I have a theory. My theory is that alot of unschoolers have a secret desire to be kidnapped. Oh, they might not tell you right out, just conveniently let you see the floor plans to their house, casually mention how much rope it might take to restrain them, what might keep them quiet while they were being kidnapped, WHO they might want to kidnap them even, and where they might wish to be taken once they were kidnapped. The list of things they'll tell you just grows longer and more sickening. So I decided to create a page for these perverse sickos, because yes...even I share some of these fantasies. Let us no longer hang our heads in shame, but proudly proclaim to the unschooling world, that yes....we wish to be kidnapped!! Yours in crime, ~Becky~ Enter the drive through at Tim Hortons in a large black van, threaten them with a bomb explosion unless they release me at once. Smuggle me into the van and flee to the border. Bring spair change of clothes for me. -Dawn, who will bribe you with donuts you all have kidnaped my heart but then again i have your soul tucked away under my arm. Handbook of Rules and Regulations Regarding the Pursuit of Eire: Kidnapper must be prepared to pay attention to me, lots of it, even in the midst of a crowd of adoring fans. I don't like being ignored. I live on the third floor, so you may want to look up how to transmorgify into a small animal that's able to climb trecharous surfaces. If not, then some climbing lessons will suffice. I have a back porch that's usually open, if that helps. Whisper sweet yet witty nothings into my ear to convince me along, which will work even if you're not drop-dead gorgeous. Feed me pizza and cheese. Take me to a place where I can work and earn enough money to travel onwards, later. As well, I want a place where lots of adventures and danger is abound. Kidnapper may want to teach me unadvisable activities such as sex and freight-hopping. If you're nice, I'll cook for you. The end.
Kidnapping Ali in Three Easy Steps:
the fine print. You should probably clear with my parents before you actually kidnap me. And me, for that matter. A few weeks (at least) in advance. Rules and Regulations:
...that's all, folks. Things to keep in mind when kidnapping Fiona: The door's most likely unlocked if we're home, but if we're not, it's pretty easy to get a ladder up to the porch, where you can easily break in. No big animals or anything to attack you as you're trying to get me into your car/bus/othermodeoftransportationgoeshere, but my parents might put up a fight. I certainly won't, so long as you take me somewhere with campers or would-be campers or otherwise cool people. I'd prefer it if there was an ice rink by wherever you take me, even if it's a 45 minute drive, but it's not a requirement. My only real requirements are these:
Other than that, I'm easy. Come kidnap me! how to kidnap me (Sir Thomas Stewart of ridgway) well I Have a nice big dog that like the way people taist so... bring some dog treats and you got him out of the way.. myself one the other hand you have to be A: be a great person to talk to B: you gotta have some sort of rilly good food for me C: be a be a rilly atractive pirson and have food or just good lookin or you gotta be funny. oh you also have to be quiet. um hey humain thief if your not Any of the above i sleep with a rilly big knife. those of you who are one or more of the above i STILL sleep wiath a big knife and i know alsorts ok teakwondo so if you scere the hell out of my i MIGHT kill you. if your a girl you wont have to worry i DONT HIT GIRLS (unless they are trying to kill me) Oh and you sloud take my some were fun! not like disney world like some were ......Romantic........*wink* love y'all Thomas There aren't many rules to kidnapping Mari. One rule being that the kidnapper knows Mari's name and -doesn't- call her Marrisa or Marissa (pronounced Muh-riss-uh. please don't call me that.) Another rule being that the kidnapper does not punch alot, 'cause Mari doesn't punch back. Beyond that, it's all up to you, baby! (grin) Some good reasons to kidnap me: I'm quiet if ya want me to be, as long as you don't give me chocolate. And I'm loud if you want me to be, as long as you give me chocolate. (Note: bring chocolate. preferably non-milk kind.) You can take me to your house and make me cook you some dinner. I can cook refried beans, red rice, vegetarian spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, sushi, and apple pie. I'm pretty good at reading maps, so you can take me along to some other kidnappings. I'll be way overjoyed to be kidnapped, and might even ramble a bit about being happy to leave work and school and hit the road. Yay! You see, I don't really have any set qualifications for a kidnapper. They just gotta be nice, take a bath every once in a while, and have chocolate. Bring a ladder-- My room's at the back of the house, upstairs-- you can't miss it. You can jump in the pool if ya want, but take off the cover first! My dog might bite you, but it's a love bite. She probably won't even bark. Bring her a carrot and she'll probably leave you alone. I'll lick your butt whenever you want. So come and fuck me.
