a-rachel &-moth pageSo this is rachel, comin' at ya straight outta compton.i made this page, cause like, there's this chiclet naomi,and, we have a lot in common, and she's my twin and stuff. and i always wanna say nice things to her. so this is gonna be ma ongoing little place to do that. for when i'm thinkin' of her, and wanna let her know, i can, and she can do the same with me. and yeah. i'm outtie like a belly button. love you beautiful peoples.---rachel so yeah. it's christmas eve. it's the 24th of december. what a weird day. i'm listening to coldplay. they rock my world. naomi i'm sad. and you know this. i'm a little tumbling mess of tears. and you're a little orange sun in my sky. i can't wait until i meet you...i love you. when you thought that it was over.. you could feel it all around.. everybodys out to get you.... don't you let it drag you down...cause if you ever feel neglected if you think that all is lost.... i'll be counting out my demons.. hoping everythings not lost. i'm your moth, hotstuff, flutterin' up from down below. little bright orange kittylove, i hate to see you cry. so i wish i could hold you, y'know? an i wish i could make you smile from millions of miles away. it kicks ass to have a twin like you. when we meet we're going to sing a lot, loud and large, and people will want to kick us because chances are we're gonna sound like a train-wreck. it will be a train-wreck baby, because we know neither of us are graceful. and yet in my mind and in my ears and eyes it will be beautiful, and i think i'll gain a lot in the big picture the day i see your pretty face. but for now i've gotta say, keep your chin up gorgeous. nothin' can bring you down if you choose not to let it, yo? keep the things you love dear to you, they're your things and no one can take them away. hold yourself close when you're alone, and remember they're always someone waiting at your door and you'll never not have a lover looking your way. you're mine, mrs. jackson, an i'm sorry for real! word up to my #1 homeslice of a sexxy thang rachface. i love you like me... -moth and i just can't stop singing this song... i'm a rabbit in your headlights scared of the spotlight you don't come to visit i'm stuck in this bed thin rubber gloves she wears when she's crying she cries when she's laughing fat-blooded fingers are suckin your soul away... i'm a rabbit in your headlights christian suburbanite washed down the toilet money to burn flat-blooded fingers are suckin your soul away... "if you're frightened of dyin', and then you're holding on.. you'll see devils tearing your life away. but, if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels.. freeing ya from the earth..." wart-worms on the underground coppertine stations butterfingers i'm losing my patience... i'm a rabbit in your headlights christian suburbanite you've got money to burn... fat-blooded fingers are suckin your soul away... away... away... away... away... away... away... it's christmas. i was talking on the phone last night to my favourite far away boy.and it made me overjoyed. we laughed about all the dumb things we say and how silly i am. i was saying i was sad because everybody was fighting and because the smell of cookies baking wasn't the same and the smell of the christmas tree and the way the tinsel reflects the lights.. and thats what i love. but this morning, i got a taste of that again. and i smiled. it was a damn good ending to my night last night. and i ate cookies and orange juice this morning, and... imma buy you lotsa stuff and make you multiple mix tapes for your multiple moods with all the cds and tapes i have that mean things to me.. even thought i dont have some of the most important ones. merry christmas, sweet face.. i love you. ---rachel hi, rachel. it's the day after christmas. tuesday, y'know. i think you're out gallavanting with jake avi and zack. that sounds like good times. i, on the other hand, am sitting at my computer wasting valuable time and energy being pissed. i woke up at 3, rachel. three o'clock in the fucking afternoon. and i'd just like to ask... what the hell?!?! i didn't even go to bed that late. my family went to TWO movies without me, and breakfast. fucking hell. so yeah, i woke up about ten minutes before they got home, and they bitched at me about being the lazy-ass that i am, told me to get the hell up and out because relatives are on the way. pete dammit. so i look like shit, feel like shit, don't wanna see a damn soul and yet there's no way to avoid it. moo. i could kill something right now. but i'll be fine. i'm gonna see courtney today, and we're gonna watch movies i think. and then i'm gonna try and intrude on brents personal space sometime next week. maybe. i got american beauty for christmas, rachface. i watched it last night. that's the third time i've seen it. every time it's made me cry. every time it's thrown me into this weird loophole, and i can't tell if i'm happy or miserable. but i'm both. i love that movie. and i love where i'm at, even though i'm pissed and antisocial. i worked out a way that i can make it to austin in january. that's good and well, if everything works out. i've got lots of gift certificates so soonly i can go spend money on cute orange revealing items of clothing. so maybe i'm not that pissed. and maybe pretty soon i'll be in a kickin' mood. we'll see. i hope you call me sometime. if not, i'll call you. i got a calling card for christmas :) i love you rachface. i hope you're happy and smiling and giggling like the little orange faerie that you are. i miss ya. peace out, homeslice. your twin, -moth i was sitting there the other day, thinking about why things happen the way they do. like why i like certain people, and why things feel certain ways. it's weird. i wonder however we got created, why we got created this way. but yeah. i look like shit. it's the, the... 27th? of december. i can't believe it's almost january. school's going to start again soon. yuck. i dont want that again. roaaaaaaar. my belly has hurt for 2 days now. since christmas night, when i drank some kiwi lime kool aid stuff. and ate some orange flavoured.. uh.. lubricant called "wet". a joke gift, that, unfortantly does not taste all that spiffy. i have 200 dollars of gift certifacates. so i can go buy some peachy bracelets and big baggy pants and stuff. it should be orgasmic. hopefully i can find some orange stuff to glorify me:). i felt beautiful the other night. well, i'm gonna go eat some food now.my belly is grumblin. love you, sweetness- ---rachel she's my baby.. she belongs to me..but yesterday..she walked home.. all the way.. everybody else.. looks at my baby... hey naomi. i'm this little mess of emotions right now. texas is damn far away. i want some mozzarella sticks and a bit of clarity. i need to come visit.. i love you. tangerine..tangerine...i was her love, she was my queen.. ---rachel rachface. i'm cold because my feet are naked. poor feet. i just watched dogma. i think i wanna take a bath.. it's so cold. it snowed here. the snow is starting to melt, but when it first fell... it was beautiful. it was so fluffy. it was fantastic. i miss you. i haven't talked to you in a while. i need you to come see me soon, so we can act silly and get lots of hotboy digits. okay? you're sad right now, but i think you're really happy. that's a good thing. everything will balance out and you'll be smiling when it's over. just be patient, and cherish the tears. remember there's a texan who's just dying to see you. bye bye. oh i've seen fire and i've seen rain i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end i've seen lonely times where i could not find a friend but i always thought that i'd see you again... -moth hey naomi beautiful. i'm cold and i ate too much and i'm going to eat some more put some more layers on my fat little body and pile up the sadness. oh well. i'll get over it. i found a plane ticket for 218 dollars and i hvae 550 in the bank so that should work. sweet. i can't wait to meet you. and meet mah brent boy. and all that jazz. it's gonna be bliss. wooh. well my brudda needs to computer, so imma go make a package or something... hope my next few days go by with smiles eh? i'm wishin for happy naomis. love you.
