Why Does Life Matter Anymore

everyone says life is a blessing. you're blessed you're alive. you're blessed to wake up every morning. i say life is a curse. life is just an endless hassle of problems and sadness. sure there's times of happiness. but i keep coming back to this place where i'm depressed and nothing matters. i haven't been here for a long time. i thought i wasn't depressed anymore. and now i go to my dad's house and i'm back. and i have to go there every week for the rest of my life becuz i quit school. i can't handle his guilt trips and all the other shit he gives me. but i have to go back or else he'll call me up and cry to me about how much he misses me and how he thinks he's losing me. he thinks he's losing me to "urban life" and he cussed out my mom for raising me badly. just cuz she let's me live my life he gets pissed. i asked him if i could go to a friends house while i was there. he yelled at me and said i should be spending time with him. he's down on his stupid farm while i sit alone in the house, and he considers that 'time with him.' he has some strange comfort in knowing that i'm up in the house, bored as fuck. as long as i'm there. and i hate it there. it's so depressing. this is the house i grew up in, and this is the house where my mom told him she was leaving. this is the house where she told him we were moving to folsom together. and this is the house where i am now, depressed and lonely. this house is a curse, just like my life is a curse.

• Hey, please email me if you feel up to it. emma at members.limitless.org Emma

~well here i am a couple hours after writing this...sorry for the depressing bitch ppl...but this is how my dad makes me feel. i get over it as soon as i get back home, but i always have to go there next week. plz don't think i really am going to kill myself or anything, this is just how depressed i get when i'm with him. peace out ~kymi~

• You don't need to apologize. . . depression's as valid an emotion as any other, even if it fades after you express it. Wiki's a pretty open place. *smiles* There's a lot of room here for mood swings.

okay thanx..i'm used to other message boards where ppl respond to something like this with...'shut up no one cares.' so ya..thanx for the support! ~kymi~

• I, for one, would be shocked if anyone replied like that here. *grins* Bitch away... god knows we do it enough.