Dear prospective kidnapper, here are a few preliminary qualifications; 1) must have large supply of milk chocolate on hand at all times 2) luv to dance 3) gives a great back massage 4)be open to trying new things, such as going fishing at midnight, or jumping off a dock or into a pool fully clothed, having a whipped cream fight... 5)owns a car (not neccesary, but certainly a plus!) 6)has access to computer with internet 7)will listen and talk for hours on end on a variety of topics... 8) people with a good sense of humor are most heartily reccomended to apply 9)having a strong liking to music is also a plus! 10) must be game to stay up till the wee hours of morning... my house is red, and right near the road. My bedroom is at the back of the house, almost directly across from the back door. The window into my room has no screen, and a very flimsy lock, so feel free to enter through it. If you prefer, the basement window (2nd one) opens quite easily from the outside as well, so whichever way you prefer to enter, the choice is yours. Hope to see ya soon:) ~Jasmine S. p.s. tuesdays and fridays are the days i'll most likely be home, and if i'm not in my room, check the fields across the road.
I wouldn't mind a kidnapping now and then, it would brighten my day so much if someone showed up, and dragged me out of my house. Houseplans: It is on the far side of the house on the upper floor, across from Nick's. So I would suggest entering through the front door, go up the stairs, turn right and walk down the hallway, my door is the second on the right. If I am not there I am at a computer and I think you can find the kitchen, if you can't then you don't deserve to kidnap me. Keep in mind I do have to work and I have a family so I can't stay kidnapped forever. I would like the kidnappers to be interesting people who won't force me to listen to PinkFloyd, Phish, or Tori Amos for hours on end. That would be torture. You have to be able to read something other then John Grisham and cute guys are heartily encouraged to kidnap me. (you know who you are..Michael) In exchange I will show you a good time. so kidnap my ass (and the rest of me too) -Gennie Well... I'd like to be kidnapped, but only under certain conditions. These conditions are listed below: 1) The kidnapper must be an unschooler, if not in fact, at least in heart. 2) Said kidnapper must be willing to discuss weird philosophical and psychological stuff, up to and including the ethic ramifications of kidnapping. Bonus points if said kidnapper has a computer with a fast internet connection. Even more bonus points if they take me to an unschooler party. My room is the one closest to the street, and has it's own door. Probably between 11 and 1 is the best time to kidnap me, cause I'm awake and the rest of my family is asleep. If you knock on the door and say my name I will be so unutterably curious I will go over and open the door, and then it'll all be over. If I am asleep, however, you can walk across the porch, stumble over the bikes, take the key off a nail on the post, unlock my door, stumble through the mess of my room, climb the ladder into my loft and drag me out. I think it'd be easier to just play on my naivete and come when I'm awake, but that's just me. Good luck!
Thank you. okay, yeah, general rules apply, like being a cool person and stuff, and being willing to do interesting things after i'm kidnapped. along those lines, i hope this info will help people out a bit... my house is two-storied, and my room is on the bottom floor, when you're facing the house from the front yard it is the room furthermost on the right. i am very often up really late, and it is not unusual that people show up at my house at those hours, so that would always be a good time, because i may or may not be home in the daytime, in which case your efforts would be wasted. probably the best thing to do is come up and knock on my window, because that will trick me into going and letting you in, since close friends are usually the only ones that do that sort of thing. probably the only challenge you'll have is putting up with my endless list of excuses not to leave town for an extended amount of time. common ones include "college classes" and "regular job", but probably if you get past those, i might resort to stupid excuses, in which case you've done the job. if i think of more that might help you out, i will add it later.. -courtney As long as you're a good friend of mine and I don't have any major exams, rehearsals, or performances planned, I probably want to be kidnapped. My bedroom is at the front of the house and I'm not very strong. You'll need to feed me plenty of candy and return me eventually, and it'll be a lot more fun if we go visit other campers, preferably ones I don't get to see very often. Hell, we can kidnap them, too. We can just rent a U-Haul or something. Or we could just go to Europe. That would be good. Anyway, back to ME...I'll need places to take dance classes as well as candy. I need all my stuff, which generally fits into one backpack. You'll probably have to take me thrifting at some point, as I won't have clean clothes to change into. Thank you. - Emma
The best times to kidnap me from my house, is when I am there, which is alot of the time that I am not gone, and I am willing to be taken most any place, as long as my kidnapper is going there too, the best ways to get me to go with you is with any one of the fallowing: have something shiny, be ressonably cute, be fun to hang out with, have chocolet, have cookies, have an interesting point of vew on alnmost anything, or any other nuber of things that unschoolers are commin for.
when kidnapping me, doing something like telling me that you are just going to come by and visit, or some other such silly thing can be a good way to make sure I am around, but that is not alwasy needed.
my room is the one strait ahead at the top of the stairs, I will either be there, in the kitchen, or in my workshop (large red barn, very hard to miss), I am extreamly flexable, so almost any day of the week works, and if you have a car, I would perfer shotgun, insted of the back seat.