" i heard somebody saying, todays the day, big old hurricane, shes blowing our way, knocking over the buildings, killing all the lives, open your eyes boy, we made it through the night, lets take a walk on the bridge, right over this mess, dont even tell me a thing baby, we're already confessed, and i raise my voice to the air, and we were blessed" hello, woman. i hope things are well with you today. it's a thursday. one i would have spent inside the school building, had i not escaped its walls already. i did little today... catnapped, watched movies, stuffed myself with snacks. i feel cute again somehow. and guess what? i'm going to dye my hair bright cherry-red soon. i'm so excited... i need a change. so i was just thinking and sitting and lying and sketching, and being a worthless little house mouse, but i've enjoyed myself.. and as of now that's all that matters. i've spent most of the day in solitude. it feels good to be able to sing at top volume without having to worry about bothering anyone. i wonder what you're doing right now. i wonder if you're going to buy plane-tickets to texas soon. i wonder if you really want to come see me. i wonder if you're happy. i hope you're happy. because on thursdays like these it seems such a waste to frown. i hope i talk to you again soon. i hope i can meet you soon. be happy, love. the world is at your fingertips. love, -moth "and she runs through her days with a smile on her face and she runs and she waits... and i wait we can drive to any place day and night, to cross this state and in the morning, into mexico we will wake up we will wake up we will i will be with her i found a window in the kitchen where i let myself in run and saw the refrigerator poured myself a beer i can't believe i'm really here and she's lying in that bed i can almost feel her touch and her angels breath i stumbled in the hallway i saw her bedroom door i hear her call out to me i hear the fear in her voice she pulls her covers tighter i press against the door i will be with her tonight i will be with her tonight i will be with her tonight i will be with her tonight i will be with her..." i'm getting the flu. it's mad shitty. i'm kind of happy, well, until i start school and all that jazz i was bitching about last night. it was so good to talk to you. " scars are souveniers you'll never loose, the past is never far" i cant wait till i come visit.. and stuff. and yeah. i miss some particular person more than i should, it's depressing. hope your bagels were good. have a nice sunday. call me tonight if you can. i love you more than whipped cream.
rachel compton, you are loved. i've got a song on my heart this morning. i lay in bed for two straight hours after i woke up... just lay and daydream. daydream about lovers lips and hands and waking up next to a pretty face. i am still boy-crazy. but rach my love, don't frown... you can cry, because these tears will cleanse, i swear. and you're triggering some crazy nostalgia in me, love. i thank you for it. it's good to be reminded of. i miss you. i just had the most perfect cup of coffee, and now i'm going to go get dressed and do my hair.. you're my little orange firefly, so don't you think about dimming. i love you. "let the world collapse and die it's sinking deeper in your eyes and i will sing a sweet surprise for no one let the world collapse and swallow all the loves you'll hold tomorrow and i will shield and i will follow no one and i'm all screwed up but i feel alright sinking deeper all the time a silent hole deep in my mind but i love you i love you more than life" -moth my lips are really chapped and my food is gone and my belly is filled but im still someone not at ease with my situation. i put up every iron guard i could to try and block myself from loving this time, to stop myself from caring so much that the sadness would eminate and i would miss. i guess i failed at that one.. all im left with is a honey coloured memory callused warm fingers and the ability to say how i feel. not to you but to my surroundings slowly dashed with memorys of you which i wish could be a reality i wish my surroundings could be scattered with you. and, no, dont be sorry boy.. dont say you never meant to hurt. for that is why i'm in pain. you made me smile, feel beautiful. you didn't hurt. for this i thank you as i cross my fingers take a picture and hope our paths will cross again i need to get the fuck outta here for a while.. i love you.
rachel you bring tears to my eyes. maybe they're your tears. you are on my mind... and i pray for your smiles. it's a weird day, rachel. a really weird day. i woke up around 1:45... sorta rolled out of my bed. went to momma's. cleaned my room... that was nice. i love cleaning my room, especially when it gets as nasty as it was. my friend is lending me his typewriter, so i've been writing a lot... just sitting on my bed and typing. typing. typing. it feels good to vent to no one, without staring at a computer screen or having to see my ugly handwriting... just type. so now i'm just sitting at the computer, nothing better to do, thinking about all the friends i've driven away... all the people who just can't stand me. it's my choice, you know. i could change if i wanted. but... i don't know how. it's scary sometimes. other times i just say "fuck it", but then... consequinces. it can be scary. i need someone who needs me... i miss courtney so much. but you know what? i'll make it. i'll trudge on. i'm not wanting pity or anything. i don't know what i want. and it's starting to drive me crazy. is he still on your mind? is he still poking your heart? do you still cry at night? do you remember i care? do you need someone to talk to? i'm here. i love you. -moth yeah it's still all the same. i yelled at my sister, because i get painful stakes in my heart when people like her more.. it's not her fault really but all those ones that turn away and move to her and forget about me the pain it brings is unbearable and my friends daddy tells her shes perfect so she has only that idea in her head... and dumps it all on me. yeah, i know i'm not that great, i say. i shouldn't ever say such a thing about myself. but i do. and all the stupid shit piles up and the tears come over me like a blanket. and i hate it. because crying becomes such a pattern i cant even enjoy it anymore. i have to start my community service tommorow... scary. such is lifei love you. ---rachel hi rachel. i feel jaded and uncomfortable. i'm not sure what my problem is. i feel lonely, but pretty... and i don't know what exactly i should do. i need a warm hug, maybe a kiss on the lips... but i'm not going to get that. it's okay. i will get over it, like i always do. but for the time being i just want to wish upon a star and pray for warm hands and deep eyes to come dancing my way... i want some lovely star-struck lad to boldly brush me off my feet, only to place me back here on earth when we're through... because i need something quick, something intense, something beautiful. i want warm lips to be mine, but i'll wait... listen to music that makes you cry... i won't stop. i love you. -moth my eyes are stinging because im so in need of sleep, so this is gonna be short and to the point. i think i'm gonna come to texas for like 2 weeks,or 3, spend like some time with you dallas kids, and spend some with the austin babys. sound good? write on here tonight, twinnie.
