Is That You Sam

Is That You, Sam?

a little story by Emerie Snyder, written in March of 1997 (but I still like it)

It was late.

“Sam, hurry up and get down here, or you’ll miss the bus!” Sam’s mother shouted up the stairs.

“Sometimes I don’t know what to do with that boy,” she thought. “He’s always sleeping or else eating. And I struggle to get him out of the house each morning. Not to mention he’s slow as molasses! And as if that weren’t enough, someone keeps leaving rotten bananas around the kitchen. I can’t stand rotten bananas in my kitchen!”

At that moment a small figure in a big raincoat and hat walked in. “Sam? Is that you Sam?” the mother inquired.

A harsh raspy voice answered from somewhere under the coat, “Mind your own beeswax, lady!”

“Oh, you naughty boy! How dare you speak to your mother like that! You apologize to me right this minute.”

Silence.

“Well?”

Not a sound.

“I’m waiting!”

That awful voice retorted, “Hey, stop bugging me, lady, or I’ll punch your face in!”

That was the last straw for Sam’s mother. “Oh, is that so? Well, you’re going to school whether you like it not! I’ll deal with you this afternoon. But you’re not going to school in that ugly raincoat. Here, let me take this off---”

“NO! NO!”

“Oh don’t be so fussy. My! You didn’t take a bath like I told you to, did you? You smell awful!”

She then proceeded to remove the raincoat, only to find another raincoat underneath! Sam’s mother threw the first raincoat out the window and took off the second one. But can you imagine what she found under the second coat? Another raincoat! It went on like this for what seemed like an eternity, with the raincoats getting smaller and the awful smell getting stronger. Until finally there was only a little doll sized coat (By then, Sam’s mother was almost in tears, wondering if she had accidentally put her little boy in with the wash and he’d shrunk). When she took off that last coat, you know what she found?

There lay a rotten banana.

“Oh, they always do get into my kitchen somehow,” said Sam’s mother as she threw it out the window.

The End