Radioactive Vermin

...and I'm not making this up...

They came to me last night. They talk to me. They tell me to do things. I can't say no, I tell you! They'll be after you next!

News from the front: "Small, green, puffy, floating hamsters/gerbils have been seen flying through various highways throughout the country... we think (though we have no absolute evidence) that this is a by-product of Bush's environmental record [or lack there of]. The rodents [exact species has been as of yet undetermined] have been noted as dangerous and possibly armed. Of course, finding a gerbil with opposable thumbs is just the type of thing you would stumble across in Texas. So next time you run into a hamster with two heads, a bright green glow about, and levitating 4 feet above ground, say hi, pat it on the head, check for firearms [thumbs?] and run like hell."

They're planning an attack at camp! Come prepared!

No! I haven't been talking to them. You have. Whatever they told you- Lies! ALL LIES! Don't believe a word they tell you.