One Two Nine Eight

 is it okay to cry yet?
 holding myself together like a 
 gathering up me in a basket
 with a bow atop
 shards of nothing, waiting to be burned into vain gloryous ash

 can i cry yet? 
 or do you remain
 still
 breathing that awful frightening breath in the darkness
 (is it frightened? or frightful? she would afterwards ask herself)

 or do you remain 
 there

 i smiled
 washed you away with my tears
 and didn't wake up with you on my lips
 for a change

 i never knew you.

~raina~