Once Upon A Rachael

Rachael's eyes shot open as she awoke to the persistant buzzing of her alarm clock. She glanced over to check what time it was, it was 7:30 in the morning.

"Goddamnit! It always goes off an hour before it's supposed to!" Rachael exclaimed, as she grabbed an overly large mallet and beat the living daylights out of her alarm clock.

"There, thats better." Rachael took a shower, got dressed, and had just decided to put a little clear mascara on when she heard a knock on her door. "Who is it?" Rachael shouted, her voice tainted with frustration.

There was silence.

Grumbling, Rachael put down the mascara and make her way over the humongous pile of junk to her door. She opened the door, only to find that Jessica (Copi) was standing on the other side.

"Other half!" They both shouted in unison. They started doing a complex handshake routine and then reared back, and rammed into each other, mashing themselves together, until they become one.

"I am now Rachica! Super human!" Rachica exclaimed. The two armed, two legged, two headed, super brained, four breasted Rachica waddled over to a table, and started making toast. Rachica continued to make toast, day and night. Soon toast littered the ground, and there wasn't a spot in the entire area that wasn't covered in toasted bread or jam.

People begged Rachica to stop making toast, but she only responded by zapping them with little lazers from her eyes (all four of them!), a skill in which she had so recently aquired. The townspeople decided something had to be done about Rachica, and all that damn toast!

One night, while Rachica was sound asleep... Jadzia snuck stealthily around the house, followed by Franny.

"shhhh don't wake them" whispered Franny as Jadzia began the task at hand. Franny laid silver electrical tape in a wide circle all around the bed, while Jadzia figured out the exact DNA of each Jessica and Rachael.

"There! Done, finally!" exclaimed Jadzia, who looked over at Franny and beckoned her closer, "Now, its time."

They both grabbed the handle of the thingymabob that the mastermind Marina had been working on for the past 6 months, looked once more at the sleeping Rachica, and pressed the red button.

Right as the button was pushed, Rachica opened her eyes, and yelped with surprise as she quickly split into two people once more. At that exact moment, the doorbell rang. Jadzia ran to answer it, and lo behold it was...

Spunky Man (Matt B) and his side kick Mr. Adorable (Brent W)! Everyone in the room looked at them.

"We are here to save the day by putting Rachica to her death!" Said Spunky man.

"No!" said Jadzia, "We just fixed it. I did reserch on this mutant and fixed it, now Rachael and Jessica are two again."

"Oh..." said Spunky Man and Mr. Adorable, very disappointedly.

"Hey but if you want to we all can go get ica cream!"

Spunky Man and Mr. Adorable looked verry excited.

"Yes!" said the two super guys, and so all of them went out to ice cream (Jessica, Rachael, Matt B, and Brent) (Jadzia and Franny could not go for scientific studys awaited them at their lab). When they got to the ice cream place you would not guess who they saw there. None other than....

Victor And Lindsey! But it was strange to them that Victor would be in a fishnet thong, and Lindsey would be in a black leather skin tight suit and have a southern accent.

"Hey what are you to doing here?" said Jessica.

"Hey y'all" shouted Lindsey. "Oh, well me and victor have here made ourselves some them there here super villains! And our name's are Girl Of Darkness and Kinky Boy!"

"How about that," said Brent, "Matt and I are super heros!"

"You don't say." said Kinky Boy.

"Hummmmm..." said Lindsey (in deep thought), "Hey, maybe Kinky Boy and I can go do some evil doings and you can try to stop us!"

"Ok" said Spunky Man and Mr. Adorable.

"WAIT!!!" said Rachael and Jessica, "What about us?!"

"ummm, pick a side." said Lindsey.

"Yeah, pick a side." said Matt.

"Hummm" said Rachael. "I will be on the Villains side." "I will be on the good guys side" said Jessica.

So Girl Of Darkness And Kinky Boy took Rachael to their secret lair. and Spunky Man and Mr. Adorable did the same with Jessica.

"So Rachael what do you want your name to be?" asked Kinky boy.

"No," said Lindsey, "Let me pick it out for her, if you tell her to pick her own name out she will take forever." Lindsey thought about it for a moment and said, "Rachael, you're name will be... Tonic Girl!"

"I like that name." said Rachael.

"Good!" said Lindsey, "So lets all go make plans of what we're going to destroy! Moohahahah!!"

But at that very moment the villian did not know Spunky Man, Mr. Adorable, and their new partner (who had been named Sky Girl), were preparing to stop the villian in any evil deed they were going to try to do...

"What do you think their planning on doing, Sky Girl?" said Spunky Man, as he thought carefully, "I mean, Rachael, er, Tonic Girl, is your other half, you should know what she's thinking, right?"

"Usually I know what she's thinking, but for some reason, I cant connect with her mind right now. Maybe the villians have a secret other half brain melding block wall set up?" Sky Girl replied.