dont......wannna........deal.......with........resposibilite.....
love you-
IDEA---- orange enthusiasm put words you like here. in bold. words that mean things to you. and you can write why. or why not. or what. such as: heart it contains little pieces of all the people who lost me follow mah trend, girlie. yes ma'am. body good round word. i've got one, you've got one. warm body, soft body, good for sleeping, holding, moving, loving. fantastic. nacho mmmmmm.... perfect no such thing but in our heads. fabulous sort of british, so expressive. fun, silly. absolutely fabulous. i can't think of anymore. i feel cute again today, love. silly silly. woke up at 1! early for me! gonna go eat some macaroni. talked to my friendy... gotta ask my daddy about this date i'm supposed to be going on. that should be interesting.. you see, he doesn't know i like boys. *hahahaha* mmkay, beautiful. smile for me. i'll try and call you soon. -moth hey chiclet- i had a pretty goodly night. my community service is done even though i only did 17 hours because they said i did a real good job so i could be done early. it's so sweet. so now, i can get my life in order, and travel to see my texans. good deal, eh? we chaperoned a middle school dance tonight, haha. me and 6 community service boys, and some girls that worked there. it was cute. there's one really darling intriging boy i'll have to tell you about him and his sweet ways. hope you're night was splendid, and all is well. write soon- love,
hey rachface. i feel silly! and sleepy. i think i'm going to hit the sack soon-like. i'm going shopping with my momma in a few days.. i'm excited. because i'm a materialistic dork! anyway, i need clothes. i'm dying to hear about this boy.. did i tell you about my waitor? *swoon* hehe.. have you ever hear "outside" by that aaron something person? i just heard it on the radio.. it's so good. i have it stuck in my head.. okay, there's a short posting. i'll talk to you soon, love. peace peace love you -moth hey twin face. i'm bitter sweet munkey love. my friends treating me like shit. im broke i need new clothes. i want to figure out my trip so i can buy my ticket. im gaining weight. i hate my appearence. something good needs to happen, and now... i love you.
call me. write on here longly. email me .soonly.
"and i dont understand why i sleep all day and i start to complain and there's no rain and all i can do is read a book to stay awake and it rips my life away but it's a great escape....escape...." holy crap, you creepy twin! that song came on the radio last night.. uh.. not a big coincedence, but enough to freak me out. dude i woke up at nine o'clock! i rule! now i have to download ICQ on to daddy's p.o.s. PC, and then do some school, and then tonight i'm gonna try to hook up with courtney and erin and ryland and ted, because ryland and ted are here and i wanna meet 'em! so bah. you're a cutie-pie, don't deny it. when people treat you like shit, just look them straight in the eye and say "you're wrong, fatso!" (i was never very good at giving advice..) you bought your ticket!!! you're coming to see me! i'm so cool! you're so cool! this is gonna be sooooo cool! woo! i love you! peace. -moth Whoop. Looks like some loser has too much time and decided to read all our shit, and then bitch about it. Sounds like a waste of mean energy if you ask me! but hey, what do i know? i'm like this little ball of orange orgasm waiting to fly on an AIR o plane to texASS and see my loved ones.. wooooooh. awayaway with my shitty life! gonna be sad when i come back, but thats for LATER alligator. " I got my body and my mind of the same page, and oh you know, happiness is all the rage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love YOU-
eh. i miss you too much distance in my life lately.. too much crying myself to sleep.. love, rach Yo! Have you guys ever heard of E-mailing? Who wants to know about you two gaining weight or looking like and being treated like shit? Who the fuck cares?
uhh.... hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah! -moth been to long, sweetheart. but i'll see you soon. you can call me.. i'm sorry i haven't e-mailed you yet. i've been busy, but only busy doing dumb things like... sleeping... i miss you too. i'll try to call you soon. in the meantime, just keep daydreaming about your texas time soon to come. i love you. "if i was beautiful like you all the things i would do those not so blessed would be crying out murder and i'd just laugh and get away with it, too like you do if i was beautiful like you i would never be at fault i'd walk in the rain between the raindrops bringing traffic to a hault but that will never be that will never, never be because i'm not beautiful like you i'm beautiful like me" -moth UGH UGH UGH. ugh. i'm so disgusted right now. with life in general. this better be fucking pms or something or i'm going to be omitted to a mental institution soon. this is a nasty lame fucking slump im in and it's eating my mind away. we need to figure out my visit, cause.. yeah. i want time with you. and time with brent. and cor. and we need to work it around your schedules. before i come, i think. to save my sanity. sorry i'm such a biatch. my stoumach needs liposuction. UGH.
