat June, um, 10th? Im still in Croatia, heading for Italy tomorrow on a ferry to catch a connection to Greece. Im happy, i think. A lot of things have happened in Croatia, something about the air breeds growth. Im going to write a lot for the next few days. Im hot and sticky, its the first day in a while when i havent been swimming yet. I saw a pod of wild dolphins swimming 2 days ago.. Dawn June 4th Bloodz public library computer in Croatia wont let me load mz mail page so thats whz im posting on here. Would someone please tell mz mother that im alive adn well and not dead somewhere in Italy?! grin... So the long and the short of it, i got through Italy in like 6 days because it was SO $$$ expensive. I have to get off this soon. I love Croaita its beautiful and very calm. Ive fallen in with two Assies and were traveling down to Split today im in Zabaz right now. Beaches are beautiful the girls are amazing and foods cheap enough. So yah, its cool. Zagreb was verz verz low key, i loved it. I was on night trains for like 2 days so i was pretty dead by the time i got to Zagreb. I have my heart set on going to Vietnam, who wants to come?? totally seriouse... Im heading south down the coast for Dobronik, st aying there a few days, working on a tan and letting mz toothbrush stay in one place for a few days yah know? I miss you all like hell. really bad. Theory better still be on!!!! love Dawn ok! i got news from dawn i do beleve my dalling sister dawn is in afraca! (the tip of afraca i do beleve) thats what i think thats what her plans are at least but knowing dawn they might change
lucky gooslet eh? afraca!? cool.. well thats what i have heard May 22nd (i think) 2001 Granada spain heh, cool. Hi kids! Lets see if i can even begine to discribe the last 2 weeks. Im in a cyber cafe off a plaza in central Spain, cureing a headache and general "whythehelldoitravel" feelings. I HAVE traveled over 15 hours by bus, 6 hours by ferry, 1:30 by train. Been through 5 towns, 3 cities, been acroose spain, crossed the straits of Gibraltar into Morocco and back up through spain. Befrieneded 3 Asutralians,1 french guy, 2 Canadians,m 4 Americans, 1 Bolivian, and 16 Spanish university students. Ive spelt in buses, castles, hostels, and my own private hotel rooms. Ive eaten fruit whose name i dont know, bottled water, chocolate, and pasta on hiking stoves. Ive seen 3 Cathedrals, 3 mosques,2 art galleries, been woken up by traffic jams, early morning market places, alarm clocks, seagulls, and a drunk Spainard in my room at 7 am. Ive seen some of the best art by Picassoc, Botch, Botticelle, Tintoretto, Raphael, El Greco, and Goya. Ive recieved directions from little old ladies, police men, men dr inking coffe, and drug dealers. I was nearly hit by a truck in Cordoba, cat called in Morocco, and live high and mighty and free. A bomb went off while i was in Madrid, a Basks bomb, the only thing i noticed was exstra police everywhere. Ive seen meat sold by the lmb with the hoof still on, chickens with the head still on, a table of goat heads for sale, dodged donkeys, seen Palaces, street preformers, hot air ballons, and armed police men with machine guns. Ive been given food, ideas, encourgment, book chapters and wat er, bargined over ticket prices, rugs, food, jewlery. In Morocco i recieved 7 marridge offers in 45 minutes including a Berber massage (ohhh kinky!) 1000 camels, and camel rides in the desert. Ive lied about my age, and said i was marride. Ive been cheated, harassed, followed, cat called and recieved more male attention in 4 days then i have in my whole life. I havent traveled alone much per say, i keep hooking up with people for a few days, then moving on, and meeting someone else. I miss you all. im counting down the days till i get home. :) yippie! I catch a 10 pm train to Barcelona tonight. love -Dawn [83] April 27th friday Hi kids! My day out in Taunton... Im on a buzz from a healing circle i went to for 2 hours. I got two hugs, i cant beleive it! heh... It was wonderful and made me realize a lot about myself. Moving out of home as made me act really *tough* like strong, like i-can-hack-this-shit sort of way and its good on the outside because i get what i what, but i plays havouc with concepts of self love and acceptence. Reanna totally inspired me with her list of what she had done inthe last 6 months, and made me feelever so humble over what ive managed to do. Still, in no paticular order, some of the adventures ive had in Britian. crashed a jeep half way through a hedge drove many tractors saw London hiked an anchinet Thor for solstice morning had coffee with a Zen Buddhist a guy asked me up to his hotel room (i digressed) prefpred on stage danced had an Elderly scotsman try to pick me up in a local pub eaten grapes off the vine cut freash holly and ivy cleared farm drains refinished a kitchen built a fence built a road became addicted to decorating everything learned a running stich in sewing had my first alcaholic drink finished my first alcaholic drink been offered a smoke dipped up freash milk and cream spent my first christmas away from home been to Warick castle survived sever flooding, the wettest winter since 1677, the coldest march in ten years, and a major foot and mouth outbreak. eaten duck lamb goose and tounge picked wild daffidids been alone wore through the bottom of a pair of rubber boots used 4 containers of hand cream wrote 6 journals learned to play poor opened a british bank account and got checks with my name on it (!) been lost in more cities then i care to count! ) very humble but still there. I wont even try to guess what the next 6 months hold for me...
