Seven Nine Nine

 how many times has someone asked me how i am
 asked me how it's going
 and i turn to them and smile
 and say "it's okay"
 when it's fucking well not

 i'm not okay
 i'm not sure if i've ever been
 
 of course there were minutes
 and hours and days and weeks
 when life was damn good
 and i honestly believed that everything would work out
 but really, have things ever been
 fundamentally okay?

 (it's a long, long getaway...
 and i can't afford a ticket)

 i want to scream for help
 but the only people in ear shot
 couldn't do a thing about it
 couldn't understand it
 and the only people who could
 i refuse to ask
 as always

 i will not bother anyone
 i will keep it all inside
 i'd rather not learn
 if i'd be caught if i fell
 so i'll fall in silence

 i've never been good at asking for things
 so many times i've wanted to
 but never did
 i don't want to waste your time

 you've told me you'd be there
 if i ever needed you
 well, i need you
 but lo and behold
 i cannot say a word
 i will not say a word

 even though i'm dying tonight

 Jauss