you say ugh a lot when you're disgusted. it's soooo cuuuuuuuute!!! oy! i mean.. hehe, sorry. i'm in a pathetically good mood. i woke up so late, and i missed ryland and ted. that sucks. but i had the funniest dreams, about talking to brent and courtney and erin about marijuana, and then there was another one but i've already forgotten it.. that's okay. so it's 3:13, but it feels more like noon, and i just ate toast and a piece of dark chocolate cake with two cups of coffee for breakfast and i'm listening to ani and i feel so... cute. yeah. cute. that's okay, isn't it? i took my old favourite pair of jeans last night, the ones that got completely shredded almost up to the ass because i wore them to death.. i took 'em and made itty-bitty shorts out of them! i mean these things are tiny, but that's okay.. i'll wear them around the house and next summer. teehee! i felt so girly.. but they actually looked cute. i'm a lot dorkier than i thought.. now i'm listening to beastie boys really loud. i was thinking about you while i was having breakfast.. just thinking about how i hope you feel comfortable around me. y'know? i just want you to feel at home, like you can tell me anything, like you do now.. i think that's how it'll work out. i hope so. we're going to have so much fun. and don't worry, love.. try not to stress or blow things out of proportion. it's all chill! an i love you heaps. you are beautiful whether you believe it or not. "'cause i drink it anytime and anyplace when it's time to get ill i pour it on my face monkey tastes Def when you pour it on ice come on y'all it's time to get nice coolin' by the lockers gettin' kind of funky me and the crew, we're drinking Brass Monkey this girl walked by, she gave me the eye i reached in the locker grabbed the Spanish Fly i put it with the Monkey mixed it in a cup went over to the girl, "yo baby, what's up?!" i offered her a sip, the girl she gave me lip it did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my... Brass Monkey! that Funky Monkey!" -moth brrrrrrrrr. it's kind of cold in here because the fire died out.. brrrr.. i love my sparklie earrings. hehe. i'm so much like a little kid. i wish material objects didn'tmake me so happy. it's skank ass nasty. 2 weekS! it's surreal. i'm so so so so so so excited. ahhh... i can just THINK of all the fun we can have... it's gonna be every emotion, and lotsa pictures, love... i had such a good day! i love singing loud oldies while printing photographs! woooh. good times. i can't can't can't wait. i just wanna sleep until then im so happy. " cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hands feels like a baby bird falling from the nest i think that your body it's something i always do i think that im happy i think that i'm glad i've a lack of inovation i've had a loss of perspective i've had a little bit to drink, and it's making me think.. i don't care if they eat me alive.. i've got better things to do than survive..." i love you.
cory sez: *sigh*... time to go put on an ani cd... oh me, oh my. i miss my girl today. woke up with boy in mind. he serves for dizzy jungle-affect, hazy unfulfilling purpose your rain does not suffocate me. tougher, rougher to move on break this down, ask you for help. i'll hold your hand i'll sing your comfort tune to muse just to say i need you and that this will be alright i thank you for the picture you paint on my sore soul i clap my hands you're beautiful to me come to me, get up and go it's time to laugh a little smile so it fuels me i'm getting weary i love you like me i love you " i do it for the joy that it brings...
/because i am a joyful girl/
because the world owes me -nothing-.
we owe each other the world...
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from /you/
i do it just because i want to
because
i want to. {orange:"}
-moth UGH. that's a happy ugh. ugh like THUG. no okay. i'm hyper. but it's goodly. i like my big jeans. and my red velvet tank top oooh. i love it. i'm never gonna take it off. and.... i think i'm going to write some quality poetry soon. i hope. brentface made me happy last night. are you okay? you should be happy.. cause.... dun dun dun 2 weeks from tommorow! and think of how quickly this last week has past! oh man! it's gonna be like, in our laps befor we know it! agh. i'm so fucking excited.. bwaaaaah. i could explode... talking away.. i dont know what words to say.. ill say it anyway.. todays another day to find you.. shying away... i'll be going for your love okay... take... on .... me....! take...me...on....! i love you, hot pants! mwahmwahmwah- that's THREE twin kisses. doesn't happen every day, i tell ya! smile cutie. love, ---rachel woooo! i'm in a much better mood now! and it's weird, because i'm doing school, but i'm happy and stuff... and i'm going to meet jasmine tomorrow ! ¡ ! AYE YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI YI mmm mm! i'm fulla indian food! good stuff. ˆî shøuld dø mø®é sçhøølˆ... {purple:-wøø! døwñ wîÝh Ýhé ƒüñk!-}
{purple:-/wü-Ýåñg¡/-}
{purple:î wîsh ¥øü åñd mé wé®é ƒ®øm Ýhé såmé wømß!}
uhhhhhhhhhh... {orange: -î lø*é ¥øü¡-}
-moth hey cutie my head hurts. my hair, actually. it's weird. i love that suzanne vega song. you're my music monkey. if this turns out pink i'm gonna get cranky. i'm such a mood-bucket. i'm super happy then super sad and all around the spectrum. it's confusing as all hell. modestmousemodestmouse. my ears hurt too. damn holes in them. but ohhh the sparklies are so pretty. ahhh..... i look like shit and i dont care. the beauty of late nights. i loveyou.
email me.