My plans: I leave here for London, I catch a flight to Madrid. and. and.? and waste 4 months living cheap. I fly to Toronto on Aug 24th, then somehow get my ass to Oregon between sessions of camp, and most definitly by the end of Session 2. (possibly take Heather down in time for session 2) hang out, go to Theory, head home, eventually.. tee hee... Im doing really good... I cant beleive the time has passed so quickly. A lot of people seem to want to know what im going to do with the rest of my life, as if milking cows twice a day for 6 months in another country would some how explain what im supposed to do with the next 70 years of my life. Its frustrating. I think i'll tell everyone that im looking for a job in fast food retail untill a position with the Asian mafia opens up... Its a wierd thought that this might be the last time i'll be in the library here. I miss everyone a huge great amount. I dream at night of trying to find people, being lost in mazes, half kisses and intense burning heat. )thank you soooooo much to everyone who has written me! Ive written back i swear, i just rarly ever get to actually see the inside of a post office....
its still raining. :) muchly love to all
-Dawn
(Im going south till my skin turns brown and i can smell the ocean to forget and remember and find...) Ack, darn, like a 12 minute update on my life! April 5th (already!) As you have all probably heard, Foot and Mouth outbreaks have all the farms under locks... This is the first time i have been in a city in 2 months. I dont mind it too much cuz it gives me time to think and write and prepare before i GO which is terrifing. I LEAVE tentativly around May 5th, i leave the farm, spend a few days in London, then go to spain. I'll have e-mail here and there when i hit cafes and such... If you wanna get something to be for sure, like Birthday packages (hint hint!) send them to where Shippy is staying in Israel, because im with her for my birthday... (june 23rd) There is nothing facinating to tell you about life really, its raining, and because of the outbreakas no one goes out. I finally got my hands on the book 'The Journey is the Destination' and im blown away by it... its so beautiful liquid deep... Damn I miss everyone. Im planning on flying to Toronto the end of Aug and taking the bus to Oregon (3 days on Greyhound, wont that just be lovely) and stick around through session 2, and go to Theory. yippie! Really im doing okay. My mother worries about me too much. I spend 10£ a week on postage at lest which is insane... a days worth of wages! yikes... but i love it. Im getting sentamental about leaving the farm which is wierd, some days i swore i couldnt wait to leave. G-d i really reallly reallllly miss you guys. Britain is great, but i miss hippies punks goths.... I donnokno, maybe its just distance but i feel like a scientest and not really fitting in. This was a worthwhile adventure, made me stronger and wiser, although i suspect i will enjoy talking and remenicing about the experience more then i will the actual experience.
