In Timid Ation

So. You're intimidated by certain people right? You were at camp too, right? And maybe you let your intimidation/fear/whatever get in the way of actually getting to know those people and see them as people, not scary-loftly-above-you-too-cool types. Perhaps?

I know I did. At 1^st session I didn't even question it. I mean, to me there were people that I felt comfortable talking to, so I talked to them, and then there were people that for whatever reasons I most definitely was not comfortable talking to, so I didn't talk to them, even if I sort of wanted to. Then some stuff happened that made me way more aware of how I was acting and how everyone else was acting as well, so that by 2^nd session, I started a personal war on not letting intimidation of people stop me from talking to them.

I still am not sure if I could have done it if other people hadn't given me their support. But I did end up talking to alot of people that I was scared to talk to, and lo and behold, none of them brushed me off, and most of them said that they were intimidated by alot of people too.

So I guess all of this is a round-about way of bringing up this subject: Intimidation. I don't think people talk about it enough. I haven't figured out if this is because I'm one of the only people who actually feels this way, or if it's because everyone is so used to seeing some people as approachable and some people as not. In the Embarrassment workshop I lead 2^nd session, it definitely seemed like most people feel unnecessary intimidation towards other people, but we didn't get that much time to really talk about it, and I'm really curious what others have to say about all this.

Whee for intimidation!

~Becky~

Before i went to camp, everyone warned me that i may be intimidated by certain people. so i was kind of expecting to be intimidated. but... i'm very very glad to say, that there wasn't a SINGLE person at camp who intimidated me! yay! this is good.

i'm also (selfishly) curious, because this is something i've been working on.. was anyone at all intimidated by me?

(and by working on, i mean trying not to be)

very good page becky, very interesting topic...

RoyaBoya

• Roya darling, this is funny to say, but there are times when I feel intimidated by you. The way you just go out and get things, the energy you give off...sometimes I feel like I can't approach you because you're busy being outgoing and sparkly, and you'll just brush me off. Though again it's hard to say if this is you, or me, or something else entirely. I love ya, ~Becky~

Hmm. Intimidation is a puzzling thing, is it not?

I'm intimidated a lot by people who seem world-weary, or who have lived lives that seem really diverse and difficult in comparison to my own. Usually I'm intimidated because I really admire them, and it's hard, in my own mind, to validate going up and talking to such an interesting person when I feel so dull and sheltered myself. I also tend to assume that extroverted people, regardless of whether I'm intimidated by them or not, won't be interested in talking or spending time with me, because I don't sparkle the way they do. I don't know that those assumptions are true, but I think that way a lot.

As for me, well. . . I don't think I'm impressive enough as a person to really be intimidating, but I suspect that I don't seem very friendly, sometimes. I don't really know what to do about that; reaching out to people is hard for me, and sometimes it seems like I snap off a bit of myself each time I talk to someone new. After a while I have to retreat and regenerate all the missing pieces.

Eeesh. I'm rambling. But anyway, I do think that intimidation's worth talking about, and it should definitely be questioned. What are we afraid of, anyway?

I'm intimidated by everyone. Yes, everyone. Or rather, everyone I don't know well yet... I have met some people who have totally set me at my ease within a week or so of knowing them, but with most people it takes me a year or so to really get over being intimidated. If I know someone likes me I'm less likely to feel intimidated.

• I like you Marina.

Intimidaion, huh? Interesting topic indeed. First time I came to camp, I was surrounded by people hugging the bejezzus out of each other. Boy howdy, that was a weird feeling. For the first couple days at camp, I just hanged out in the background being intimidated by everyone. But after the few first days, I just got back to my normal joke tellin self. So I would have to say, intimidation by people at NBTSC is alien feeling to me now. But at the start, I couldn't have been more so. And I can tell you this, Becky intimidated the heck out of me longer that that. She was too outgoing and wise for me to talk to. Thank god for lesbian excuses. :)

Ben S.

Other people. Yeah, I'm intimidated by other people; in fact, by almost everyone. Usually I just have to make that move, start talking to them for real, and I get over it... but until then, I look on and I wonder how anyone could like me compared to them. Especially deep people intimidate me, more interesting people, beautiful people, huggy people, glittery people you name it I'm intimidated by it.

Me. Like Amy said.. I don't think I'm that impressive of a person either, so I don't imagine that I could be very intimidating. I do think that I come off as unfriendly, possibly snooty. Some people are shy and sensitive and manage to come off as really sweet and beautiful because of it I think I just come off as awkward and dumb. Sometimes, I wish I was the kind of person who had enough of a presense to intimidate people, the kind of person who can walk into a room and light it up.

  *Yeah! --Emma

I am horribly, horribly intimidated by people who seem serious. Or are the "anguished beatuiful people" type. Knowwaddamean? People who don't smile back at you. It's awful. I can't deal. I need to know that people like me, or, at least, are open to people liking me. If they just frown, or their gaze glances over me like they didn't see me, I get a feeling of "You're not impressive/cool/deep enough for me."

And I hate that. That = sludge. 'Cause I always believe the feeling, even if it's only in my head.

As for me... la la la la la... I don't think I am. Although I have been told that I am, and I try really hard not to be. Really hard. I want to be impressive, yes. Standoffish, no.

Likeme! Likeme! Likeme! <---------- such is human nature

Ever yours, -Samantha

• samantha, i think i'll take this opportunity to tell you that i've always wanted to get to know you better...

I just wanted to say how proud of myself for not being intimidated of cute guys on the train today. I wrote a poem about two of them and when they asked why I was staring at them (heh heh) I told them, and actually talked to them without blushing, and then I had this really cool conversation with this other cute guy who drew my portrait. (!!!) So yeah, I'm proud of myself. I wouldn't have been able to do this a year ago, or even two months ago.