[about the French] "They're rude, they smell bad, and they have this whole relationship to dairy products that I don't understand." - Meg Ryan, 'French Kiss' "Eris, dear, I made a mess and crumpets while you were out. Care to have some?" "I'm sorry I'm not so honest with my self, but I can say everything in my dreams." -somebody "Within you I lose myself, without you I find myself wanting to be lost again." -Unknown Garth: Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny? Wayne: [cracks up laughing] No... No! Garth: Neither did I. I was just asking. Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne. Wayne: Stacy, we broke up 2 months ago! Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it? Wayne: Well it does actually, that's what breaking up is. Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present? Wayne: What is it? Stacy: Open it. Wayne: Okay, but if it's a severed head, I'm going to be very upset [opens it] What is it? Stacy: It's a gun rack. Wayne: A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack? Stacy: You don't like it? Fine! You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me. Wayne: I lost you 2 months ago! We broke up! Are you mental? Executive: We must confess that your proposal seems less like science and more like science fiction. Dr. Eleanor Ann Arroway: Science fiction. You're right, it's crazy. In fact, it's even worse than that, it's nuts. You wanna hear something really nutty? I heard of a couple guys who wanna build something called an airplane, you know you get people to go in, and fly around like birds, it's ridiculous, right? And what about breaking the sound barrier, or rockets to the moon? Atomic energy, or a mission to Mars? Science fiction, right? Look, all I'm asking is for you to just have the tiniest bit of vision. You know, to just sit back for one minute and look at the big picture. To take a chance on something that just might end up being the most profoundly impactful moment for humanity, for the history... of history. "Aren't you ever gonna stop deluding yourself, hmm? Handling Max? Behaving like some ludicrous little underage femme fatale? You're, you're about as fatale as an afterdinner mint!" -Brian from "Cabaret" "You may have seen a house fly, or even a horse fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!" -Donkey, in Shrek "Wake up and smell the pheromones!" "A difference is a difference only if it makes a difference." -Anonymous "It is absolutely frightening to realize that half the people in the country have below average intelligence." -Clyde Watkins "When you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" - Mark Twain 'i am writeing grafety on your body i am drawing a picture of how hard we tryed..'- ani both hands "Americans couln't be more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel." -Dennis Miller "Begin at the beginning," the King said, gravely, "And go on until you come to the end: then stop." "a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." Willy Wonka (the movie) on the subject of...Beauty... "The most beautifull thing we can experience is the mysterious." ~Albert Einstein "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in." -American Beauty "Stop being so beautiful.... I almost droped my mask" on the subject of...Death... "A life worth dying for is worth living a little longer" - Joan Slonczewski author to A Door into Ocean "Which is worse, to die having lived, or live having died?" - Joan Slonczewski author to A Door into Ocean "Be careful when reading health books. You might die of a misprint. ~Samuel Clemens, who called himself Mark Twain 'cause he was so handsome and twain and stuff. "Death awaits you all with big sharp pointy teeth!" on the subject of...Reality... "Your reality sir, is lies and balderdash. And I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever!" "reality is something to rise above."-lisa menely "Mankind can not bear very much reality" -Keats "I want to be able to look reality stright in the eye, and deny it!"-? "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one." Albert Einstein (Evan is skeptical that the above quote is correctly attributed to Einstein. If anyone could cite the source of this quote and/or the year of its utterance and/or whether it was spoken, written, or published and if published in what, I'd appreciate it. Please email me at: ehw7 at aol.com Thanks.) "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Mahatma Gandhi "Look reality in the face, pretend it doesn't exist, and maybe it will go away."- Garrison Keillor "Everybody's waiting for the messiah Jews are waiting, Christians are waiting, also the muslims...I know how I hate to wait, like even for a bus or something or an important phone call...so I think it's time to reveal myself, I am the messiah." Dan Bern ("Jerusalem") "Yes, these are bruises from fighting, and yes, I'm okay with that. I am enlightened." -Fight Club "I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." ~D H Lawrence "Oh honey, Canadians don't matter." -Mrs.Foreman from That '70s Show "We're millions of miles from Earth inside a giant white face. What's impossible?" -A guy in Mission to Mars "My heart is your heart." - Hannah, "The Night I Met Dave" "Round up the usual suspects" - the Nazi general person in Casablanca (who's name I can't remember for the life of me) "Get Smart or Go Home" - a shirt that JessicaSkater 's little brother got for Christmas from her aunt who works at Mary Washington College "Never underestemate