'sup rafael. dude, this guy just icq'd me and was like "hiya! quesa de español?" er something... *deletes weirdo spanish dude from contact list* sorry i was such a mess last night. thanks for not saying anything like "ack! back up, moody biatch!" it really helped:) woof. i have to go to the dentist with my cousin today. gonna suck. she hates the dentist. she's only four. hehe.. she's got this imaginary friend named Diamon Walnut, and i have to play his voice. it'll be interesting. but it's all def, because then i get to go to her house (mansion, i should say. i hate rich people) and chill in their hot-tub. good times. hope you have a kickin' day, sweetheart. "stayed true to the things i knew when i was younger when food and love was all but left to hunger it's when i strayed from that truth as i grow older too much leaves an empty hollow hunger i think about you on a moonlit night and the stars all seem to weep when there's so much love to lose, there's never any time for sleep look at me doing all these things without you we always laughed and you were untrue where was it we tried so hard not to go to? i think that's how i finally came through all the things we took for granted words still live on in my head all the plans i took for granted all the words i never said i think about you on a moonlit night and the stars all seem to weep when there's so much love to give, there's never any time for sleep so i stayed true to the things i knew when i was younger i knew that love was all but left to hunger it's when i stray from that truth as i grow older too much leaves an empty hallow hunger too much leaves an empty hunger with or without you" love you. -moth can you please make this a different colour? pleasepleaseplease. woooh. you're out running circles with brent the cutie and jaz baby and courtney and erin probablly. you lucky piece of texan flesh. i finished this book that brent's friend brian told me to read called breakfast of champions and it was sosoososososooso good. i loved it so much. i need more quality books like that. definitly. i started reading this book once, called sophie's world. i think. it was about philosophy. it was by some guy who wrote this other book i like. and it was saying how like we learn things. and in order to be.. hm.. it's hard to remember. in the right state of mind, or whatnot, we have to unlearn all the falsity that has been fed into us. and i think that's interesting. only 11 days as of tommorow. 11 is a good number. i just had to write an essay for my probation officer. wooh. let's stay home to do that. oh well. some things in life just have to be done. i'm all flabby. i need to get toned like a perfectly roasted marshmallow! well i'm going to go. maybe i'll write. do something productive, maybe.. just maybe. keep smilin girlie- "you get the car i'll get the night off you'll get the chance to take the world apart and figure out how it works don't let me know what you find out i need a car you need a guide who needs if i don't die or worse i'm gonna need a nap at best i'll be asleep when you get back i wanna see it when you find out what comets stars and moons are all about i wanna see their faces turn the backs of heads and slowly get smaller i wanna see it now wanna see it now i want specifics on the general idea i wanna think what i should know what should i do me why do you show i wanna see movies of my dreams i wanna see movies of my dreams i wanna see movies of my dreams i wanna see movies of my dreams i wanna see it when you get stoned on a crowded breezy desert afternoon i wanna see it untamed itself and blame it's owner i wanna see it now i wanna see it now" i love you-
i'm listening to a love song, rachel! i was just in the car... -destination: kellers!- our favourite family fastfood drive-in. greasy food, good times.. and on the way there i was swallowed by a breeze of pure joy and it made my eyes tear up and my heart beat funny and it felt.. good. y'know! it just feels good. woo woo woo! i had so much fun last night i thought i was just going to pop. and i'm going to spend monday with all the same people, i hope, brent, whitworths, jasmine... good times, good times! def def! but now i just wanna curl up into a lil' ball and nappy-poo, you catch my drift rachface? word. "sitting in the morning sun... i'll be sitting 'till the evening comes watching the ships come in and then i watch them roll away again... i'm sittin' on the dock of the bay watching the tide roll away i'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay wasting time... i left my home in georgia headed for the 'frisco bay 'cause i've had nothing to live for... looked like nothing's gonna come my way so i'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay whatching the tide roll away sittin' on the dock of the bay wasting time... look, darlin', nothing's gonna change everything remains the same i can't do what ten people tell me to do so i guess i'll remain the same just sittin' here resting my bones and this loneliness won't leave me alone two thousand miles i roam just to make this dock my home now i'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay whatching the tide roll away sittin' on the dock of the bay wasting time... love you. -moth brrrrrrrrrrrr. it's so chilly in here. i can't seem to get warm. guess it's just one of those nites. i was so hyper earlier. ugh. i didn't like it. but i'm good now.a little down, maybe.. well, no. just not up. it's all good though. sunday,monday,tuesday,wednesday,thursday,friday,saturday,sunday,monday,tuesday... and i'm there! so nothing can last bad for too long. i'm going to bee supershyparanoidafraid rachel when i see you all as i get off the plan. ohhh man. it's gonna be scary. but it'll fade soonly, i bet:). wooh. and i'll get to see you! and hug you and give you goodies and run around the mall hysterically i hope:) but i should go. i should sleep. it's good for my girl-body. not even 11 days, cutie. "my past my future my disease perhaps collapse to make me see the moment just to breathe wakeful humble lie low these words to be the past soon how i wonder am i here now am i here now i try to feel you see and it confuses me i'm wrong i am here now its my now take it all around the world take my future past it's fine the now is mine my precious present will you bloom to make this fourth diamond shone stop asking stop asking why all i know is all i am but never fully understand my breathing i try how i try to feel you see and it confuses me i'm wrong i am here now it's my now take it all around the world take my future past it's fine the now is mine" or something. love you-
