Limeric K

Ah, the limerick.. and other fine (and funny) poetries. A limerick, by the way, is a poem of the rhyming form A,A,B,B,A. The rhythm goes something like this like this (with emphasis shown):

 dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/
 dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/
 dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/
 dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/
 dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/-dah-dah-/dah/

 There once was a girl named Paprika
 For Ezra she always would seek-a
 Her friend Buttercup
 Said "just give it up"
 "You're starting to act like a freak-a"

• I'm printing that out and putting it on my wall.

 There once was a girl named Kathleen,
 who knitted pajamas from a skein.
 When they came all unstitched,
 she complained and she bitched,
 and said, "I'll sew the next ones by machine."

a snazzy little trio:

 There once was a staffer, quite slender,
 Who spoke of a lover so tender:
 "As to how it appears,
 I'm aware that it's queer;
 But who really cares about gender?"

 There once was a staffer, a dyke,
 Who was dating a transguy named Mike.
 Said she, "He's a guy,
 So does that make me bi,
 If it's both of his genders I like?" 

 There once was a girl into sex,
 Who somehow hooked up with her ex.
 "We've got to be poly,"
 Said he, "Since there's Holly,
 And Edwin and Lisa are next." 

witchbaby (who else?)

 There once was a modem named fred
 Who's linehandler was totally dead
 When turned on for use
 it gobbled the juice
 But the lights would only show red
		~ Aredridel

 ICQ protocol's evil
 Was probably designed by a weevil
 Then some engineer
 with an ugly sneer
 Foisted it upon the the people.
		~ Aredridel

 When I hear the phone ring,
 I think IRC's a more wonderful thing
 With no file-based logging,
 a phone call is more like a slogging
 So instead, let's have a net fling.
		~ Aredridel

 "Net Fling?" you say,
 "Rick must be gay"
 I never said that,
 You silly dingbat
 I never meant it that way.
		~ Aredridel

 "There was a young man who said "damn!
 it seems that i certainly am,
 a creature that moves
 in determinint grooves
 I'm not even a bus,
 I'm a tram!"
          -posted by Dawn (hence her spelling errors) but made up by
          Allan Watts, amazing writer speaker and teacher of 
          wonderfulness  

 I have a tiny pea-sized brain,
 That makes me screw up again and again,
 I say something witty,
 That makes me look ditzy,
 And drives everyone around me insane. 
            /-wanderlust the urban pixie/

       My heart is an empty space,
       Like a food that has no taste,
       My eyes are cold,
       My soul is sold, 
       Satan's laughter took it away.
               Yours cynically, /-wanderlust the urban pixie/

       A limerik packs laughs anatomical
       Into space that is quite economical.
       But the good ones I've seen
       So seldom are clean,
       And the clean ones so seldom are comical. 
               by Anonymous, posted by Marina

       When people are mean and strict,
       You gotta go get a grip, 
       So go to the 'puter,
       Where the troubles are fewer,
       And write a cynical limerick.
            /-wanderlust the urban pixie/

       There once was a young man named Noam
       Who was nice, and his name rhymed with poem.
       Then a creature named Rach
       Resolved to waste space
       By posting this lit'rary gem.
                    - Naela

       "This girl cannot rhyme!" you might say.
       "Why writes she this junk anyway?"
       Well you won't spoil my mood
       You impolite frood
       Go muss someone else's good day.
                    - Naela (in a silly mood) [0]

       The government lurks inside,
       My unknown unconscious mind,
       With their brainwashing tools,
       And their public schools,
       It's a wonder I haven't gone blind.
                  /-wanderlust the urban pixie/

 I don't want to go where I'm going,
 Indeed, my foul mood must be showing.
 And yet, on this day,
 I shall go anyway,
 And the tears down my cheeks shall be flowing.

        I suck way too much at rhyme,
        I get too twisted up in mind,
        But poetry's quite nice,
        When it's done right,
        But I can't write worth a dime.
                     /-wanderlust the urban pixie/

Wow, I think this is the first limerick I've written that isn't depressing or cynical!

        It's pleasently June with roses in bloom,
        Far from my thoughts are darkness and gloom,
        'Cause summer is here,
        And moments are dear,
        And adventures and parties await me so soon!
           /-wanderlust the urban pixie/

I tend to write limericks using people's names to fill up extra space on letters...

 A beautiful young girl named Becky
 At camp said "I feel a bit pecky.
 The food is quite fine
 If on veggies you dine
 But I find tofu scramble-- well-- blechy.

-marina [1]

[0] Opium, I love that one! Impolite frood....I shall have to remember that one... -Robyn

[1] Yay! *applauds* I like that one. Very good. -Kathleen