Once Upon An Emma

The desert sun beat down on Emma's exposed head, the beads of sweat getting in her eyes, blinding her like the sun. Where was he? She couldn't remember much about the car crash, just the sounds. She shuddered despite the scorching heat and shook her head. No, she wouldn't remember that now...later; right now she had to find Evan.

She turned to Roya, who was massaging a shoulder which was rapidly bruising. "Where's Evan?" She said, trying to keep her voice calm. Roya looked up, concern starting to grow in her eyes. j"i don't know" said Roya, her forhead wrinkling. "I don't remember anything after the car flipped over." Emma swallowed. She turned to look out at the sand, rocks, and joshua trees. She didn't see anything moving. Except for the clusters of rocks scattered along the horizon, she didn't see where he could have gone. She turned to Roya and nodded over her shoulder. Roya nodded. They started walking...

Suddenly the sky grew dark and they heard a high pitched squeeling! A single speck of blue light grew out of the west. It came closer... and closer... until Emma's hair was being blown by the wind of it's coming and her eyes were watering in the blue light. It was a space ship! A regular UFO!!!

It settled in front of the two girls, and a ramp slowly opened from it's side... Out of it came three black robed-and-hooded figures, holding a body.

"It's Evan!" whispered Roya.

Sure enough, the body was Evan. Emma almost started forward, but recoiled in horror when the blackrobed figures put back their hoods!

They were green!!! And they had pointy ears and large growths upon their forehead. But the scariest thing about them was...

They looked like Ryland, Ted, and Becky!!!

"We are the Nuns" they intoned in unison.

jEmma's heart felt like it would leap out of her chest, she was so horrified. She tried to run, to scream, but she was frozen in her place, she couldn't move a muscle.

"Get her." The alien-nun who looked like Becky said to the alien-nun who looked like Ryland. Ryland advanced on Emma, then picked her up like she was a sack of potatoes, and carried her back to the spaceship. Ted was sniffing the air.

"I smell....someone else." He said after awhile.

Becky paused and sniffed too, then shook her head. "She's run, it would take us too long to get her back. Time is precious, come!"

And with that, they all went up the glowing neon ramp up into the spaceship.

The alien who looked like Ryland carried Emma into a bright white room, full of ominous, shiny metal equippment, and a white bed-like thing that looked suspiciously like an opperating table.

Ryland set Emma down on the table, even though she tried to kick and fight, but her limbs were still paralized.

Then Becky came over to her, with her disgustingly green face, and said softly "Emma, you know we'd never do anything to hurt you, don't you? Never ever. But with the information you have, we just cannot risk it to leave you in your current form."

"WHAT??" Emma found that her voice had returned. "WHO are you, WHAT are you, and WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME??????!!!!"

Becky sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry Emma." She said, and she really did look sorry, as sorry as an alien can look that is, but she turned to Ryland and Ted and said "prepare the transformation process." Becky put her ugly green hand on Emma's forhead and said softly "You really left us with no choice Emma. You just knew too much, and you're not on our side. Who knows what would have happened if...they had gotten ahold of you? This is our only option. We've got to turn you into a Pekinese."

Emma's heart froze. She screamed with all the air in her lungs, with all the might in her body, but it did no good. The aliens just tsked tsked to each other.

Then Becky stepped away from the table, and Ted held up a syringe filled with an odd, orange liquid. The last thing Emma remembered was the sight of Ted's disgusting green countenence hovering over her, while the needle slipped into her vein. She felt an odd tickling sensation and suddenly she felt something start growing out of her skin. She looked down and her whole body was covered with brown fur!!! She tried to speak and yell for help but all that came out was a series of short yips.

Ted, Ryland and Becky smiled happily at Emma. "It worked just like I thought it would!" said Becky to Ryland. But their good moods were cute short by a ripping sound coming from the outside of the spaceship. Everyone's heads jerked up, and they stood tensely for a long moment before Ryland quietly walked to the doorway of the room and peered around the edge. Suddenly Ryland screamed in a high pitched voice that sounded very like a 5 year old little girl. "Ryland!" Becky and Ted cried in unison, and dove toward the door, just as Ryland sank slowly to his knees, bowing his head in syncophantic adulation.

Rick was standing on the threshold, giggling maniacally. "Boink!", he declared as he held up a small chunk of source code. "This will stop Wiki pages from showing on any computer with 'Erdman' in the username!" Ryland, already deep into his third kowtow, clearly was not listening. Rick frowned. He was far too accustomed to having Nick in the house, and to have sarcasm pass totally unnoticed was disconcerting.

Emma was yapping frantically from somewhere under the table. Recognizing the pattern to her barks, Rick tried to recall his Morse Code. He cursed himself inwardly for favoring bike stories over eagle scoout lessons when Davin was around.

Rick finally understood the message Emma was getting at. It seemed to be "Silk!"

Thinking quickly, he grabbed the doormat and covered his paisley-covered purple silk shirt. Ryland's eyes slowly refocused and he stopped kowtowing. Becky and Ted were still frozen in mid-leap. It appeared that their eyes had met and all further motion had ceased. Somewhere off in the distance, a buzzard croaked.

All of a sudden, Becky blinked, breaking eye contact with Ted, and they both went crashing to the ground. Ted, being the acrobat he is, decided he was gonna' do a cool flippy thing to get up, but when he tried to get up, he smashed down to the ground again. Becky started laughing at him, and said "You loser! Even I can do that!" and she went to get up, but she smashed down to the floor again, too. This made Ted start laughing at her.

Emma, meanwhile, was still under the table barking, and Ryland was trying to tear up Rick's shirt for some reason. All of a sudden, a piece of limburger cheese fell from the sky, and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the cheese laying in the middle of the floor... ...add more...