"Thats entirely possible," said Spunky Man, as he motioned for Mr. Adorable to come over to him, "Hey Mr. Adorable, could you go get us some soda and chips?"

"Sure thing, Spunky Man!" Mr. Adorable replied cheerfully.

"Sky Girl? Could you come over here and study these charts with me for a few minutes, maybe we can determine a way to get in, so we can see if their planning anything."

Sky Girl walked over to Spunky Man and leaned over the big table to look at the large piece of paper Spunky Man had spread over it.

"This is an awfully big map of the villians hideout, Spunky Man," Sky Girl said, obviously impressed.

Spunky Man smiled at Sky Girl and said "Yeah, it took us four whole years to compile this map."

After several minutes of reaching across the table in order to point something out, Sky Girl reached to point out a place that might be suitable to watch from, when her hand lightly brushed Spunky Man's arm. Sky Girl glanced over at Spunky Man to see if he had noticed, and when she found he was staring right back at her, her cheeks grew pink and she lowered her eyelashes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean t" Sky Girl was silenced by Spunky Man putting his finger to her lips.

Spunky Man looked Sky Girl in the eyes and said, "Sky Girl, I have a confession to make. I think I've fallen madly in love with you."

Sky Girl's face turned bright red and she mumbled something about how she had loved him since she was 6 years old.

Spunky Man's face light up when he realized he wasn't going to be rejected, and he softly carressed Sky Girl's cheek.

Sky Girl leaned towards Spunky Man, and their lips met.

It was the most Earth Shaking, Knee Buckling, OhGoodLordDontStopDontStop, TakeMeNowOhBaby, World Shattering, Heart Pounding, Breath Taking kiss either of them had ever experienced.

At that very moment Mr. Adorable entered the room and coughed loudly. Sky Girl and Spunky Man scrambled apart from each other and their faces turned bright red.

"We were just uh... We were, that is to say... We" stuttered Spunky Man.

"We recieve a letter from someone anonymous, I thought you might like to open it." Mr Adorable said with a smirk.

Spunky Man took the letter from Mr. Adorable's outstretched hand and read it.

It said: Spunky Man,

     We will give you a clue to where we are going to do our evilness.  Go
to the Holiday Inn.  When you go in go to the counter and ask the lady there
to give you a key to room 112.  Go to room 112 at 12:00 pm tonight, and
there you will find the clue.

Signed, Kinky Boy, Girl Of Darkness, and Tonic Girl.

P.S. Come alone, Spunky Man.

"Hummm..." said Spunky Man, "this seems weird. Ok guys, I want you both to be outside and looking around the hotel while I am in room 112."

"Ok." Mr. Adorable and Sky Girl said in unison.

So later that night they all went to the hotel. Sky Girl stayed in the lobby while Mr. Adorable checked out the whole entire hotel.

When Spunky Man got to room 112, he opened the door and walked in. It was really dark except for a small red night light in the corner. The door closed behind him. Then he heard a voice.

"Hello Spunky Man."

"Who is that? Whose there?" said Spunky Man nervously.

"Come closer..." said the sexy voice. He walked slowly towards the voice in the still very dark room.

"Show yourself!" he said. There was a snap of fingers, and the red light got brighter, now the room glowed a dark dim red but light enough to see that Girl Of Darkness was laying on the bed, in a very sexy looking like manner.

"Helloooo Spunky Man." Girl Of Darkness drawled. Spunky Man could not do anything but stare with wide eyes and an open mouth. But then he brought himself to his senses.

"Why did you want me here?" asked Spunky Man. Girl Of Darkness got up off the bed and walked over to Spunky Man. When she did so, Spunky Man got to see her and what she was wearing. Though he did not speak anything, I bet you could imagine what was going on is his mind.

"Why did you send for me to come here?" asked Spunky Man, again. She looked deep in to his eyes, he could feel her doing so, like she was looking for something. Her cat-like eyes where hypnotizing, he could do nothing but stare into them. But then he saw something in them, he had no idea what it was but when he saw it she turned her head as if someone had slapped her.

Then she grabbed him, pulled him over to the bed, and pushed him on it. He backed up on it, surprised by her strength. She jumped on him and started to kiss him and strip him of all of his clothing except his underwear. This, of course, aroused him so he gave into her.

After like 2 minutes of that she grabbed some really heavy rope on the table and grabbed his hands and feet and tied all four of them to all four bed posts. Then she just stood there looking at him, gave him one last kiss that could make any one weak in the knees and went out of the window.

You could barely guess what kind of confusion was going throught his mind at that moment. Then he waited for someone to come and help him. 10 minutes later Mr. Adorable And Sky Girl came in.

"What happened to you?!" they both shouted.