Im slowly starting to pack and plan for leaving here. I did some banking today trying to figure out money. Its very scary, but very huge and the sort of thing ive dreamed about. Britain is a beautiful country, the hills and vallies and gardens are all so green. Its like a huge salad bowl. Dont ever come here for the food however. I've made myself a pledge: After i leave here i will never eat boiled potatoes again. wink my love to all -Dawn March 27, 2001 Just spoke with Dawn this morning
Milking as it turns out has a lot more to do with cow shit then it does with Milk. I enjoy it because it is honest dirty hard work, i like the rythem and the timeing and the chaos. Its like the pump house on the farm where we had to turn the pipes to hange from the hot tub to the pool, plus iodine hot and cold water, and 74 dirty shit covered cows, in 90 minutes of maddness. We milk out twice a day by machine, most of the work is hooking up the machines to the animals and working with the computer that runs the set up. By the time i come home i think i will be addicted to raw whole milk, pickled onions, soap operas,and photographgy... I've been having a field day with my new camera and the beautiful Devon area. The hedges that line all the roads are beautiful enough to take your breath away. I first arrived here with the other trainees in a place called Worick, near Worick Castle, which is where they took us top first day to go sight seeing. It was. well. It is stone and rock and about a thousand years old it feels like. 400 years ago it was a bustling Castle full of life. Now it is refurnished and full of armoure and paintings. I walked around and avoided people and dreamed ofWiIlliam the Conquorer in dark winding staircases and doungeons. Hayne farm could take your breath away, it really would. On the approuch it looks like a castle with thick big walls, but on second look they are the outer buldings. The house itself is long and large, divided in half. It is indeed made of cob with exposed rafters and open fire places. It isnt as cold as i feared it would be, and as i get better at dressing for the weather i dont nearly get the chills. It feels perfectly english, tweed cap, the happy old dog, leading the horse to the meadow, the old sstove and china plates on the wall. Very simple dwelling with almost auster furnishings that grew on me at once. Geoff and Janet, my host parents, are indeed wonderful folk. I have hit it off spleadnedly with Janet who is friendly bubbly good natured and works harder then anyone else i know. She loves to talk and share stories about the are and oru lives. Geoff is kind and soft spoken, about 63 years old with an almost shy smile. I drove into downtoday with him to pick up some supplies, and quite injoyed it. Peter, their son, is a hard working man who is friendly when he forgets to worry about the farm so much. Agriclutre in Britian is in a sad sad very bad place, everything is down after the BSE scare. Insane things like cows work 8 pounds, and milk being worth less then what it costs to malke it. It really is a shame, everyone here is just hanging on. The price of petrol is all over the news. I do not worry much about what side of the road i drive on, because the roads here are really more like narrow windy paaths and only have space on them to really go on one side of the raod: the middle. My room is painted and pleasent, at the far end of the house and upstairs. I have decorated it already with pictures and maps, i have a tape player, and a large bay window that oepns onto the farm yard. I dont spend much time there hwoever, prefering to spend my evenigns sitting in the living room, by the fire and the dog, with Geoff and Janet watching British Soap Operas, eating crisps, and writing in my journal. I keep going to bed rather late however, i need to crash early tonight. I havent met anyone local yet at all other then who lives on the farm. I hope to go to a Young Farmers (like 4-H) meeting next week, and catch a ride with a local boy near by. I would like to meet some people and start dancing again. I feel all over the place, amazing and high and terrified and everything. But i havent doubted yet that this has been anything less then the best possible choice for me. :) -------- Nov 14--- Good news, getting pissed on by cows wont make you melt. trust me from personal experience. yawn. its been a day. im haveing a blast. Teenagers everywhwre, even here in Britian, seem about the same: they piss me off. I want to find a place where my peers dont talk about how much they hate school/work/life and how drunk they got/ their friends got and what stupied (but in their eyes glamourse) things they/their friends did well drunk/high. Please people! we are the produce ofr 4 billion years of human evolution! and you are controlling your life by the basic laws of formenting barley! jez. I'm full of thoughts these days on vegitarian/vegan points of view. I milk dairy cows twice a day and feed the beef cows every morning, so cleary i dont object. Someone want to remidn me why they dont drink milk? Im becomeing addicted to whole unpasturized milk...mmm... ;) Sometimes i wonder if everything shouldnt be labeled for my own personal safty and well