the power of stupid people in large groups" -a shirt in berkeley Life "I never could understand egg salad. I mean, what's it made of? Eggs and mayonaise. What's mayonaise made of? Eggs! So why bother?" "The life which is unexamined is not worth living." -Plato "I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To put tird rout all that was not life; and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." Neil Perry in the movie Dead Poets Society "She saved you're life, she has a good heart... I'm going to keep it in a jar on my desk." -the bad guy in The really bad TV series "Queen of Hearts" The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. -William James "Stress is the confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it" - ? "If the 'liberal' in 'liberal education' is like the 'liberal' in 'apply liberally', then that's exactly the kind of education I want!" -shad "I'm sooo hungry I could even eat my own cooking!" -Beastly, from Care Bears "Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear." -Empire Records "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" - Inigo Montoya, the Princess Bride "Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth." - Pablo Picasso "Heh." ~waaaay too many people on irc "Damme!" ~Miss Manners, misquoted "If you can keep your head when those around you/ Are losing their's and blaming it on you...Then you'll be a Man, my Son." ~Kipling "be a flower... open to the sunshine and to the love of God. Open yourself to the peace of the moment." ~Christy "It's called Rugby because assault and battery were already taken." -a t-shirt spotted being worn in Dallas "It makes no difference whether I write or not. They will look for other meanings, even in my silence. Thats how They are. Blind to revelation. Malkhut is Malkhut, and that's that. But try telling Them. They of little faith. So I might as well stay here, wait, and look at the hill. It's so beautiful." - from Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco "The Beauty of the Universe is derived not only from unity in variety, but also from variety in unity." - From 'The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco "It seems to me that two people have a baby just to see what they can make, like a kind of erotic arts and crafts." -Bill Cosby "I am not against blacks and a lot of good blacks will attest to that." Evan Mecham (Governer of Arizona) "We don't want to open a box of pandoras." "I wanted all my ducks in a row, so if we did get into a posture, we could pretty much slam-dunk this thing and put it to bed." Lee Cooke (mayor of austin texas) "Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25." "the boat gently floated across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't" "the body fell 10 storys, and hit the ground like a hefty bag full of chicken noodle soup" "folks. I'd like to sing a song about the american dream. About me. About you. About the way our american hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chest. About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts. maybe below the cockles. maybe in the sub-cockle area. maybe in the liver. maybe in the kidneys. maybe even in the colon. we don't know...." "truth and falsehood were bathing in a stream together. Falsehood got out first, and dressed itself in truths clothing. Truth unwilling to wear the garments of falsehood went naked" (?) "I feel like I'm Ben Kanobi, you're Chewbacca, she's Princess Leia, and we're in that fucked up bar!!!" "The ships hovered in the air, exactly the way a brick doesn't." "In the beginning the universe was created. This made lots of people very angry and is widly concidered a bad move." "The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss." "Albertan's don't vote, they just bless the regime." - Bateman, (Sita-Hana's Canadian politics professor) "So, ___, are you ready to ascend back to real life?" - Dan "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech" - Kathleen Dixon (in regards to why a professor couldn't teach a class at a university) "How dare you, you as a man, dare to speak to me, me as a woman. I think you're full of crap." "When the armed robber of unhappiness, knocks over the keebler cookie display of our complacency, and bangs the samuri sword of negativity on the check-out counter of our dreams. we must not be afraid to hurl the fruit cocktail can of hope" "Do not wait for strangers to remind you of your duty, you have a conscience for that. All the good you do must come from your own initiative." - El Popul Vuh "What good will it do you to think, 'Oh, I have done evil, I have made many mistakes'? It requires no ghost to tell us that. Bring in the light, and the evil goes out in a moment." - Vivekananda "I can't understand why I should be able to write something which everybody thinks is terribly clever, and at the same time be personally so dumb. I think I'm schizophrenic." - Douglas Adams ?Trying to speak about the ultimate reality is like trying to send a kiss through a messenger.? - Anonymous "I have the basic inferiority-superiority complex "The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time..." - Jack Kerouack "The essential point in science is not a complimented formalism or a ritualized experimentation. Rather, the heart of science is a kind of shrewd honesty that springs from the desire to know what the hell is going on!" - Saul-Paul Sirag "Man is least himself when he is in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." - ?
