Fat Phobia

Fatphobia: Irrational fear or prejudice against people based on them being fat.

We all deal with it. We all have it inside us. We all suffer because of it. So let's talk about it.

How does Fatphobia affect your life?

Polls and Surveys:

In a 1977 study, half the landlords refused to rent an apartment to a fat applicant. All the landlords were willing to rent the same apartment to a thin applicant.

Fat women are twice as likely to enjoy sex and reach orgasm, compared to thin women according to a survey conducted by Weight Watchers Magazine.

Researchers placed two fake personal ads, one for a woman described as 50 pounds overweight and the other for a woman described as a drug addict. The drug addict received 79% of the responses.

I don't really have "Fatphobia." And I'm being honest, I have several fairly close friends that might be considered fat. I DO, however, prefer it for people I know as close friends to be medium weight only because mid-weight people tend to be more energetic for longer periods of time and don't physically stress out as fast, and they're healthier overall, which is so much easier on them and everyone around them. Also, mid-weights usually are less food-centered (a lot of overweight people I know, at least adults, talk volumes about their dieting life). And this is what I "suffer" from, because I wish that maybe they would at least change their eating habits a bit (without necessarily DIETING... I think the very concept of dieting is faulted) as a favor for themselves, to help them do the things they desire in life, without the difficulty of being very overweight. At 140 pounds, 5 feet 9 inches, I'm not overweight, so I can't speak for the overweight, but I sometimes think that people who are fat aren't listening to their bodies or eat in a vein similar to drinking alcohol... to dispell the stresses of life. This, I know is a lot of time true, and also because in today's culture, it's so easy to get virtually infinite quantities of high caloric food. Some people I know do not want to change their weight, they simply don't care. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I wish that they would care, for health's sake. Is this irrational? Is there anything I can do about it? I never want to say anything in fear of hurting someone's feelings.

-Luke

In response to Luke's post:

I think you just believe some stereotypes about people who are over what is considered "normal" weight. People who weigh a little more than what others think they should, commonly reffered to as fat people, don't have the same thoughts or reasons for being fat. Not everyone is fat or overweight because of eating too much all the time, either. Sometimes you might have gained weight a long time ago and it stayed (and because of your unique body type or genes, it might be harder for you to get rid of that weight), or you take medication that prevents you from losing weight. My mom has rheumatoid arthiritis and for years she was on prednisone, which has some awful effects on some people. Most people, like my mom, gain weight from it and/or have a very hard time losing weight while they're on the drug (I am not sure exactly why maybe someone here knows? but it really messes with your body...). Now that she's off it she lost a lot of weight, and fast. So you can't always control how big you are.

There are many people out there who are fat because of overeating, but I am still bothered by people making generalizations for all "overweight" people. (note: overeating isn't always a "choice", either. it's just as serious as anorexia or bulimia.) anyway, I think that it's ridiculous to expect for people to get to a certain "normal" weight, because everyone has different body types and some people are just born to be a little bigger than others. I think I read somewhere some doctor was reccomending that people diet less and worry more about accepting different body types instead. I agree. and to remind some of you all of some perspective, not all cultures hate fat people; just go to some parts of the world and see how mostly thin people are laughed at for being too skinny. It's the same thing.

this turned into a big post, but I felt I had to make that stuff known. I'm sorry if I seem like I am being rude or assuming things about you, Luke I actually appreciate your honesty and all.

-Mari

• I didn't mean to come across as making generalizations or anything like that. In fact, my post was strictly based on personal experience and not particularly on any majority. And certainly, it's true that there are disorders on the opposite end of anorexia, which are (I strongly believe) culture-influenced illnesses, and cannot be helped simply because of the world we live in. And I'm also aware that some medications make it almost impossible to burn off weight (Prednisone generally makes people gain weight through increased appetite due to metabolic changes and other changes). And I also recognize genetics that cause people to be naturally overweight. The kind of overweight I'm talking about is the kind that can be controlled, the kind that may be because of food pleasure, depression and that type. I was just expressing my concern about my friends (have two in particularly in mind) who have the greatest ideas for the future: communes, joint business ventures, road trips across the U.S... but I don't see how they would be able to handle even a small portion of that when they're approaching physical weight beyond a reasonable proportion for any person. It's not like I'm saying "You're fat, I'm better than you because I'm not." No, I'm just trying to say that sometimes I think there should be a limit and that people should respect their bodies a little more than they might be. And as a friend, I feel like I should help... or something.