being: i broke a lighjt bulb the other day pulling a shirt over my head. the roof is low and i forget how tall i am. Not only did i break the light bulb, but that in burn broke the cover, and threw the whole elterical switch leaving half the house in the dark. sigh. I took dance on monday night. It isnt as 'good' as Edmonton, im personally biased, but it is better then nothing adn still enjoyable. :) there goes 3£ a week to danceing... :)) I feel oddy detached from the NBTSC community right now, which feels very uncomfortable and vaugly painful. i wish i could get irc, i will have to look into it. November 21st lots of thoughts on cow poop. Being a traveler is harder work then i reckoned..Sometimes the temptation to cry "damn you" and go home is overwhelming, Things at home which you take for granted, your own phone number, the name of the grocery store, where a bathroom is, what size coins you need to make up 84 cents. or pence rather. "are you home sick?" the muffled voice of my father said, a million miles away, the other side of earth. We talked about safe topics, travel ,weather, sheep, Grandma. I told him i love him when he said good bye. His voice crackled when he told me he loved me, showing lines of emotion, a Fathers words of comfort to a grown child away from home, out in the world, this love for me... But then again, it could have been static. probably. i guess. English cooking is cleverly divided into 3 catagories: 1- potatoes 2- meat 3- boiling water True to english pragmatisum, the third componate of boiling water, is not only fine to drink steeped in exotic leaves, but it also is convient for cooking catagories one, two, and 75% of anything else one could want to ccook. They say the english discovered so much of the world because they were searching for something good to eat. :) no comment. Ode to the Little Red Cow Shit Scraper [1] nobel are your wheels of muck strong little scraper, oh ye take away all that is wet, all dung and straw, to mystical land of forgettingness. mountains of cow shit hast though moved in rain, sleet, sunshine yay we celebrate your courage and onwardness oh litle red cow shit scraper! [1] composed one afternoon while holding cows back from the feed lot, gazeing into their beautful dark brown eyes, wondering while i had come half a planet to stand in cow shit and compose poetry, life is wierd that way. 6:40am is a delicate gental silent hour of the day to be locked in a large concret room with 70 bleary eyed bellyacheing cows, all doing what most of us do in the morning, useing the toliet. It's especially a delicate hour of the day to spend three quarters of that time perched between a cows legs hooking up dairy units. Life is risking business. The principlate physical discomfort of dairy work is thus: concret has no absorbancy power. As any kid whos tried to pee on concret or rock knows, the spatter range of unrine is one of the wonders of the world. This is no different in cows, they only have bigger bladders. 74 cows, body masses of around 1200 pounds all doing their morning rutinewhile you dash inbetween their legs to hook up dairy units for 2 hours every morning and evening is something of an event. There are perks to every job, no matter how hard. One of mine is getting to spray cow shit and urine around a concret pit with a high powered water hose twice a day, to "clean up". heh heh heh. Todays tractor work began today when Geoff started Hemmingway the tractor by rolling him down the hill. Tractors are sticky things at the best of time, and the dampness lends nothing to its ease. Hemmingway burped, coughed, and rolled his way down the road. It's a good thing we live on a hill, it makes the task much easier. One of these days however we are going to be rolling past the farm gates and to the other end of the valley before the motor kicks into gear. Hemmingway gradually rolled a few feet, belched a stream of smoke, splutter, creeked a few steps furter, and then sprung into life. ----November 27---------- Im still having a ball. :) Feel free to post on this page to communicate/praise/endlessly adore grace and compliment me. *wink* i love wiki but dont have enough time to read as much as i want to, so if you need a message at me, go for it and post it down there... :) The big project right now is clearing a large shed of bits of junk so we can lamb out ewes in January in the shed.. Clearing it out makes me think how much delight Chris Black and Ryland would have: its a macanical geek dumpster diving paradise... full of bits of cope pipes, plastic hoses, every kind of thing a ma-bobbers, clamps, gears, bits of old motors, string, pipes, gears, pulliees, wheels, scrape metal. I had Sunday and Monday off work. I went to a dance workshop all day Sunday, was dropped off in Exeter and spent the night in the hostel. all day Monday i went to the cathedral, shopped, bummed around the museum, wlked inteh rain , and generally had a good time of it. I made it to the 7:30 am church service adn communion, which goes under "educatioanl experience". there wer 4 members of the clergy there, and 4 members of the public. A nice lady named Margret who i sat next to rather "adopted" me, showing me where to find the hymns and whent