Who Is Noam

Noam is compassionate, spiritual, honest, analytical [1] ... but there's so many parts of myself other people don't see, that I don't let other people see. I feel at times like I've developed a false reputation as being this very honest, good, moral person. If only people really knew me, they wouldn't think I was such a good person. There's all the scary parts and the things I don't like about myself... at other times, those descriptions fit me well, because I am caring, and try to be spiritual, and honest.. just not all the time. As for the analytical part, that fits me most of the time I'm always analysing my behaviour and stuff around me; I like to figure out how things work. Occasionally it gets irritating, either because I start analysing things that are better appreciated without being overanalysed, or because I'm too analytical and other people don't understand my way of thinking. generally, I find being analytical works well for me.

I've been described as ~socially oblivious... I don't pick up on what's going on without being told. I was really surprised when I was told that.. I didn't pick up (heh.. speaking of not picking up..) on that view of me at all. Most of the time, I do get what's going on.. but I tend not to trust my instinct and want to make sure my assumptions are right.

One thing that's been bothering me lately about being labelled is a friend at college who considers me more moral and upright than I feel I am, or have the right to call myself.. thinking on that I feel like maybe I'm portraying a false face to the world. Mmm... I try to live up to how different people think I am. That occasionally gets ackward if I'm around two people who have quite different views of me... for that matter, I tend to keep my communities seperate. people in one community know certain things about me, and don't know about some of my other communities, or the faces I show to them. I pretend to be different people to be most comfortable or to please friends in different groups.

I'm often quite uncomfortable in social situations with people I don't know well, and don't know what to say or do, and probably come across as... cautious, or self-centered, or shallow. I'm really not sure sometimes what face I present to the outside world.

I'd appreciate if people want to share their views of me.. post anonymously if you'd prefer..

[1] NoaMy