-Luke

• Okay. I'm joining this discussion. So, you're saying that constant eating being used as a coping mechanism (for people who are depressed or otherwise) can be controlled? May I ask how? Because I know many, many people who eat when they feel bad, and they can't stop. They would love to, as you put it, respect their bodies a little more, but they can't. Eating is how they deal with things. Telling them to just stop, to have more respect for their bodies, would be like telling someone who cuts to cope to just stop for the same reason. It doesn't work that way. There are treatments, yes, but not everyone is ready to try a different way of coping. The reason why some people eat when they're sad is because it works for them. If it didn't work, they wouldn't do it. Some other way to cope may not make them feel as good as eating did, so they're not going to just switch. If you aren't ready to be treated and if you aren't willing to switch methods, then going through some program or getting some type of treatment won't do a damn bit of good. So it's no use just urging people to stop. Because it's never going to happen until they're ready for it to. And that can take a long time. -Katherine

• Exactly! I was trying to express that aspect of the topic, but wasn't doing very well at it. It's the fact that I know that eating can often be a coping mechanism that makes me feel like I want to help them with some other part of their lives, the one that stresses them out so much that it causes them to ignore their health in exchange for eating and comfort food (I do this all the time when I'm stressed). Weight gain, in most cases, I see as only the indirect cause of something deeper and more difficult, in perhaps the same way anorexia affects people. And because I know that they're not going to change the way they do things for a long time, until they're ready, at least, I just get mentally tied up as to what I should do as a friend. Nothing? Just talk to them and be their friend without any nosing? That's basically what I've been doing.

-Luke

may i remind you, luke, that saying "i'm not fatphobic, i have several "fat" friends" is like those people who say "i'm not racist, i have black friends." if you really looked at it enough to say "i have some fat friends so i must not be fatphobic," that's sort of being fatphobic, isn't it? someone can still be say, homophobic if they have gay or lesbian or even bi friends, can't they? just because you have friends that are fat, or gay, or black, or whatever, doesn't mean that you're not fatphobic, homophobic, or racist. just because you have friends who are women doesn't mean you're not sexist. glitterpixie

• I don't want to be afraid of saying "fat," because I don't see it as a derogatory term, but just a term for someone who's over what might be considered a healthy weight (I HATE it when people I love start having heart attacks at the age of 50.) But I'm NOT fatphobic. I look on it strictly as how the side effects of being overweight affect my relationship with someone on a physical and healthy level.

I don't see how this is fatphobic. Because on no level do I carry a phobia (Dictionary sez: 1. A persistent, abnormal, or irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid the feared stimulus. 2.A strong fear, dislike, or aversion)of overweight people.

-Luke

yeah... It's not fatphobia for some people. It's fat prejudice just carrying around assumptions, generalizations, or judgements about fat people. but I'm not accusing anybody here of having it if you have it you know who you are. i just wanted to point out how the word phobia is sometimes used when the word "prejudice" should be used, like homophobia. i think that a lot of times, people aren't literally phobic about something, but they are prejudiced on some level.

i don't think people are born with prejudices. so this fat prejudice is not only a part of our culture, but an effect. people shouldn't blame themselves for having a prejudice blaming yourself or feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help anything. i know that i have some fat prejudices to work out still, among others. but i also think that there has got to be some better way of teaching people that humans come in a lot of sizes and shapes, so we had all better get used to it and stop trying to squish ourselves or stretch ourselves into things we're not. i guess it's a matter of self-respect. (when you respect yourself you respect others.)

-Mari

I just gotta say, I think this is a really interesting page, and I respect what everyone has to say on here.

this is interesting. I never considered myself to be fatphobic at all. it didnt really bother me at all. I didnt even care about my own weight. but then all of a suddon I gained 5 pounds (5. that is small) its not like I became horrible unhealthy or overwieght but I phreaked out. I was all OH NO! I cant let this happen! and I started dieting. I have never been on a diet before in my life and I had gained 5 pounds on my already small 120 pound frame. not a big deal. I didnt diet for long and I soon lost those 5 pounds but it really made me realize that I am not ok with anything. I will change my diet if it means I will lose weight I dont want to have. I always thought that my diet was never going to change no matter what my weight but then things changed...hmm. I dated a guy who was over weight (not by a lot) and I thought that I really didint care. but deep down the conditioning in my head told me it wasnt nice. I hated to sometimes look at him and not think he was attractive. (he was my boyfriend after all) but I did that sometimes. I think that if I/we could just get over our stupid stereotypes it would be better. I was in a mall and the food court has all those fast food places right? well the BIG HUGE billbord advertisement had a picture of a girls ass (well her whole backside but the center was her ass) and she was as skinny and a fence post. litterally. and thought "jeeze, its gotta be nice to go to the mall be tired as hell when you go to eat then sit there with your fatty french fries and stair at fency on the wall. gotta be great for your self esteem. advertising is just totally fucked. ~Malia(laurel)