ot stand up. Later Margret and her friend Edith took me out ofr a cup of teat with the regular church group. I sat in a casfe in the rain and talked about religion and travel and Dartmoor. It was delightful! The Exeter Cathedral is almost completly indiscrable.It rightfully has the place of one of the best examples of decorated gothic in all of england. Unfortanly i couldnt appreciate the stained glass because of the cloudy day. Vaulted rooves have the effect of lmost forecable fulling your eyes upward. It was best first thing in the morning, when only the devoted regulars and clergy floated about it, half lite in the early morning light, a church nearly 800 years old... My return train trip was only supposed to be a 30 minute trip, my train was delayed by 40 minutes makeing the trip at lest an hour long. Britrail in Britian is in very very VERY bad shape. A 3 hour trip took 9 hours yesterday for some people heading north... all over the news. The amazing thing about Exeter, is that as little as a few feet under the tarmac streets and parking lots of things little city, is the ruins of a Roman camp from about 70AD. Everywhere. Its more then a slight problem of what to do, after all you cant just rip up a city for the heck of it to look at what is under neath. The handy thing about English accents is that even if it doesnt sound like english, if you slow it down enough, it becomes english. My breasts betray me. Small round pieces of mamury and fat glands take away my power. one look. "oh a woman." I do not relate to men well, i feel either a underling worker, a daughter, an object, a whore. -I do not feel professional around men.- I feel betrayed into shame, mistrust, humbled before men who are just that- men. Sometimes i hate being a woman it doesnt feel powerful. Around men i either feel ugly or dangerously attractive, "asking for trouble" "Charlies Angels" is this big movie out, How can i be a powerful capable woman if i dont weight 110 wear black leather and do backflips? I hate having my abilities as a human, a woman, dictated by my bra and dress size. I had this little total realization the last time i went shopping for a bathingsuit. For those 10 minutes i spent in the changing room with bathing suits to try on, several BILLION dollars had been spent controlling just how i would view my body. Think of the amount of money spent in Canada/America on the advertising of womans clothing, fashion, models, and makeup sales and advertising, the money the health industry aims at making woman crave thiness. billions and billions of dollars, a whole sector of the economy, dedicated just on how i feel about my body. and they all, all, 85% of them, -want me to hate my body.- If anyone actually reads this, please, see what I am really saying. Your self confidence in your own beauty and self worth is pitted against one of the most powerful vocal well organized published and promoted industries on the planet. All these fashions, makeups, diets, want you to hate your body, because then you will buy X product to feel better, if only for a little while. THINK ABOUT IT. No wonder its a tough bitchy battle. (the origional idea from here is in awonderful book called "not fat chicks" find it and read it) I resent my physical weakness. I work daily with a 38 year old man who has farmed his whole life, i can not and chances are never will, maatch his pure physcial strength. This frustrates me ever. single. day. I keep wanting to prove myself, over and over. Not bieng twice as strong as i am, frustrates me. Ironically this shouldnt, before i got here i was probably about as strong as many of my male friends, and stronger then at lest a few. After a day so filled with frustration at men, i had a wonderful dream. I am walking down a path on the farm i grew up on, with 3 men. They are trying to baait me into a fight, teasing and testing. I am very peaceful and unattached. A red dragon captivates me and leads me ahead. Yet their is an advangatge to my lack opf brute physical strength. Because im not usually stronge enough to just do it b y muscle, i have to think ahead, anticipate, use levers and pullies. The only problem with thinking about my dad is that i cant breath through the memory of forests and car greaase and wood fire smoke, leaving me gasping for air that doesnt remind me of him. Other then that, its really quite fine. I've been thinking about my little sister a lot lately, Heather turns 14 on Decemnber 3rd. I really wish i could be with her. I sent her a package yesterday, full of thoughts and treasures and more then anything yearning to be there for this great event. I can feel my body adjusting to work. My hands are toughening up, getting calluses and stronger, my arms and back are filling out again. It feels good to be working again. I'm still working about 12 hours a day, spending a few hours every night reading books writing letters or watching british soap operas. Im all empowered and big on the idea of world travel right now, and itching toget further asap, but still enjoying my time here. much love to all, thinking of you all often, hugs and kisses
-Dawn
------------ Nov 30 -----------------) Yesterday was just one-of-those-days, and i wrote this...