Becky's critiria for being kidnapped, and handy hints and tips for potential kidnappers: Ok...here's the qualities I look for in a kidnapper: 1. Must be prompt, don't sugjest kidnapping me and then never show up. 2. Kidnapper must be an unschooler, or someone of open-minded, interesting, and fairly intelligent beliefs; I expect good conversation! 3. I'd appreciate being kidnapped by someone I know at least somewhat, as that makes it so much more comfortable. 4. Kidnapper must take me somewhere interesting; old deserted warehouses or dark alleyways don't count. 5. Candy is a big, big plus, especially chocolate. 6. Kidnapper must be at least a little chivalrous. Please, if you're going to tie me up, do it loosely, and take pity on me within a few minutes. Tips for spiriting me away: My room is straight down the hallway from the front door, (after you go through the living room) to the left. My room has a reasonably large window. [1] My room is somewhat out of the way from the rest of the house, so it would probably be pretty easy for you to get me out without a fuss. Give me chocolate or some other kind of candy, and I'll do whatever you want. I'm guessing that I could be restrained with about a yard or so of rope, though I'd rather not be tied up if it can be helped. -Being charasmatic, good-looking, or persuasive is very much in your favor! If you fit one or more of these, you probably won't need the rope at all!- I think that's all for now. ~Becky~ How to kidnap a Roya, brought to you by Roya Inc.: for all of you confused kidnappers out there, don't worry! there is still time to kidnap roya! it's easy, and it's cheap! first, the directions:in front of her house there are two driveways. One is large and goes to the front door. AVOID that one. the other is smaller, and leads right up to...her window! yes, that is the right one to approach! however, roya is a rather paranoid person, so it's best to drop some form of hint beforehand that you are planning a kidnapping, so she will not freak out and hit you over the head with a trophy, when you suddenly appear at her window. if you like a more difficult kidnapping, you can always go to the fence next to that driveway, open it, and go to the window there. i mean, if you really want to make things harder. Roya likes handcuffs, so that's the best way to assure that she will not escape. Or those chinese finger traps. gets her every time. in order to be eligible to kidnap roya, said kidnapper must have three or more of these qualities:
we at Roya inc. wish you much luck in kidnapping Roya, and thank you for your time. (if you kidnap within the next ten minutes, we will throw in an extra personality, for free!)
Emily's tips and hints for kidnappers planning on kidnapping her:
first of all it would be a good idea if you had a good, well thought out plan on how to go about kidnapping me and what you plan on doing with me afterwords. It would also be a good idea if you dropped some sort of hint to the fact that you might just be kidnapping me. but BE SUBTLE.
first off it would be a good idea if you brought some sort of treat for the dog or knew her, or she will bark and give you away. unless of course you find some way of tricking me into actually letting you in, in that case she'll be fine. the best time for getting me is actually in daylight. if you come between about 10 and 4 during the week, nobody but me will be home. i think the best way is for you to go thru the side gate and then thru the (usually) unlocked back door. sneak up behind me and blindfold me while handing me candy or some such thing to keep me interested. it also might be a good idea if you said who you were, so i dont try and hit you over the head with something. good luck and be weary of the dog. what it takes to kidnap naomi: uhh, bravery? i've got a rottweiler that would rip out your jagular and a father that would flog you with a baseball bat. aside from those dangers, you won't have much to worry about, i certainly won't have any complaints.. that is, as long as you're an interesting, talkative person (attractive males major plus). but don't think you're the first to try this... many friends have attempted kidnapping me, but all in vain. my parents are almost as stubborn as me. must be a gene or something. but the good thing is, they're also completely illogical! (something i pray we don't have in common) therefore, if you are a good debater and enjoy arguments with totally senseless and hard-headed parents, you might be the kidnapper for me. good luck!
-moth
What does it take to kidnap that new girl named, what was it? Rae? Lets see. I dont have quite the requirements that the others have, I'm fairly easy to kidnap. My room is the closest to the front of the house. Just whisper my name through the window and, like in all those kidnapping horror movies, I'll wander out to see who (or what) it is. Done. Also you could try my friends approach. They knock on the door and innocently stroll in after i open it. They pretend as though they just stopped in to say hi, grab me, and drag me out the door. Either that or tell me when to meet you at the train station. I'll be there. [1] That window is seriously perfect for kidnapping. I'm going to come and steal you in the middle of the night sometime, Becky. i'm gonna get kidnapped..some guy stole my wallet and it has my addy in it!!! sux for me... ~kymi~ Erynne is already going to be kidnapped twice, but after that she would really like to be kidnapped again. Or before, cause she doesn' know when her kidnappers are going to get around to it. My room connects to the living room, i don't have a good stealing window anymore. Erynne is a great nutella fan, and if you have a jar you can eat me if you give it to me. I will come at almost any time, but you have to let me get my knife first. Please come soon because I really miss the excitment in my life. ~erynne PLEASE KIDNAP ME!!! (Lindsey) How to do so: My address is in the Directory. Go to my house, Park on the curb, DO NOT go to the front door, go through the left hand sid gate, knock on the first door on the mane wall, knock on it, when I anser grab me, use rope and hand cufs, blind fold me, any kind of kinkey material is wanted, and TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS FUCKING PLACE!!! I will bribe you with plesure and candy! Other things(Just as important): Must have a car, Must be verry open minedid, Must be verry kinkey, Needs to be spontanious and fun! Should like good music, Has to like colate surup, Must have cloths and extra for me.
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