a momentary lapse of concentration... my crushes are consuming me today! but it's been a good day, rachface. because i spent it with jasmine and courtney and erin, and we talked and we went to whole foods and bought snackies and i saw isaac and jake and everything was just good and fun and i really think i've decided to go to camp this year.. like, decided decided. i hadn't done that yet. up until now there's been a lot of doubting and worrying and stressing.. and there will still be a little more of that to come, but.. i don't know. things just feel better now. and i feel like i know people better than i have, and i've been meeting people, and i'm going to meet you, and there are so many people i'm dying to meet and... okay, that's enough talk. but what session are you going to? i'm probably going to 2nd, because that's what most of the people i know are going to (erin if she goes, aly, mitch, courtney if she goes..), so i'm going to have to convince YOU to do the same! bwah bwah bwah i'm in a rambling talky talk sorta mood. which is cool, because i got to talk to jaz and cor a whole lot, and it felt really good and.. haha! guess what?! i found out that people actually read this page! like, other than us! haha! i didn't think they did. i mean, not people as in everyone.. i'm sure some people avoid it like the plague. but courtney and jasmine actually read it! isn't that hilarious? it just sort of shocked me for some reason. mmkay, i'm talking to you in IRC now so it's all peachy keen. i haven't e-mailed you yet because the last e-mail you sent me made me really really happy and it was really good and long and interesting, and lately i haven't felt interesting/patient/competent enough or capable of doing it justice in my responce, so.. but be patient, love! and i love you. "hello is there anybody in there? just nod if you can hear me is there anyone home? come on, now i hear you're feeling down i can ease your pain get you on your feet again relax i need some information first just the basic facts can you show me where it hurts? there is no pain you are receding a distant ship-smoke on the horizon you are only coming through in waves your lips move, but i can't hear what you're saying when i was a child i had a feeling my hands felt just like two balloons now i've got that feeling once again i cannot explain you would not understand this is not how i am i have become comfortably numb okay just a little pin-prick there'll be no more... but you may feel a little sick can you stand up? i do believe it's working good that'll keep you going through the show come on it's time to go there is no pain you are receding a distant ship-smoke on the horizon you are only coming through in waves your lips move but i can't hear what you're saying when i was a child i caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye i turned to look but it was gone i cannot put my finger on it now the child is gone the dream is gone i have become comfortably numb" love, -moth count down to the lerrrve:10 days I don't know what is wrong with me. I think I was cleaning and thinking for too long. My mind is like jello. and everything is making little dents into it right now. I think i'm going to just go to sleep soon to get rid of all the pain and bad thoughts in my mind right now. I have to go to school all week. Ugh. I don't learn enough there and it just piles up the stress. i'm so unhappy with it. I definitly need to change it.bah. my computer hates me a lot.I think he wants to eat me for dinner. ugh i'm such a bitch when i'm grouchy. i feel so bad to all the people who get exposed to my nastiness. i'm evil in word and look and vibe and everything. people probablly think i want to bite their shoulders off. i'm such a moody girlie. I really don't like it because it's so uncontrollable and i pop into these random moods at random times. well, poppa wants me off. I love you. ---rachel "don't change your name keep it the same i fear i may loose you again i know you won't it's just that i'm unorganized and i wanna find you when something good happens and if you come down we'll go to town i haven't been there for years but i'd be fine wastin' our time not doing anything here just doing nothing take a few days talk about things important to us like whatever we'll difuse bombs and walk marathons and take on whatever together whatever, together whatever, together whatever, together whatever, together whatever, together" word to that, honeypie. Arggghhh!@_+)$! i'm frustrated. very. but that's okay, because the week is almost over, and soon i'm gonna see you! and that's good. so i'll get over this moodiness super duper soon-like for a fact, lovey dovey. i haven't talked to you in a while.. i'd call you, but the last time i did that i maxed out my calling card, so.. i'm buSted with a capital S. sucks to be me. i miss you, rachel! call me, if you see this. i know i haven't e-mailed you back, i suck, yes yes.. i will, though. hehe, i'll probably e-mail you while you're staying with brent or something.. man, i'm lame. oh well. i love you! i'll see you soon :) love, -moth -{orange:COUNTDOWN TO THE TWINGASMIC LERRRVE}- -5 days-why are you frustarated? i need motivation ugh. hopefully i'll come back with some kind of motivation and not too much sadness. although i know that won't happen. what's been eating at your little apple-core naomi heart lately? 4 days, cuteface.well if you dont' count the rest of tonight. which really doesn't count. did you know i'm going to have to get up at four in the morning to get to my plane on time??? that's disgusting. haha. you should email me before i leave, silly. but whenever is good. if i can rummage up a calling card i'll call you. but i doubt it. high high highly doubt it. Shitty. ah well. i'll be there soon enough and we wont have to PAY for good conversations. sheesh. well i should go finish cleaning my room. hope you're happier. see you soon! miss talking to you. listen to more wyclef. it's good for your heart. i love you! --rachel wooo!!! hey, hotstuff. lah dee dah. it's 4:20. hahahahaha.. er, sorry. i'm all jumpity right now. i took a really long, really hot bath earlier. i still have a towel on my head. and guess what? jake is on his way.. he has to pick up his cell. what a dorkhead! he left it in my sister's car last night. i can't believe he's not here yet.. he's biking, though, so i guess i'll give him some slack. he's gonna make fun of me, because i look silly wearing a towel. screw 'em! hehe. burr rabbit, i just got the chills. dylan is calling rhymi right now, to find out if she's coming to dallas with him or not. woop dee doo! okay, i'm gonna go pee, and then listen for jakeface. mmkay! i love you heaps, mounds, and oodles, beautiful. see you in three days :) wanna tell you 'bout the girl i love my, she looks so fine she's the only one that i've been dreaming of maybe some day she will be all mine i wanna tell her that i love her so a thrill with every touch i need to tell her she's the only one i really love i gotta woman, wanna ball all day i gotta woman, she won't be true no i gotta woman, stay drunk all the time i said i got a little woman and she won't be true! sunday morning when we go down to church all the menfolk standin' in line they say they come to pray to the Lord but when my little girl looks so fine and in the evening when the sun is sinking low everybody's with the one they love i walk the town, keep searching all around looking for my street-corner girl i gotta woman wanna ball all day i gotta woman, she won't be true no no i gotta woman, stay dunk all the time i said i gotta little woman and she won't be true! and in the bars where the men play guitars see them drinking and remembering the times my little lover does a midnight shift she ball around all the time i guess there's just one thing left for me to do gonna pack my bags and move on my way cause i got a worried mind, sharing what i thought was mine gonna leave her where the guitars play i gotta woman, she won't be true no no i gotta woman, wanna ball all day i gotta woman, stay drunk all the time! i gotta woman, i said she won't be true she won't be true! hey hey, what can i do? i got a woman she won't be true... oh oh oh oh hear what i say, i gotta woman wanna ball all day! i love you! -moth bwack bwack.
it's 1:38 on sunday nite.
2 more days. that;s so crazy mad wack. nervousnervous. ooh la la it's gonna be fun, though.
it's DAMN COLD. i hate it. ugh.how cold's it there, pie face?
well i should sleep. i have school earlyearly and i can't miss it cause i'm gonna skip two weeks to visit your -ass.
well ilove ya.
and i got no lyrics to spill cause i have no music cause it's freaky late.
write meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeya.
love you.
i just wanna say..
like one day. it's insane.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
love you...
