Meaning Of Goodbye

Last night, I was hit with a really bad pang of missing everyoneI went and sat in my room and just cried and beat the crap out of my bed for about 30 minutes. Afterwards, utterly exhausted, I wrote this.

The Meaning of Goodbye:

Today: The day where I suddenly understood the meaning of goodbye. It is no longer what you say when you hang up the phone or what you sign at the end of a letter-it?s not two simple syllables with one simple meaning. It?s the word that sticks in your throat, it?s the last thing you whisper in each person?s ear, it?s painted on your hands that wave at withdrawing buses. It?s a word you despise with all your soul because it also means the end. It means leaving each person you are linked with, it means softly blowing out the candle you?ve lit in each other. It is woven in the tears you weep. It is what you avoid all week long. You never knew a word could mean so much . . . until this solemn day, you thought you knew the meaning of goodbye . . . but as you cling to each other in last minute embraces, goodbye is no longer so simple. No! You want to shriek, nails scratching viciously at the passage of time itself. In a bitter rage, you want to fall to your knees, you want to lower your head from the airwaves that flicker tremulously with good-byes. Can?t you hold on one second, no, don?t pull away yet, I?m not ready! One more goodbye, please, let me touch you and smell you one more time, let me memorize the color of your eyes, wait, I haven?t said enough, time please slow down, I?m not done, I haven?t even met everyone yet, it can?t be goodbye, it can?t be the end! Don?t you understand? I love you and I miss you already, no your bus can?t be leaving now, another minute please, let me touch you once again, Stop, you bastard called time, you know not the heartache you cause. Good-byes are not simple . . . what words do you leave this person with at the last, what words do you leave unsaid? It must not end now, clock reverse, bus, switch off your engine, you aren?t going anywhere if I have lay before your tires, I haven?t said my final farewells, I haven?t let myself cry ?til now, please, don?t you understand, good-byes aren?t simple, I need a few more minutes, hours, days, years . . . I have to say goodbye, I mustn?t lose this person to time and a faulty memory. I want to linger in your arms, if only time would freeze, I must reach everyone, I must tend to every soul that I love and that includes you all, I have to tell you one more thing, don?t pull away-You are mistaken, it is the beginning of the week, not the end at all, you must believe me, please! It can?t be time, I?ve only learned my way into your heart today, don?t go, don?t leave me, don?t turn your back to me and walk away, it can?t be time, no, stay here with me always. You are my reason for living out this moment. You are my muse, don?t go . . . tell me you?ll miss me, convince me that you won?t forget, tell me this isn?t goodbye, tell me this isn?t goodbye forever.

Goodbye can punch you. Stab you. Choke you.

Goodbye used to be so easy, so simple . . . but today, I learned the meaning of goodbye.

~Jasmine

oh Jasmine! that was absolutely beautiful. it's made me really think about saying goodbye. it's still hitting me. you are such an amazing writer. keep it up :) -Lydia

Right now, Jasmine, that was one of the more beautiful things I could have read. Thank you.

Last night, Dawn left... we said goodbye, at the bus station, as the bus pulled in. The bus won't wait... goodbye is so short.

She's not coming back.

Not soon anyway. She'll be in England for eight months. Maybe ten.

Ouch.

Wow. Jasmine, that was amazing. It's one of those things you read and you say to yourself, wow, I thought I was the only person who felt that way. Then you say to yourself, wow...everyone feels that way...why is it so hard to say it? But you said it. Thank you. Jenny

Jasmine, that's incredible! I felt the same way when i left camp. i'm crying right now... you put into words what's been torturing me for weeks. because at camp, i too, learned the meaning of goodbye. ~Nell