Washing Floors

                -How to Wash a Floor-[1] 

Equipment

      Ice cream, as much as you can eat in an afternoon 
      Chopsticks 
      Mop 
      Hot water 
      Poetry 
      Bare feet 
      Music tape from some dear soul living far far away 
      Time 

Pre washing floor activities

• Banish all gene pool members from the room.
• Dish yourself a large cup of ice cream. Prepare to eat the ice cream with chopsticks. This is important.
• Remove all large obstacles from the floor, killer dust bunnies, pet dish bowls, babies, growing fungi, old socks, etc.
• Run a large container of hot water, with some variety of household cleaner dumped in. Be sure to choose a brand that agrees with your general political and social alliances. (or lack of them)

To Wash A Floor

Splash water completely over the floor. Be sure to get the doorways and entrances, so that if you are interrupted you may simply pronounce "I am washing floors! go away!" and be left in peace. Do not mind if you are stranded on the only dry place on the whole floor, staying dry is not the point.(Nor is getting the floor particularly clean.) Put as much water as you can on the floor without warping, cracking, or wrecking it.

    Move the water around a bit with your big toe and the very end of the
mop. Eat a large mouthful of ice cream. Really scrub at the floor, put your
whole back into it. Float up most of last years science experiments. Read a
whole poem[2] out loud, pronouncing each word to the large puddles of water
in front of you. Repeat all the good parts of the poem. Eat more ice cream.
Get your feet completely wet. Scrub more of the floor, and mop up some of
the puddles. 

Repeat from beginning as desired.

Best done on a sunny friday afternoon in late July when it is only another month till camp and everything feels well in the world. -Dawn

[1] If you have carpet in your kitchen, I weep for you. Not only are you not able to enjoy the pleasure of washing a floor, but in the carpet you are probably restarting evolution. [2] ee cummings works well. Something very chaotic and weird, a poem you will not understand the first time, so that you are forced to only enjoy the words instead of the idea represented within it.