"The poet who waits for inspiration will never put pen to paper; the artist who blames the atmosphere for her empty canvas had better grow potatoes; they would prove more profitable." - Daphne DuMaurier "Sex is something special shared between two people who love eachother!"-Charlette "Or two people who love to fuck"-Samantha (from the HBO series 'Sex and the City') "If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war" a Pentagon official on why the US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War. "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order." - Brian Pickrell "Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it." - George Bernard Shaw "There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network." - Guy Almes "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." - Jeremy S. Anderson "Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea "If you can't sing, sing loud." - Comedy Sportz "Never piss off a dragon, for you are crunchy and go well with ketchup" -? "So you build the tools, to build the tools, to build the weapon, to wage the war, and if it takes long enough, you can even forgot what you're fighting for." _don't know/can't remember "Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean you don't have enemies" -?
"I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy" -? "My job is to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable." "And when I chose to live/There was no joy, it's just a line I crossed./It wasn't worth the pain my death would cost./So I was not lost, or found." "The difference between you and me is, I make this look good" -Will Smith to Tommy Lee Jones in Men In Black "If you can't impress them with sincerity, then baffle them with bullshit" -? "Of all the things I've lost in life, it's my mind I miss the most" -Ozzy Osburne? "We don't need no education. We don't need no thought control..." -Brick In The Wall (song) by ?(Pink Floyd) "Everybody wants charm and a smile and a promise. Well, I promise not to try" - "Promise" by Eve 6 "Leave the exploding hot dog carts to the professionals." - Duo Maxwell, in Pyractomena Borealis "Kitty-chan, while cute and fluffy, is not known for her talent at spontaneous combustion." - Duo Maxwell, in Pyractomena Borealis "And so, if one drinks much from a bottle marked 'POISON', it is almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later." "Whose gwine spay all them weasels?" -Dave Barry on grammar "Oh Rusty! I shot my best friend in the tit with my cufflink!" - Flawless "Springtime for Hitler and Germany... Deutschland is happy and gay... We're marching to a faster pace... Look out, here comes the master race..." - The Producers "Art is why i get up in the morning, but my definition ends there. you know it doesn't seem fair that i'm living for something i can't even define." "When we take time to dream, we discover the many windows to our soul." -Isabela Burani "Oh! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, with a gum drop house on lollipop lane! Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic." "Oh, yeah! Sarcasm is the downfall of civilization! Oo! Run! It's sarcasm!" "Well this isn't who it would be, if it wasn't who it is" "Study Shows 79% Of Americans Missing The Point Entirely" "The record of my \ unspeakable crimes \ in previous lives \ in previous times \ indelibly stains \ the pages of history" "'Attempted murder', now honestly, what is that? Do they give a nobel prize for attempted physics?" "Kind of like sniffing a couple hundred thousand magic markers while getting a slow sheet-lightning enema isn't it?" "And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!" "Veronica and I headed up the coast to Canada, back to California, and across the country, stopping wherever we liked. It was the realization of my high-school fantasy, except that Veronica bore little resemblance to a proboscis monkey." -David Sedaris, Naked "As the snow started to fall, he tugged his coat tighter around himself. Too tight, as it turned out. "This is the fourth coat crushing this year", said the sergeant as he outlined the body with a special pencil that writes on snow." -Jack Handy A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby." -Jack Handy "I'm not in a hurry." - Ambergold, one of Fuzzhead's characters "Gimmie some sugar baby!" -Ash, Army of Darkness "Elvis is alive! He is Barney the Purple Dinosaur! He is the Pied Piper that leads our children into the ways of sin and eternal damnation!!" -random lemming from the joecartoon.com game Live & Let Dive "I'm a thirty-three year old man applying for a job as an elf." -David Sedaris, "Santaland Diaries" "She has the true Emily Dickinson spirit except that she gets fed up occasionally." -James Thurber cartoon "I come from haunts of Coot and hern!" -James Thurber cartoon "The only cultural advantage in LA is you can make a right-handed turn on red." -Woody Allen "Must you perpetuate the stereotype?" -Gennie's Mom "Jerry, I'm a woman! We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to get angry if we don't get it!"-Lydia from Sliding Doors "If you don't drink your fatty drinks you will never achieve quality cellulite," -James from Sliding Doors "You know how a year to a human is like 7 years to a dog?..." "Someone's supposed to be a dog in this situation!?"