When I woke up this morning I was tired and cold. I split milk on the stove which burned and made a nasty smell. I split hot chocolate powered on the counter. I knew it was going to be a long day. Janet had a headache so it was just me on milking, which is fine, except I enjoy her company in the milk pit. A cow shit on me before 7:30 am. I blew cold water around from 10:30 am till 4:30pm cleaning cow shit off the walls. I was still hungry after lunch. Geoff was gruff with me over the spraying down. Janet came home late. Its never pleasant to watch 4 * hours of hard work come to nothing, but to observe it coming to ruin at the hands of 70 odd bovine dairy cattle shitting on a clean floor, is quite disheartening. There?s a workshop in Findhorn ,but it?s a LOT of money (like 500 pounds) and at the time of year when we are calving out. But it would be soooo cool to go to. I sent a letter which was one of those letters you write in a certain mood and wonder all the while and ever since if it was such a good plan. No one wrote. No one called. No one loves me. i love your more then life... dont you fucking forget it. ever love Heather ) I dont really feel that way, but i have my moments, especially on days when cows shit on me.. *grin*
Exert from a letter: I?m wearing my work clothes right now, my ?camp? jeans, now more holes then jeans, long underwear showing through the holes, blue t-shirt, a long overshirt, splattered and damp. I?ve tied a kurchief over my hair, which I am glad for at the end of the day, the amount of dirt straw and muck that would get in my hair otherwise is surpring. I?m wearing two pairs of socks my hands are getting rough and strong, the few marks from posion ivy are almost gone. The corners of my shouldrs are tight and a little sore from hauling scrap metal around. This is me on the outside, me on the inside is indescribable. The kitchen where I sit is dark, it is 4:05 and the light is fading. The table around me notebook is stacked with travel books on England, London, art, hostels, backpacking magazines and papers. Around me are objects from my day to day life that I know so well, the sugar bow (in constant use with tea) the water colour paintings, the oil burning stove. Im starting to evolve into this place slowly to imprint into it, let it become part of me. I am starting to know the naunces of the house, by standing in the hall I know how cold it is outside, the first morning light against the kitchen walls, the sound of rain on the cow shed door. Rachel Ks tape is playing in an old beat up tape deck. Im here and Im Im Im happy scared lonely excited I?m how I?ve always been. Does this make sense? I?m trying to discribe the feeling of standing in a field in south westren England and watching a bank of sunshine sweep a valley where the Romans hung out in 70 AD. To know I sleep in a room people have slept in for 400 years. I can feel a cold chill sinking through my wet clothes and into my back. I wont bother doing anything about it, 40 minutes from now I?ll be out milking. I can shower and sit by a fire when I come back in. Some things never change, most people around here think im freaking nuts too,. The thing is, I?ve (mostly) stopped caring. I didn?t come half way around the buggering world to comform to someone elses standard of who I am and how I should act. I?ll sit b the fire and read books on world history and scan dictionaries and atlas because I want to,. Not because its educational (?oh? they smile ?studying for when you go back to school??) or bookish, but because its lifeish. Because before I travel the world I should know a bit of it?s history. Its getting even darker in the kitchen, im enjoy not turning on the lights. It makes the green in the garden stand out even strong from the black stormy clouds. Trust Dawn to come to the UK when they are having the wettest fall in 300 years. December 4th Im at the sumerset library wasting the 37 minutes i have left on my time thing. Honestly, if im really really honest, im doing shitty these days. I dont know why, but im on the verge of tears most of the time, i think i might be in way over my head. This could go down as one of the worst christmas in history. I found ou thow much my phone calls ha e been costing and thats nooooot good so no more of that. And the internet is next door and that kinda went rough the last time so i dont hknow how often i'll get to e-mail. Its wierd living with people you know? like really really really living with them, and haveing the deal wi th little misunderstandisng and conflicts. When you work with them all day it isnt any better. I guess im just kinda bummed out. It was Heathers birthday yesterday, and dammit it was wierd to not be home. its just like, fucken eh. I feel like im bored and excited and scared most of the times. Evenings are the hardest, when i am left alone in my room with books and papers to write on and nothing to fill my thoughts. But this is insanity, ive been away