Why Am I Still Here

i have asked myself this many times: and sometimes still do. thats right suicide... i want this page to be for those that need reasons to not kill them selfs... so say what is special about life in general. like

the smell of flavors
rain
baby kittens.... you know.

now its you turn, tell ppl that are really close to suicide what is great and worth living right here. you never know the differentcs you can make.

Heather

in memory of all my friends that have fought for there LIVES from suicide. for all the tears people won't let fall. for all the people that are so close to suicide they can feel the knife blade agents there skin. wherever you are we all love you. may you be blessed in everything you do.

i used to really struggle with this. one night a few years ago the only reasons i could think of were my unfinished manuscript and the beautiful river in my hometown. and that was enough. i'm here, aren't i? :)

judy grahn has a great quote, something to the effect of: "you are my reason for living. it is for you i open my eyes each morning and close them each night. and if i didn't have you, i'd find another reason."

in memory of all my friends that have fought for there LIVES from suicide. for all the people that are so close to suicide they can feel the knife blade agents there skin. wherever you are we all love you. may you be blessed in everything you do.

the sound of rain.

for the chance, slim and sure, that things will geet better. maybe they won't. but there is ALWAYS a chance. Always always always.

Do you RenemBerR?

Because things get better. Even things you don't believe can. Because you are alive. You can see and touch and smell and taste and hear and...sense. (and even if you can't do some of these, you can still do some of these, and that matters.)

museums full of paintings you can look at all day people going about their lives photographs places to travel chocolate mmm, raspberries! mmm, or better, chocolate covered raspberries hugs, and kisses and caresses and.... Cats dinner good poetry ditto for music love peace beauty truth....

because here you are. And sometimes this is very very good, and it will be again

little things that aren't so little. smiles, puddles, 5-year-old hugs, seeing a friends face as you're getting off a train/bus/plane/car/boat/etc, gel pens, people who kiss in the middle of the street and don't care who's looking, people who are there for you... somewhere... cause there always are. mornings.

Well, I wrote my story about suicide here, but I decided it would be better for ConqueringAHardBattel, but I do want to put something here, so I'll put some reasons to live.

Have you ever spent time in a cafe totally bummed out? There are all these people roaming around you, reading, interacting, shouting, and you know they don't know you and they don't care about you, but you love them anyway. You love to watch them, because they are so beautiful. But still, you don't feel so great. You're alone, even surrounded by these crowds. And then something happens so small that it only matters to you. It wouldn't belong in a movie, it wouldn't grip you in a story, but it happens and somehow it saves your life. When a song you like comes on the radio, or a familiar person walks in the door, or the light streams in from the window at just the right angle, or you remember a line from a poem, and it gives you a wonderful warm feeling that everything is okay and you just want to dance and shout it out to everyone how beautiful everything is!! One of many reasons to live.

Eire

warmth (the kind that goes inside-out), big puffy clouds, songs that make me sing involuntarily and weep like a lover, bracelets that sparkle, boys with soft lips, joygasms, finger-nail clippers, friends who can finish your sentances, clothes that make you feel sexy, being effortlessly and randomly happy, waking up next to someone, christmas lists, sentimental junk jewelry, tasting someone elses breath, comparing hand sizes, drawing what you're feeling, warm wool socks, reaching the mountain top, taking bubble baths, being in love with who you are. i'm happy.

                                   -moth

Inside jokes. Looking someone in the eyes, making a connection, and then you both smile, and know you shared something, even if you don't know who they are. Small children running around carefree in the grocery store. Long walkes in the cold, but somehow you're so happy that you can't be cold. The power of decision. Having something come to you, and being able to write or draw it down, or play it out in music. Being proud of a performance well-done. There are so many reasons. Life is fantastic. I'm not against death (quite to the contrary), I just think there is so much to live and so much about life to love. Death is a whole other story. Erin

Bach's first piano concerto. That's the only reason I can think of right now. -courtney

Chances. (oh damme that just makes my blood quiver within my soul.)

Perplexions. (living fighting dreaming. don't you dare tell me you know what it's all about already. even if you do, there's more.)

People that run up to you in the hallways (yes now I've been to school. I hate it. I love people however) and hug you or tell you to smile and you don't even know them! And if there isn't anyone like that in the whole world, YOU can be the first. Invent it.

Poetry, making poetry out of your very life.

Washing dishes. What is it about washing dishes, that heals the soul? Like Gardening.

... What if you're DyIng though?

are you?

Music
Friends

-Zen

Male friends
Drumming and sound in general (music, ambient sounds, Techno, everything)
Skateboarding
Those special grrls
Standing outside and listening to the silence or the birds or the grass and feeling the sun and the peacefulness of it. Cept fer now cause it's fuckin cold out. But things like that.
My will

 And all the trash that needs to be emptied in the world. ? -Sperk

cookie dough
rain dancing
yelling because you want to
running
snow storms
poetry
words
family
thumpy crushy feelings
baths
sunflowers
clothes that smell like outside from the clothsline
meeting new people
stories that no one but you knows.

-franny

lack of anything better to do. </dramaqueen>

i'm still here because of you.

jessica

Why am i still here? maybe becuz of my family but they wouldn't know if i was there or not maybe bbecuz i want to see my sister have a good life maybe becuz i want to know what its like to grow up maybe becuz i want to live but then again why? why am i still here for? i know i'm not going to have the person i love and i know no one loves me or cares about me. why am i still here these not a reason for me to still be here so why am i?

to kill god in his sexy coming. and by sexy I mean second.
to play the drums.
to make myself happy without the need for other people that I fucking love so much but I can't live without them....
to cry.
to hate.

 
 
 The reasons i live are my friends, without them i spose id be a quivering
heap in the corner. They are always there for me and make me realise that my
life is actually worth living. The fun times and the sad times, but theyre
always there. to share those special moments, like seeing a rainbow after
the rain, or when a butterfly lands on you, when you have a big secret you
have to tell some one and when you do you feel happy. To laugh with, to cry
with, to hug and to smile.

My friends are the reason i live. Amy