..."I'm the dog? I'm the dog!? No Harry, if anyone's a dog here, you are!" -Harry and Sally from When Harry Met Sally "These guys sound like hootie. just let that ring out for a bit, just long enough for you to realize what a horrendous name it is...and then throw in the word blowfish. I think the real reason kids are shooting each other is to put them out of their misery from hearing the name hootie & the blowfish." -April Fresh "Now, how do we get the diamond onto the spaceship?" -Murky, on The Star Stealer "Do you have of the whiz of the cheese?" -Kumar "That was juuust like the rollercoaster at Funland!" Beastly, from Care Bears "Life is a banquet, and most poor bastards are starving!" -Auntie Mame "Some people said, I never had anything good to say about Joan Crawford. That is not true....Joan Crawford is dead...good." -Bette Davis "I'm too fucking busy and vice versa." -Dorothy Parker "There are very few human beings who receive the truth complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by ragment, on a small scale, by successive developments cellularly, like a laborious mosaic." -Anais Nin "Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt. Men willingly believe what they wish." -Julius Caeser "Love is not something you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot." -Jack Handey "I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our 'friend'." -Jack Handey "Benjamin, don't underestimate the mentally ill. We know how to count." -Joon again, I like this movie! "This is RuptureFarms. They say it's the biggest meat processing plant on Oddworld. I used to work here, but now I'm dead meat. I crossed the meeanest boss in the world. Mullock. The Glukkon" - abe, mudokon messiah "And in a city of three million, two hundred, and sixty nine thousand, nine hundred eighty four, everyone was lonely" "Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club." "Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese." "Excuse me, but can I be you for awhile?" "Cause it seems to me that other than being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal." "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel." "People are so strange and so complicated that they're actually... beautiful." "yeah, she's clinically insane... clinically insane like a FOX!" "This stuff speaks to me in places i didn't even know i had ears!" "Yaks are supposed to be funny. Some people almost die laughing at the mere thought of a Yak. I feel slightly depressed when I think of a Yak. About one Yak in ten strikes me as funny and he could be funnier." "ironing is ugly / and you are a fiddle" "Brent, you're a walking obscenity." "Fuck!" "You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?" "You're the vulgarian, you FUCK!" -Archie and Otto, "A Fish Called Wanda" "If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?" "Eli! Stop humping the TV!" -"I'm Bobbin Threadbear, are you my mother?" "Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." I knew a leper. I was best friends with a leper once? she had no eyelids. How 'bout we just leave your knee there. "Jack has many exxxxcellent qualities, but thinking is not one of them." "Are you gay or something?" "No, but I believe in fairies." "Oh those men who lust for land/And for riches strange and new/Who love those trinkets of desire/Oh they never will have you/And they'll never know the gold/Nor the copper in your hair/How could they weigh the worth of you so rare?" "I wish to discover the supreme understanding of words." Stuart "While old lady judges watch people in pairs, limited in sex they dare to push fake moralls insult and stair. While money doesn't talk it swears. Obsenity who really cares. Propoganda all is is fony." Bob Dylan "a rap of your finger on the drum fires all the sounds and starts a new harmony"---Arthur Rimbaud "Be careful not to step on glass; mirrors have a lot of faces when they shatter." "Thus my sorrow always renewed, and seeming in my eyes more lost than ever, "Can not the ragged clown of creative cleanliness whipe away the tear of scorn?" --- Stuart Green "Anyone who thinks they're too small to make a difference hasn't slept with a mosquito." "i love you not only for who you are but for who i am when i am with you." -? "I've got to admit its getting better, a little better all the time..." -Lennon/McCartney "Nice shoes. Where did you get them?" - The Asian Guy Who Edited Exhuming Mr. Rice to Jonah and Adrian *with a radio-host voice "The world is too big and too intricate to conform to our ideas of what it should be like...So many religious and political and scientific and social systems fail in that they try to impose a rigid structure onto what is an inherently ambiguous world." -Moby, Play "... you'd find an old table cloth on the street and make a dress ... and next year, sure enough - they'd be mass producing them at the Gap." -Maureen, I'll Cover You (Reprise), RENT "A college is a machine that transfers information from the notes of the professor to the notes of the student without it passing through the minds of either." -Traditional (found in Bear's guide to earning non-traditional degrees) "The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference." - (?)
"One can never have enough socks." "We are always getting ready to live, but never living." "You know when your brain gets fuzzy and feels like snow? That is not bad, it is your one chance at egolessness." "Dreams are not another slice of reality, not different from where we are now- they just tell us about it [reality] in a different way". "What is wrong with lonely? Anything you do deeply is very lonely." Katagiri Roshi, From Long Quiet Highway (Natalie Goldberg) "Sweetie, if you're not living on the edge, then you're taking up space." Flo Kennedy NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 149 times, last edited on October 20, 2001 by ::ffff:64.217.255.55. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
The Mess Fairy, Eris' godmother.
