"Evil monkeys look cooool.." - Rob, brother of Dan "Just because I'm dating you doesn't make me a lesbian." -Mel, talking to Luke "See, the thing is though, every time I go there, I'm tempted to get books..." "Hey! It's.. Jesus or something!" -Fiona, sitting in front of the TV, looking very happy "You mucus transaction!" ~Colleen, Carrie's sister "Kim. Get your nose out of my armpit." "That was not your armpit." "Yes, yes it was." ~Alissa, Kim's sister, en converstion with Kim "I just hate it when the little voices inside my head argue with eachother." ~Emma "I'm not insecure, I'm just right!" "It's just like sucking on a big popsicle!" -one of Fiona's mom's friends Ali: "*cradling her hand* Ow ow ow, a thousand times ow..." Fiona: "what the hell is that? Shakespeare after a brick drops on his head?" "would you really be turned on when you see scooby doo?" "You gotta sneeze like you meen it!" ~Ted "I'm an independent sneezer." Ryland approaches Ted from behind with a chair, looks like he's going to hit him, then decides not to Ted: "I thought you were going to hit me with that chair." Ryland: "No" Ted: "Why not??" Ryland looks puzzled Ryland: "I don't know." "Mommy, roya hit me with my own eggplant! the Eggplant Of Dooooomm" Rosie, RoyaBoya's little sister "But he's a sexy rat!" "Hey! If you two kiss one more time..." -Leeann, Kathleen's co-worker, talking to the carmel apples. <sam> it would just be against my morals not to raise hell.Zack: "Hey, did you hear about the dyslexic sadist who sold his soul to Santa?" Will (Zack's roommate): "Um... oh, yeah, I thinking I'm sharing the rent with him!" Luke: "...Only if you have cardiac arrest." Mel: "I could have cardiac arrest." Luke: "No you couldn't." "...it'll stay where it should as long as my tounge can contain its excitement at once again having something to play with" "I've learned lots of lessons, I've learned too damn many lessons! The real question is which of them have made me wise and which have just made me bitter!" -zack "Half the presure, twice the speed" - a pencil zack has... I don't know quite what sounds wrong about that, but something does... "I happen to know what your problems are, Roya, and they're not normal." -Tenay "We don't get any details on the men in the tub?!" -Tenay Marina: "I think it's about a big, long... hippo." Tenay: "Ah, a big long hippo... I love to hear those words..." "Thrust thrust thrust... repeat." -Tenay "Speaking of goats that don't exist..." -RoyaBoya "*plays with her bunion*" "I can flex my boobs!" -Victor, talking to Jessica "It's a turning point in your life when you have more hair on your face than on your butt." Ethan M.'s uncle Jerry. Fiona's mom:"I know 3 people who like giving blow jobs. And they aren't your aunts. Or your uncles. And I really haven't brought up the subject with your grandmother Robinson [my dad's mom]" Fiona: "Well, why don't you ask her next time we're over there for dinner?" "hey, why's there that space between them? oh, no wait, it's her legs" -a cirkid "Five balls, no tongue!" "The oldies stations all play the same songs because there's a finite number of oldies... after all, they aren't being written anymore." "a lot of people are obsessed with toes. i mean, there's this foot, and then there's fringe!" roxana (roya's sister) "uh oh, roya's obsessed with my underwear." marina "guys are humans too!!!" marina, explaining a revelation to roya "We can stop and start and do all those other things bands do." -Marina's Dad "I didn't know there was such a genre as sex-sceneless writing." -Robyn "You need to read some good smut, Robyn." -Tessa "I'm gonna' go do a Hobbit crunch." "right, the only side affect is keeling over dead, but death doesn't have any side affects, or does it?" "Oooh... Disney goes graphic porno!" "No, mom, Chris is NOT my boyfriend!" Jessica C. aka jekissa "Well, you can't have a boyfriend anyway, you didn't ask permission. And you didn't clean your room." Jessica's Mom, Anne Danopian's Brother Rob: "Hey, everyvbahdi! I'd like to announce that from now on, I'd like my name to be legally 'Bongo Jim!'" DansMom: "How about Bongo Bob?" DansDad: "Or Bongo Rob!" Rob: "Yeah!" Dad, solemnly: "allright, no longer will you be known as Rob; let it be known that you shall now be known as Bongo Rob!" "Casey's growing primordial ooze in my dining room!" -Fiona's mom "Wallmart is god!" HeeeresJonny: you and your wiki trotting HeeeresJonny: "Jessica Robinson: Wiki Trotter" HeeeresJonny: "ew, Jess is trotting all over the wiki..." HeeeresJonny: great, now I have to clean up Jessica trot... this is disgusting "HeeeresJonny: licking Zens isn't supposed to be a form of amusement!" "What ELSE can you do to a cat that begins with an 'f'? "And here's a picture of Ted wearing nothing but a foozball table." DanOpian: Think this song is charming or sexist? :-/ Fiona: Both. Dan: Interesting. *Pauses to doodle...* Fiona: *laughs* okay - about "both"... I'd think it was charming if I was a "California Girl", but as I'm not, I think it's sort of sexist. *grins* Dan: Oooh, so its a popularity/jealousy/elitism/creepy neo-facism thing then. Fiona: Thats about the gist of it, yes. Dan: Always wondered why they only sang about thier blue-eyed blonds. Damn Nazis. Fiona: Hmmm... I'll have to write something about that on my rant page. or we could send it to National Enquirer - I can see the headlines now... "New Evidence Points to Beach Boy Naziism!" or "Beach Boys Nazi Expos� ~Fiona commenting on 'California Girls' by the Beach Boys "I could talk for hours on a brick!" -Kathleens dad "But I like worrying!" "I have a strange fixation with Cheese" "He just had a fatal orgasm!" Ethan M. "it's fun to watch Billy Joel play with his butt!" -Ali "lick your own damn self!" -Selena "Yay! Underwear!"-Carolyn, Kathleen's sister "Boys are ducks!!!" "Hey little man! Get out of my pants! No... I'm serious- he's a womaniz- hey! Get out of my PANTS!!" -Lindsay, a friend of Fiona's "I fantasize about Lorin's nipples too if it helps any." "You can pervert anything if you try hard enough, and I'm going to bed." -Robyn "Hey, stop feeling up my mushrooms." -custemer to Tessa "Okay, um, I'll conjure up some dragons and you annoy them to death." Ryuuko, to Savage (two of Buzzy's Buzzys) "Repeate after me: 'gravity is my bitch.'" ~James, teaching hackysack. Robyn: "What a nice drawing Mel! But why is this man so much sadder than all the rest?" Mel: "Because the man next to him is pointing a gun at him." "err! it's so annoying! i'm obsessed with touching my legs now!" -jennyrose Kyra: "I love alien balls..." Emma: "Um, Kyra..." Kyra: "Because they're blue and you can suck on them!" "I'm glad I wore a shirt today!" "They shouldn't just blow up all that cocaine." "I am the chocolate in your microwave!!" marina to roya Wouldn't it be wierd to watch trees have sex? -Spike Wait.....Wouldn't it be cool if you parents were always on crack? -Matt H "as a general rule i like it when women tell me they'd die if i hadn't come." danny (royaboya's friend) "well my hands are warm! are yours?" danny again "i'm majoring in anal discharge" apryl, a csulb forensics coach "You're playing air guitar, Brent, You don't have to tell us when you screw up." -moth "Dude, get me a steak. NOW!" -IsaacV "I thumb kissed him and now he's taking his shirt off." "I would sacrifice myself to see a Mac explode." -Ted "Ted the pimp strikes again!" "your sanity's kind of cheesy" RoyaBoya to Kim W "If I had sanity, and it hid in a cookie jar, it would be getting lots of visits from me." Ted "Frankly, I don't think it's fair that I have to spend my money to preserve your sanity." Kim B to her dad "I love the sound of insanity in the morning." Kim W in the afternoon "Kim, you're the cheesiest!" RoyaBoya to Kim W "my hand is warm...who's shirt is it up?" RoyaBoya "there's a dog in my armpit!" RoyaBoya "It's our little Trio! Jay's the strange guy the walks weird, and Cory your the Tall skiny guy, and I'm the short cute guy!" -NickV "Hey how come you get to be a cute guy when I have to be tall and skiny and Jay has to be the strange guy??" -Cory "Becouse that's just how it goes Cory, I can't change it" -NickV "These kids... always pickling inappropriate objects." - Buzzy, in a severely deranged voice "How come you're so smart if you don't go to school?!?"