"What a wonderful world"
mwah mwah
<naomi> so guess what? that's right. damn straight. i rule. i'm sitting next to rachel creepy compton. aw hell yes. "sisters! sisters! never were there such devoted sisters.." deep frying ear lobes? what the shit? anyway, hottie, we've got major plans, right? lots of fantastic things to do.. <rachel> well hottie we are going to go get productive and stuff now have some good fun and all. so we ..yeah. have fun. i need to shower sometime! hehehehe. love you muchly darling. talk to you SOON.ahhahahaha.
i miss you naomi. i'm in austin. let me know how you are. i love you. see you soon.-rachel i miss you rachel. i can't wait to see you again. i'm listening to wycleff and looking at hester and wearing your snap-bracelet. i love you. i e-mailed you. see you soon. i love you. -moth 2/22/01, 3:52 a.m. whew, she's back. and it's a good thing, too. she came with a video from austin. for me. that's nice :) so now she's here and it's 3:45 in the a.m. and she won't let me go to sleep. i don't want to go to sleep. we're wearing snap-bracelets and fuzzy slippers, but she took off my cat-ears so now it's my turn to wear them. now she's got my butterfly clips in her hair. speaking of her hair, she's going to cut off a braid of it, just for me, so i can keep it in my diary. we've spent so much time online, it's ridiculous. but all fot that beautiful jasmine orr who means everything to us, and so it's been time well spent. but honestly, we've got so much to do. but the night is still young, my pretty little darling! i've been working diligently in your journal all day, but you've got a lot of work to do in mine. what else do we need to do? hah. guess who this is? that's right. it's rachel. that silly little punk. yup. well it's kind of late. or early. or something. and i'm in a weird mood because i was really sad earlier and i'm okay right now but i know i'll resume being sad sometime in the near future and i kind of don't like that feeling because it sucks but also it's early and i'm kind of delirious and i wonder what people really think of me and i don't know how people care about me and shit is so confusing but anyways we have a lot alot of task on our little hands tonight such as : 1.* write in journals 2.* listen to music 3.* make video 4.* go to park 5.* sleep 6.* pictures 7.* talk 8.* cry anyways. i think you get the PICTURE..hahahahaha. i'm having a really hard time typing on this keyboard tonight. maybe it's cause on monday night i didn't sleep at all and last night i only slept a little. maybe. well, we should go. damn procrastinatin' twin shit. i'm tellin' ya. love you, beautiful. this is rachel and naomi, signing off... 2/23/01, 5:37 texas time today is the day you left me, rachel compton. texas is crying because it misses you, but it's tears are nothing compared to mine. i won't write much here. i don't think i could say what i mean to, what i want to, to let you know how much i love you, and how i feel like this big, big chunk of me took a plane to philadelphia this morning, and left the rest of me a crying mess. i have many bits and pieces of you that will keep me going for a while.. notes i haven't read, video i haven't whatched, sentimental junk jewelry i haven't worn. maybe it'll keep me going. maybe it'll just make me miss you more. i can't tell. i just know that i'm so, so glad that i do have little pieces of you all over the place. every little thing reminds me of you. every song. every place. every word. i'm waiting to read what you wrote in my diary until monday, when wesley takes me driving out in the country. that makes me excited, and makes me feel like i'm going to see you this monday.. but i'm not. just see your words. i guess i couldn't ask for much more. God, i miss you. so much. more than you know. but i love you more than that. i hope you're so, so happy.
/i love you./
-moth
naomi. it's nine eleven, on the twenty third of february, pennsylvania time. i just got home. well, maybe about an hour a go. i'm not quite sure anyone around here is going to understand how much i miss you, but that is okay, i guess. i can't push it on them. i'm sad naomi. i'm really sad. but i'm happy too. i mean, not right now. but i'm glad we got to share what we did. i'm glad i can love you. i'm glad that we will see each other again. i can't really tell you how i feel either. i feel empty. i feel sad. i feel lonely. i feel missing. it shocked me when i was talking to my momma on the way home. i realized how long six months is. but i don't want to think about it. it's just.. yeah. there is a lot wrong in my life. and what is right, is really far away. but you know what. i'm not thinking like this. i got a letter today that made me cry. i miss you more than i can say. i love you. i love you. i hope you are happy. i hope you don't miss me too much. i hope you know you're beautiful. i love you.
-rachel
Yesterday I went outside With my momma's mason jar Caught a lovely Butterfly When I woke up today And looked in on my fairy pet She had withered all away No more sighing in her breast I'm sorry for what I did I did what my body told me to I didn't mean to do you harm But everytime I pin down what I think I want It slips away - the ghost slips away I smell you on my hand for days I can't wash away your scent If I'm a dog then you're a bitch I guess you're as real as me Maybe I can live with that Maybe I need fantasy A life of chasing Butterfly I told you I would return When the robin makes his nest But I ain't never comin' back I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry hey.y'know, wanna hear a secret i miss you. a whole fucking lot. i'm kind of void of emotion and enthusiasm..except missing. i have my share of that. its 3 02 and i have to wake up at seven thirty. i love you. raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachel holes! dug by little moles! and with jealous spies... got telephones for eyes! come to you as friends! oh, all those endless ends! that can't be tied.. and oh, they make me laugh! and always make me cry.. 'till they drop like flies! in safely polished stones.. of all the stones i know... how does that old song go? *sigh* i just woke up, and it's 10:42. i'm about to go driving with wesley. you know. people on my mind this morning: /rachel compton/ /my jake/ /jasmine/ /rachel compton/ yeah. so, i get to see you today. in a sense. and i've been looking forward to it since the night you left. sort of. prepare me for the tears to come. it's gonna be a bumpy ride. but i fucking love you, girl, and i miss you like hell. you are beautiful. -moth hey darling. it's really cold. if i was in texas it would be warm. i really miss brent. i don't know what's wrong with me. actually, nothing is wrong with me. it's really natural. i miss you all, though. i spent all day wanting to get home to do things with myself, for all my texans. i love one fell swoop. i love you. hope you had a good drive with wesley.. let me know how it went. i miss you. -rachel "i have seen the others and i have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting.. no.. and i've seen their mothers.. and i will no other to follow me.. where i'm going.. so take your shower and shine your shoes.. you got no time to loose.. you're a young man you must be living.. go now you are forgiven." today,thursday