from home for way longer then a month. Besides, ive wanted to do this since i was like 12 years old, so i wont fucking well back out now, i just wont. but i miss you kids. You think there are cool people everywhere, but i havent found many around here. sigh. Its just a combination of like Christmas and trying to make packages to send a lot of people, when i have no supplies and not much interesting to say and i miss everyone. Its just like, yah. whoa. But really, i think im doing okay, or i will in a month or so, when Christmas and New Years is over and i get into the hang of things. Sometimes i think the next 5 months will be really long and sometimes i think it will be short, and sometimes i hate each of the options. love -Dawn December 20th Tomorrows winter solstice! Im stopping in at the library in Taunton on my way to Glastonbury, where all the hippies live, for Solstice. damn i miss Northern California and all of the west coast. Sorry i hav etn been e-mailing anyone, i havent been on the net in nearly 2 weeks, as my slow typing is starting to show. Well. Im working. Its raining. same old same old. Being away from everyone is starting to really really bite. (Ive been thinking about Reanna a lot lately, and i wish i could get ahold of your addresse some time before you move on! Id like to know how your travels are going) Its wierd getting mail from 2 weeks, e-mails of people being high and low and human, and more then anything wanting to hear from me, but it was like a week ago. Dammit its wierd to know i could be helping friends and i cant because well im all the way over here. Christmas is like 4 days away and honestly i dont really give a care, im just trying to survive the Christmas season more then anything. Anyone have a clue how to entertain ones self for 14 weeks in Europe? *grin* love -Dawn December 22nd Whoa, what a kick ass Solstice! Glastonbury is AWSOME, you all have to go there one day now. Its like Eugene only in Britian, and with really old ruins and chaples and more pagans then you can shake your fist at. I stayed in the hostel which was wonderful. Theres soemthing so inspiring and wonderful about hostels and the people they attract. I hung out with some kids from 'down under', canada, the Check republic, and Sweden. Solstice was magickal... I hiked to the thop of the Thor, a hill thats been holding human rituals and meaning since 10000BC, a long longtime. There is a single tower standign there now, all thats left of a chaple built to st micheal in the 14th centurey. I was standing at the top, buffited by the wind before the sun rose watched the moon slip between clouds. I feel wonderful. A bit scared for the comeing week, i am dreading Christmas and wish it would hurry up and get OVER with, because im sick of it and want nothing more to do with it. Im playing hte song 'both hands' by Ani so much, and all celtic music i can find. Im reading my first Terry Prachet book. (the Lloyds would be proud, eh?) I hope everyone reading this is so happy and peaceful and on top of the world that they cant see strait. :) hugs and kisses
-Dawn
February 11, 2001 I thought I'd put something here for people who want to know what's going on with Dawn, and she hasn't been on the Internet in weeks so I don't think she'll get around to updating this anytime soon. Well, I called her up a couple days ago (middle of the afternoon for me, bedtime for her... oops) and we had a good talk. She's doing pretty well, but says that she can't stand to farm for much longer... she'll be out of there in three months, and traveling around Europe! God I'm so envious. *swoons at the thought of traveling again* I don't know how long she'll be doing that... probably until her money runs out ;) She says she'll be trying for places like Germany, Belgeim (sp?), Austria, Ukraine, etc. Dawn, if you look at this and want me to take it down, tell me and I will. ~Eire Feb 11th :) Okay okay so i finally got back near a computer. THe last moneht since i posted has mostly been a blurr of work. 6:30 am to 6:30 pm mostly. I like it though and i often get time off in the middle of the day for a while. Please, little whiney request from Dawn, does anyone feel like sending me some music tapes? I'm prepareing to travel Europe for 4 months alone, and music is something that always makes traveling easier and more memoriable. SO if any of you would like to send me the sort of music YOU would want as a soundtrack to the most amazing trip of your life, please do. :) ps on mail- i love getting letters, but as of May 2nd or so i wont be here to recieve them... so dont send 'em too late. Rather mail them some place like Greece where i can pick them up on the way through. did i just say that?... Works work, with a lot of cow shit in place. I like working with sheep. On a hard day i vow that the next anaimal i work with will be insanly smart clean and my co-workers will be other woman. *grin grin grin* I feel silly because iw ait so long