"I have no idea." he said. They both untied him and let him get back into his clothes.

"What clue did you find?" asked Mr. Adorable.

"Hummm" said Spunkey Man, "Nothing really."

They all walked out of the room totally confused. Then when they got out side they heard a really loud "BOOOOOOM!!!"

"Hey!" said Sky Girl, "That came from the bank!" All of them ran over to the bank, and what they saw was not pretty. The bank hade been robbed and a bunch of diamond stores had ben robbed as well, and there was not a trace of who did it.

But Mr. Adorable said "Hey! I know who did this! It was those evil do-ers!"

"Yeah," agreed the other two, "Let's seek out and stop these evil do-ers!"

...Meanwhile, The EVIL-DOERS were running around with Diamonds in their underpants. It was very difficult for Kinky Boy, since his thong was made of fishnet, the diamonds kept falling out. But they ran as far and as fast as they could. Suddenly, they came to a dead end. They feared that they would soon be caught.

"FEAR NOT, FELLOW EVIL-DOERS!" yelled a voice from high above.

They looked down, and what did they see? A Bat Mobile! Except, this was no Bat Mobile... this was the Ultimate Evil Mobile. The one who yelled rolled down the window, and it was none other than TED, DRESSED IN A HABBIT!

"Aaaaah, Penguin Boy!" Kinky Boy, Tonic Girl, and Girl of Darkness said in unision.

"Oh boy oh boy!" said Ted, the Evil Nun Penguin Boy. "Jump in!"

He got out of the car and flipped the seat forward so the other three could scramble into the back. And scramble, they did. Tonic Girl tripped over Girl Of Darkness's whip, Kinky Boy sat on Tonic Girl's lap (and squished her) and Girl Of Darkness twisted her ankle while trying to walk on her 7 inch heels.

They rode through the night, the evil doers making jokes and everyone nursing their sore spots (ankles, faces, butts and legs). Soon, they reached Ted's Lair.

The giant garage doors opened and he drove his car right over the cliff. It landed on a large matress, bounced around for a while and stopped. Everyone jumped out and they were greeted by more Nuns. Each nun pulled their head dresses off after a while (because they weren't orthodox nuns) and they all had BLUE HAIR!

Back at the ranch, Sky Girl, Mr. Adorable and Spunkey Man were working on their next move...

"Hummm," Said Mr.Adorable. "What are we going to do next? Hey Sky Girl, Have any thing good?"

Sky girl looked up from day dreaming about Spunkey Man and her self.... (Well I am not going to go into details).

"Ummm..." said Sky Girl. "Well, we need to find them, first. Just in case they get away, we should put a tracker on them."

"Good Idea," said Spunkey Man. "Now all we need to do is find them..... Where would they be?"

"Let's go out and serch," said Mr.Adorable.

So their searches began...

Now, back at the Evil Ted's Lair, the Evil do-ers were cooking up some.......Evil.

"So Where are we going to strike next?" said Tonic Girl.

"Hummm," Said Kinkey Boy. "I know! We should go steal a Private Jet, Go and Rob a lot of Banks throughout the U.S. and then go to some remote Island and Live like Kings!... and when we need suplies we can just fly are Jet to the nearist town."

"Hey," said Girl Of Darkness, "What if we want to do Evil? I crave and Live for Evil! I need Evil!"

"Ok then," said Kinkey boy. "You can fly the Jet In to Town And Do Evil when you need to do Evil.

"Ok." said Girl Of Darkness, as she was Hiperventalating....

So they started to work out there plan of Evil!......

But before they could work out their plan of evil, Girl of Darkness collapsed.

Everyone gasped and just stared at her.

Ted yelled, "WELL DO SOMETHING!"

They looked at Ted, they looked at Eachother, and ran to Girl of Darkness to see what was the matter.

Fiona, a psychic girl with powers to read the minds of others, touched Girl of Darkness's head to see what was going on in her mind. She sighed.

"She doesn't know what to do... She's overwhellmed. She wants to be with Spunky Boy, but she wants to do evil... and she can't decide which. Typical case of the evil do-ers."

Back w/ the super heros.. They where in there spiffy car tring to track down the evil do-ers. Sky Girl was in the back Spunkey Man was droveing and Mr. adorable was next to him. Mr. Adorable. Spunkey man said. Yes? Mr. Adorable said. Do you think you could drive for a while? My hand is getting cramped. Sure said Mr. Adorable. So spunkey Man traded spots w/ Mr Adorable. After like 10 Minets of sitting shot gun Spunkey Man said I wish I could strech out. Hey Sky Girl Do you mind if I strech out back there with ...you? Sure said Sky Girl with a gleem in her eye. So Spunkey Man streched out backin in the back seet w/ Sky Girl. After a few Minets They found them self in a tangel web of wonderful tasty kissis! ......

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