Defining Kim

Something which shall be defined, eventually...in a daggerish mood, shall take a stab at it now.

It's not a definition, it's a sound. Of breathing. In the still.

I look out of my window and see four drunk guys waving up at me. I put on my cute girl masque and talk to them. They invite us to join them for a beer. We are terribly bored and do.

My father has always been interested in work more than children.

Masque of the betrayed is naught to be seen. Betrayed hides.

I'm really sorry.

Funny how that creeps into everything, you know? Sorry. As if there's something to apologise for. As if those two words will make it better.

If I could do one thing right, it would be having a conversation. Because I am really terrible at conversations. I adjust myself to the other person, if I'm too tall or too loud. And then I figure otu what they're thinking, and it's usually something *bad*. Funny how people reject you. Funny how you reject yourself...

If I could do one thing right, it would be make an omelette.

Shadowily looking up at the stars she betrayed you, and will always. Guiltily sleeping soundly in your arms, you'll never know the difference.

She didn't.

Didn't speak, didn't call, didn't cry, didn't look you in the eye.

She walked the hell out of your cavern of lies and filth and wretchedness and superiority and superficialness and so did I.

Stepping into a great void, I silently mourn for what is left behind, and pray for that to come. Desiring not to torment, but to enrage, awaken, rebutt you and your notions, with which I take exception.

I go into the world armed with myself and plenty of Looks and wanting to move only forward. I go. . .

I wish it were easier. I wish it was harder. I wish I didn't have small children about the house, wanting me to stay, wanting me to be there for them. I wish I could be there for them. I wish the conflict of reliability and freedom did not emerge. I wish adolescence was not so rampant. I wish I were thinner. I wish I had more honorable emotions, and expressed myself more fluently. I am glad I can see flaws. I am glad to be alive.