to get a chance to write and then i dont know what to say. Dreams, most of my dreams that i remember are of camp, unschoolers or Shippy and in most of them im either crying or hugging or both. Please, everyone come to Theory kay? *grin* Im hopeing to fly almost strait to Theory from London, assuming ££ works out. sigh. grin. Everyone asks me if im having a good time or not. And i am... I think. Im too close to it all the judge properly, its like living on top of a dragon or something. I study Europe as best as i can and plot my trips. I cant beleive in doing this, its kinda stunning. My love to you all :)))) -Dawn Hi Dawn! I just wanted to stick a note in here for you because obviusly you will be looking at this page. Feel free to deleate it if you want but you don't have to. Anywho. Your time in britan sounds like it has been wonderful so far. And I know what you mean when you say cows are more about poop than milk. :-) Your discription of the farm really makes me want to hop a plane and come see it and you. Please continue to give us updates. I love you lots and heres a hug. Ruth [2] 11/22/00 3:42pm Dawn girl! Hope you'll forgive me for posting on your space (you can erase this message once you get it if you want) but I wanted to reach you! I read your post on wiki and you say you want/need to hear that people miss you? My dear girl have you been checking your e-mail??? Did I send it to the wrong address? Have you ever looked in your mail box? If you have received what I sent, (I count 2-3 emails and a letter) you should know that I miss you like hell. Send me an e-mail or something dear! I want to hear from you so much! ~Rosie
(Thanksgiving night, complete with good dessert smells) Hi Dawn, I don't know you but, i just thought I'd say that I enjoy reading about you being a half a planet away, standing in cow shit, composing poetry...and all the rest. :)
Dancer In The Rising Dawn, Dancer in the wind swaying swaying in the early Dawn dew, so swifed and calm. full if life and beauty. breath in that dawn wind, deep and long saver it love it then let go. free! free! free! I want her i need her but i am happy for she is free there she is there..look over there! swaying in the morning glory's, the Lilly's and the roses in England lission to her living and loving lission lission hard if you lission you will here her heart calling "i am free and i am happy" laughing, singing and danceing. Dance....dance dance my dancer dance with all your loving heart for you are free. well, i've been reading this page faithfully! dawn, i miss you, and i am so glad to hear about how & what you're doing. good luck to ya... :) i love you more than... than... fantasizing about going back out west! (oh my god, FEEL the LOOOVE...) Oh dawn! So happy to read what you're up to. So wholesome! I wish I was that wholesome ;) I love the ways you're thinking. I'm coveting a situation like yours right now Dawn, I love you so very much that it's spilling over the edges of me. I hope you are having an absolutely wonderful time, and do update some time if you can! I want to know what's going on with you. I have a package to send out to you soonish... :) ~Eire hi dawn! i finally finished my letter to you...but i don't think it would make it to england in time...:( [1] but anyway, thanks so much for what you said in your letter, i love you, hope you're having an awesome time, and see you at theory i hope i hope i hope. post your addy in israel or email me starinmysky at hotmail.com so i can send you the letter! x0x0 jenny [1] Yes it would, if you mailed it in the next couple of weeks. It only takes about a week for mail to travel from here to there. But that's still sometimes too bloody long... sigh -Mitchell
[83] damn dawn sounds like you have some stories to tell. (seven marriage proposals? holy! can you keep the camles without the guy?)- rosie
Dawn!! i miss you!! i want to write you, but i don't know where to send a letter! tell me how! i love the charm you sent me, i wear it as an anklet on one green & one red ribbon. i love you. kat aka kate e. Dawn!! hey love! I haven't heard from you in ages but I'll write you at your poste restante. I miss you very much and wish you were here. love, Rosie [42] Hey Dawn! All this you're doing is incredible, you know that? I don't know if it's too late or you've already made plans for the rest of your time in Israel, but I thought I'd mention something... I have two wonderful aunts (each with a matching wonderful family) who live in Israel, one in Jerusalem and one in Tel Aviv. I am sure they would be very willing to provide a place to stay or help you out otherwise. Of course, I haven't actually spoken to them yet, but I know you and Shippy would both be welcome. Email me if you're interested. -Emerie (emerie at nbtsc.org) NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 63 times, last edited on August 11, 2001 by risingdawn@nbtsc.org. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
