Power Shuffle

The power shuffle.

First off, not everyone feels the power shuffle is a good thing. A few people find it really, really hard, and of little benefit. Others find it a tad stupid. There's not a lot of those people, but their opinion is right, for them at least. For me, it was absolutely incredibly intense. On very, very few occasions have I cried that well. A handful of times.

The format is that everyone crowds into one half of a room. That's the "No" side. A person is the caller. They read the questions.

• Are you male? ... Please notice who is standing with you, and who across. Thank you.
• Are you female? .... Thank you.

They go from there. Start easy. Each question, if you answer yes, you move to the other side of the room. You return after "Thank you".

• Do you believe in god?
• Do you consider yourself Buddhist?
• Do you consider yourself Christian?
• Do you consider yourself ______? ... Thank you.

You can't cross only halfway, really. The middle is too indefinate. you can cross for any question, though. For me, that's powerful. Being able to answer "yes" to conflicting things. Life has conflicts like that. Clashing truths, I think.

• Do you consider yourself homosexual?
• Do you consider yourself bisexual?

There's tears. Silent hugging. The general rule is no talking, but it's just generally agreed upon. Occasional quiet whispers to someone crying. Sometimes a gasp of surprise, or relief. Tears of sympathy. Tears of sorrow. Tears of regret. Tears of shame, tears of releif at admitting something, to themselves, or to friends, or to just have it come out again, pulling something rpressed out into the light of day (or at least the dim of the room), and solemnly cleaning the skeletons out of the closet.

• Have you ever been sexually abused?
• Have you ever sexually abused someone?

It goes on. Fifty quetions? Sixty? I don't remember the number that we had the last time. It was well crafted. Dawn and Jake and Forest spent six hours writing the list.

• Have you ever had an eating diorder?
• Do you have an eating disorder?

Respectful. At all times. Ask before touching someone. Hug only if they want to be hugged. Do not tease. Ever. It doesn't leave the room. That is, casual conversation about the powershuffle doesn't happen, at least not often. Solemn. If nobody crosses, "Please notice who is not with us today. Thank you."

• Have you answered truthfully tonight? ...

Oh, wow, Rick, that's gorgeous. Nice writing.

On behalf of Tessa and myself, I'd like to mention that you may want to be ~selective in who you talk to after the power shuffle, because the connections you make don't go away.. -Robyn, who is only being mildly serious

• Marina agrees. Totally.
• i agree 100%. i would love to do the power shuffle some day. but right now im not hard enough. rick would be perfict for it...

who really misses the power shuffle tonight

I'm still not sure I understand everything about this but I have a better idea.-Ren

wow.. that sounds powerful and intense.. i can totally see why everyone gets something different out of it, and why some people hate it and others really find it important.

but that's not what i was meaning to write here this description of the power shuffle reminds me of something i saw on a news show for kids (Nick News) about a camp that a young woman started. it's about racism, classism, ageism, and all the 'isms. it's pretty amazing to make a camp about that sort of thing (i think it's called Camp Anytown, but i'm not sure.) they showed footage of something they do there where someone asks questions like "have you ever been harrassed because of the color of your skin?" or "do you get enough to eat every day?" for certain questions, if you answered yes or no you had to take a step forward or a step back. it made a lot of people cry, both the people at the front of the group and the back. the people at the front had more advantages in life and were usually white. i think that sort of thing would make me cry for days.

(mari)

i was thinking about the power shuffle. it reminded me of this episode of south park i saw the other day. where all the kids in town, called the police and said that their parents had molested them. and all there parents went to jail. and when they came back from jail, they had all gone through serious consiling.. so much so, that they thought they really had molested their kids... and they came back and were all crying and apologizing.

this is like the power shuffle becuase i guess i feel like if your not a child molester to start with, you come out thinking you are. (metophore, kids. metaphore.) and i think that maybe if you do have shit to work out. that it's great. but if your farly honest with yourself, and others... then in general it just makes you think that stuff thats not really an issue to you... should be. uhm. yes.

i'm not saying that if you get anything out of it your fucked up. i guess i'm just saying that it was an experience the first time. and after that, well. it was just rehashing shit that i had long gotten over.

(i reserve the right to retract any or all of this comment, if someone points out that it's dumb. *grin*) -Cory (who has no plans whatsoever to do the power shuffle this year, no matter what anyone says.)

• cory, i totally hear that. props for saying it. wb.
• Yah, I agree with that. I'm wondering if I should do it again this year or not, because last year I felt like I got so caught up in it that I ended up "saying" things that I know aren't true. I'd also like to point out that the closeness that you get from it isn't really a permenant thing. I don't know. It wasn't permanant for me, anyway. I felt really close to everyone for a few hours, but it didn't last... I don't think you can bond with anyone via tears and vague assumptions, with nothing solid under that. Do I make sense?
• You make a lot of sense... For me it wasn't the power shuffle itself that was bonding at all, it was finding someone to talk to afterwards and ramble about the things I realized about myself and hear what they had to say... basically, bonding the way any bond gets made, the power shuffle is just the occasion.

I think it was a really good experiance... once. The second time i did it i just got kinda board. But i HIGHLY recomend that you go at least once and try it out. It is a truly special experiance.

It's an important expirience to me each year I've done it... the first year because it was so intense seeing everyone else react... and first session '00 because it made me realize I had some things going on I hadn't admitted to myself. Second session... I'm not sure I'm glad I went. I mean, I can't think of anything else I'd rather have done, but I didn't get a huge amount out of it. I think this year I'm just going to keep in mind that the power shuffle isn't mandatory. And that I change a lot in a year.

I missed the power shuffle my first year of camp, but went to both last year. The first one was really amazing...I liked it a lot. The second one was nowhere near as good, of course, since I had just done it the week before! I realized during and after the power shuffle I had answered some questions incorrectly, but to me that doesn't invalidate the power shuffle or bother me in any way...for me, that's what it's about, making me think and probably change my mind about a few things. I was also glad to be there for my friends and grateful having them be there for me. - Emma