was the worst day of my life. it was full of pain and tear stricken eyes for me and everyone around me. " shaking, like a dog shitting razorblades waking up after nothing after dreaming of you and me i'm waking up all alone i'm waking up so relieve while you're taking your time with apologys i'm making my plans for revenge red eyes on orange horizons if colombus was wrong i'd drive straight off the edge i'd drive straight off the edge. taking, your own life with boredom i'm taking my own life with wine it helps you to rule out the sorrow it helps me to empty my mind making the most of a bad time i'm smoking the brains from my head leaving the cold calling the kettle black the orange and red this kettle is seeing red i got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling incase you haven't heard i'm sick and tired of trying i wish you would take my radio to bathe with you plugged in and ready to fall shaking, like a dog shitting razor blades waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me waking up all alone waking up so relieved while you're taking your time with apologys i'm planning out my revenge red eyes on orange horizons if colombus was wrong i'd drive straight off the edge i'm seeing red i've got a big fat fucking bone to pick with you my darling incase you haven't heard i'm sick and tired of trying i wish you would take my radio to bathe with you plugged in and ready to fall plugged in and ready to fall." i love you. -rachel beautiful: i miss you. but that's no suprise. y'know that creepy sound i kept hearing outside? i think it's gone now. either that or i've grown used to it. and i'm not sure how i could've grown used to the sound of some giant bullfrog so quickly. it's gone.. i hope. i'm happy, rachel. you should see me. i'm wearing a bindi you gave me and dark eyemakeup and big pants and lots of bracelets and i feel like a littl punk pixie, but i know i could never live up to the title. but i love you, and that's a fact. i want to watch more of the video tonight.. that is, part of me wants to, part of me wants to save it for later. but i can't always save it for later. have to watch it at some point, y'know? you said you were going to call fifteen minutes ago.. i hope you don't forget about me. i love you, rachel. more than anything in this house, or outside its walls, even throughout the entire neighborhood, city, state, world, universe. i love you more than this. you are beautiful in my eyes and in my heart, and i will always be cheesy and dramatic when i speak to you of how much i miss you, because we are the Drama Queens of Cheese. you're still my twin. forever. and i'll see you soon. just think about it! getting to hug you again. i bet i cry! i bet my shiny canadian nickel i'll bawl my eyes out. i guess that's the way it is. but i'll get to hold you again, and that's what counts. you're my bumping rainbow shoulder twin chin. okay. i'm going to go watch Hook until you call me, if you call me, if you can.. and if you don't you'll read this and know i love you. and know i miss you. and know i'm semi-happy, except for the absence of you. just know we'll be together again soon, okay? listen to music. until your ears are sore. don't listen to parents when they say you're going deaf just listen to the music and let it sweep you off your feet take you to places only existing in our minds only existing when mixed with the beat and the lyrics of that song you heard that time in that place with that person... find the bookmark flip back to the page and while turning up the volume you're reliving it the memory the memory of perfection at the tips of our fingers our love is documented by the music that we listen to -moth p.s. i love you. " she says her life is like... some movie... black and white" i wish on the weekends everything was black and white. that'd be so cool. and our music could be the soundtrack. man,that would be so neat. i'm eating potatoes. mashed potatoes. and drinking orange juice. with pulp. orange juice is ten million times better WIThpulp than without it. i just realized, i had a dream last night. wow well i'm talking to you. so i don't have too much to say. but i love you, a lot. more than you'll ever know. more than i'll ever be able to let anyone know, ithink. i love you my twin. -rachel i just watched our videos. ... there's really nothing to say. maybe if you could see my face you'd know how much i miss you. you'll get to see it soon. it's all there. nothing cut out, nothing cut short. lots of sadness. lots of silliness. lots of rachel. lots of naomi. you and me. it's sort of hard to believe we were together.. that we could hug each other. just look at each other. the airport scene is -unbearable-. and of course i just had to tell you.. just had to say you mean everything. more than anything. just had to say you're beautiful. you're in my heart. the memories you gave me won't, can't fade. i'll see your face again, and i'll tell you all these things once more. but do i love you's ever grow old? i don't think so. not when you're the one saying it. you're my best friend. i love you ... so much... -moth hi naomi! i love you a lot. more than almost anything. i'm really happy. and i'm really hyper. and i really look like shit! y'know.. sometimes i really appreciate looking bad! it's like, yeah! fuck it! i'm so overjoyed it doesn't matter. i just wish you were here to see me in this annoying state! states! penny! texaSS you know the deal.i'm sorry miss jackson!!!!! i am fo' real!!!! nevah meant to make ya daughta' cry! don't forget we're gonne become blood buddies at camp. ai'ighT? this is a really good song. really really good. eve. love is blind. it's about ... yeah. a girl who god pregnant bye a guy... " love is blind and it will take over your mind what you think is love is truly not you need to elevate and find" well i love you naomi. you mean the world and a half to me. i love you. i miss you. i'll see you soon. i'm working on your package.. and.. yeah. can't wait to send it:) i love you. miss naomi. mwahmwah. -rachel a note for a rachel from a naomi who was about to take a bath i just talked to you, and it was a good, good thing. because i have not talked to you in too, too long. and i miss you way, way too much. and i hope you're so, so happy. because i love, love you. rachel constance compton. it's true. and when i think about getting a package of rachelness goodness i get very, very excited. i love you more than you know. see you in august :) 1.. 2... 3.... I LOVE YOU mmmm... food is so good. you're camping, i think. and i really miss you lately. too much. we got a new cordless phone, and it reminded me of you for some reason. hmph. everything seems to, ya know. i can't believe i'm not going to see you for, five months, but y'know, i've lived fifteen years without you, i guess i can live five months.
we have to go out early, together, okay?
okay.i'm drinking peach juice.
i love juice.
well i'm off to send some words of love to some hot people, and take a shower, and go to see my friend daphne.
wish i was seeing you, though.
hey, is sweepie home yet?
i miss you always. and i love you even always more.
love,
NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 115 times, last edited on March 25, 2001 by 152.163.213.194. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
