Once Upon A Danopian

Dan pulled his knees up to his chest and stirred his cold tea. If only thing hadn't gotten so out of hand, he thought to himself with a sigh. If only Ryland hadn't tried to outwit me... He felt a draft and pulled his sweater up to his neck. Damn, these Abbeys got cold. He sipped his tea and spat it out, apalled at the biterness. He stared out the window a bit more. None of this would have happened... why had he fallen in love? After Sister Ted's warnings? Dan threw his teacup at the door and crumpled into a pile. He looked up as the door opened and there she was. In all her beauty and wonderment. Her hair was held up and her eyes shone with disappointment and regret. He opened his mouth to speak her name.

"Candra..." he whispered.

Candra looked at him with no pity, or none that he could see. She was sad that things had to end this way, but she knew that they always did when one found themselves lusting after her. Candra had this spell over people, which made them love her and desperately want her love in return. She loved him, yes, but it did not last long after she realized that he was already in a relationship with Ali. But loving Candra made him forget that bit of vital information. (Little did he know, Ali was having an affair with Jessica anyway.)

"Halis dabru farid Mao," Candra replied.

"What?" said Dan, in confusion.

"Oh yea- sorry, I was thinking in a different language." Candra blushed a little, and looked away.

"Can't you forgive me? I'm sorry I hurt you..." Dan began to blubber. "I didn't mean to...I mean...but..."

"Dan, I know that you love me, but I belong to no other than Sister Ted. He wants to marry me now." She gazed at the broken bits of the shattered tea cup on the floor.

Dan grew angry...Sister Ted, marry Candra? What could she possibly want with him? He was evil...Dan knew that now. He had to get away from Ted or he might hurt him- and then he knew for sure that he'd be in trouble. All of a sudden, Ted came running into the room.

"Candra? I'm sorry, but I can't marry you, because Becky just gave birth to a hermaphrodite twin things with cow hooves, and from the look of it, they're mine. I'd ask for a paternity test, but if you could see them... it's obvious that they're mine. Sorry 'bout that!" and with a flash and a bang, he was out the door.

Dan looked at Candra, trying to appear apologetic, but not doing a very good job of it. Candra looked at Dan, knowing almost exactly what he was going to say.

"Dan..."

"Candra, Ted's a pig. Or maybe a cow. Or he could even be an alien. Come to think of it, I'm not really sure. But I promise I'll treat you like a queen. Or if you prefer, I could treat you like a servant. I'll treat you like anything you want me to!" Candra looked at him for a minute, and then picked up the phone.

"Hello... Dominoes? I'd like three large pizzas for delivery..." ...add here!