Lets All Be Stupid

This page is for when you feel like writing stupid stuff.

I'm a happy little nincompoop! a nincompoop, a nincompoop, I'm a happy little nincompooooooop.....

and I'd like to welcom you to munchkin land! -BeanieBaby

pen ink is the right ink, and leaves are belly dancers in the snow. Soon the pixies will sing like whales, and the jam will eat the toast. hands will soon turn into a black shaggy dog. ~Alyson

"Hi there! Welcome to the Microsoft Sociopath College. We specialize in becoming sociopaths, but also have degrees in mul mul multiple personalities. Because you need to earn the name Dr. Crazy. Microsoft Sociopath College, Who do You want to be today!" -Mitchell C. on one of my "spur of the moment" rants

Cory tells a good story:

ok so earlier this evening, I got stranded in Surrey. now not knowing anything about Vancouver, that probably means nothing. but if you've ever been to Surrey, you'll know what I mean. if you haven't, just know this, it's about an hour/45minutes outside of Vancouver, driving, an hour and a half bussing. therefore it's a suburb. therefore it's a really un-fun place to be. especially if your not leaving.

I was out there, because I was invited. I was invited by these two rambunctious girls I met at the Less Than Jake show I attended on Thursday (today being Sunday). they started talking to me, telling me all about how they were roadies for the band that opened for Less Than Jake (Zebrahead), and how they got tired of it, so now they only sometimes do it, and the people up on stage setting up, are their replacements. and on and on talking out of their asses. it was really funny. and then they gave me a flier for a show at a place called the Java Joint. and told me it was really great, and i should go. and then later on after the show, they found me again, and took my flier away, to give to another girl, who presumably they met in the same way, who was visiting from Chicago. she had pretty red hair. and then they gave me their phone numbers, and told me to come to the show on Sunday, because it was gonna be really great.

so I did. today I called up Megan. because her phone number was the one written most legibly on my arm. and she told me what time it was; 8:00-8:30pm, and where it was; Java Joint,, Surrey. and she told me which SkyTrain stop to get off at; the one right after King George Station. so I got on the SkyTrain, at about 7:15pm, and after much misshaping (there is no stop right after King George) and wandering (note to self, south is the other way.) i arrived there, at about 8:45pm. it was a great show, two bands, one skate-punk-blink182ish-hi-we-suck-band called Marlinspike (turns out that was their first ever show, after hearing that I had a bunch more respect for them). and one super cool 7 piece ska band, with alotta energy, called Crowned King (http://www.crownedking.com/). they had a super rad singer dude, who jumped around a lot. i had a ton of fun, skanking around, and moshing, and dancing, and smiling. and then it was over.

now this place, the Java Joint, has a back room place, where the show was, and then a front room, with a cozy coffee shop feeling, ?cz it is a cozy coffee shop. so I spent the next few hours talking with the pretty girl from Chicago, and Megan, about music, and the show, and the fish tank TV, and stuff, and it was lotsa fun. and then i realized it was midnight. and i started to leave. but pretty Chicago girl's ride wasn't there yet, but it was going to be there in 10 minutes or so. so i waited around and we chatted, and she raved about this really cool band called That Dog, whom I'm listening to now. they're as cool as she claimed, too. and then her ride arrived, and Megan and I walked off to the SkyTrain stop. it was about 12:35 by the time we got there. wouldn't yah know, on sundays the last train goes at 12:30. and that?s my story.

how I got out of that mess is another story. and it's actually really boring, so I'll leave that to the imagination. -Cory

(Cheering, wild applause)

Inspired by Cory's fine anecdote, I shall now relate the tale of how Nick and Gennie sank lower than they ever thought possible (a tale of the uglier side of human nature, and the eating of fruit).

It started, innocently enough, with our running out of money. Gennie was visiting the *icks residence in Corvallis. Justin had recently moved in, and Rick had just departed for a few weeks in Colorado. We'd just barely been scrapping by for several days, and finally we passed from poor to broke.

Now, Gennie and I are hardly strangers to the fine art of low/no-budget entertainment and survival, and we had Justin to mooch off, as well as an ample supply of Internet, so for the first few days we weren't terribly concerned. We rationed out what little raw food remained in the apartment (have you ever had a peanut butter and dill pickle sandwich? No? And you call that living?) and Justin generously furnished us with midnight burritos. Then word came from Rick... he had more work in Colorado than he cared to deal with, and wanted to pass some of it off to me. Salvation! Feeling smug for having survived a few days without cash, I set to work programming, certain I'd be paid in a couple days at the most.

The next few days passed... and the next few after that... it became obvious that the company I'd been working for was in no rush to compensate Rick or I for our efforts. Justin ran out of spare cash (and, perhaps, tolerance for moochers... the "work a month, mooch a month" system of organized slacking that Rick and I had devised had failed to impress him, as he hadn't yet been given a turn to mooch), and Jake, Max, and Jake's friend Jesse arrived. Gennie, who unlike myself possesses many useful skills, took to baking bread, as flour was one of the few commodities we still had in abundance.

This is where my recollection of events becomes fuzzy... over the next week, we ate a lot of bread, and took the edge off our hunger/malnutrition by focusing instead on bicycling and depriving ourselves of sleep. Have you ever noticed how absolutely hilarious the world can be when you've been awake over 24 hours?

Finally, the lack of nutrition became unbearable, and we found ourselves desperate for real food. Specifically, I had a serious craving for any manner of fruit (we joked that we probably had scurvy). Justin, Max, Jake, and Jesse took off on a hike, and as soon as they left, Gennie and I began scrounging for spare change. Under furniture, in pockets, we scoured the entire apartment. After half an hour, we'd accumulated roughly $1.50 , plus several bottles, each worth a $0.05 deposit.

We loaded up the bottles, and biked to the food co-op on the other end of town. The bottles earned us another $1.50 . I also discovered that I had almost three dollars remaining on my bank card. We used this to purchase two blood oranges, and three peaches.

Now here is the truly pathetic part... on the way home, about a block from the co-op, we passed through a park by the riverfront. Unable to wait any longer, we left the bikes leaning against a park bench, and each taking a blood orange, walked to the river. Here we ravenously devoured the oranges in a sickening orgy of pulp and citrus. Like a pathetic pair of hopeless addicts, terrified of losing any of the precious fruit, we licked juice from our fingers and the peels, and sat by the river, sighing as the much needed vitamins washed over us. Never before has anything tasted so good. And if I can help it, never again.

After we regained what little composure we'd had to begin with, we bicycled on to la conga (the local cheap all-night taco shop), and used the remaining money to purchase a single veggie burrito. When we got back to the apartment, the hikers were sprawled out napping on the tiny patch of "lawn" out front. We tip toed by them, fearful that if they should stir and see us with food, they might expect us to do the honorable thing and offer to share. We split the burrito right away, and hid the peaches in my closet.

That night, Gennie came into my room to use the computer. We exchanged shameful glances, knowing just how sad our river-side picnic had been. A while later, after everyone else had gone to sleep, we closed the door. "So, want to eat those peaches now?"

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