"How am I supposed to be an evil mazoku demon if you won't dry?" -Buzzy, talking to her nails "Man, being a nazi sucks..." "TedMarinaKimKim wants to work for the FBI." -Alyson Yeah, we take drugs at rock concerts... We take Ibuprofen. -Marina's Mom "I saw Ted in a cheerleader." "It's fun after you get started!" - Shippy, on having half a dozen children and a Jewish marriage "It's like, the 'chicken or the egg' of this part of the grocery buisness...oh god! I so didn't mean it that way!" -Tessa, talking about whether to pack eggs on the bottem or top of a grocery bag. I am not proud of the fact that I'm eating donuts, because they are fallen muffins, the poor muffin souls that have gone astray. But as I was driving by the donut place, they were calling to me. "Abandon your muffins, come eat usssss!", they cried. How could I ignore their pleas? -Katherine 'hey i dont get to slap you around with fake leather!' "This is my dog. He is happy, except when somebody puts a finger in his nose." Camilla (Charlie & Peter's li'l sister): Will, try the butt-warmer like this! Will (Camilla's friend): Nahh. When I do it like that, my penis sticks up. Camilla: I looked at your feet, and I was like "whoa, gorilla feet", 'cause gorillas have hands for feet, you know? Charlie: It's a good thing you didn't go whump into the tree and break your head open. Camilla: It happens a lot. Charlie: HEY! You're about to hit it head-first! Camilla: Good thing I was wearing a helmet! aol.rpm? Peter: I love those little fairies that come to clean out your earwax. Camilla: You mean cats? Camilla: I'm just giving my butt a massage. Camilla: We need a big spiky rat trap for you, Charlie. Camilla hearing about DontQuoteThat: Hey, that's great! You go to this website and Charlie's Stupidnesses start here (Please leave this at the bottom of the page so we can all ignore it) People are crazy. Luckily, I outnumber them. Go right ahead. I had a social conscience once too. Then I took it out in the woods and shot it, of course. Or am I thinking of my puppy? Morals are for people who can't make ethical decisions on their own. Except me. And everyone else. More naked girls, please! People who don't like techno simply don't appreciate the value of tastelessness. Yeah, I bet the Romans were really glad they didn't have violent television. Beware, for I am the S-Video cable strangler! Yaaah! Whiplash! All my best programming involves full frontal nudity. When I want my opinion, I'll ask you for it! Wum wum! Wum wum, blast it! I just don't do urine. It's probably an acquired taste. Well, not all roles rock. Inconsistancy is the hobgoblin of medium-sized minds. You know, duck tape My mother just got a Hotmail account What if you woke up, brushed your teeth, and suddenly All I ask of my hair is a little lovin'. I'm gonna have to work up the nerve to tell Shippy about Enigma and me. Why does everyone look at me funny when I wave big knives around? It's not like I'd ever Ahh, more poop culture. I mean pop culture. Actually, I mean poop culture. Uhhh, today's tip: when you mean "gentle giant", don't say "genital giant". Computer! Quit humping the filesystem! Let them eat small fluffy kittens! It just goes to show that many are called and some are chosen, but a few are knocked on the head with a blunt instrument, dragged into an alleyway, worked over with golf clubs and baseball bats, kicked in the teeth, stuffed in a bodybag, thrown over the back of a motorcycle, hauled cross-state, gaggeed, blindfolded, trussed, taken to a secret underground bunker, injected with a cocktail of strictly illegal drugs, and extensively interrogated. Shut up and talk! Breakfast of champions: lard! Bathroom grafitti helps me better understand the issues of the day. I voted for Bush. Do your brush-brushy thing, Mifter Toofbrush! The phrase "wisdom teeth" is misleading. That usage of "wisdom" is actually the only remaining example of the otherwise-dead Middle English word "wysdomme", or "so painful you almost black out". Ever feel synthes Hey, everything's humor when it's played twice as fast and an octave higher. The good thing about captial punishment is ... wait ... I forget. Perl? Good for two things: decrufting files and killing braincells. The gift that keeps on giving: 16.1 MB of prime numbers. Brain cells are good for many things. Like things. Stuff. Really, I don't do this on purpose. I wish I could mock new age music, but it?d be like peeing in the Amazon - one word: piranhas. Microsoft! What a pleasant surprise! Aaaugh! I had this horrible nightmare that George W. Bush was elected President and was going to spend billions of dollars on a massive missile-defense system, thereby provoking the people we supposedly need to be defended against and bringing about a second cold war! Wait.... Ahh, music to nourish the firmware. I mean soul. You know you're spending too much time around your computer when you have your very own 128-item list of signs that you're spending too much time around your computer. A Buddhist temple is like ... a Catholic rave. Well, sonny, you have to unnderstand that sometimes leaders jus' have to go ahead and lead. Why, bein' President ain't about winin' any popularity contests, is it, sonny? Leastways, not if you got good lawyers.... [1] *coughdevilcoughworshippercough* NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 3 times, last edited on February 13, 2002 by fiona@nbtsc.org. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
Robyn's dad Mark, on going to the library
