LOVE

Love is not the same as Need. Then what is it?

Love is when you kiss someone, and time stops; and there are no wars; and everything is okay again. No children are dying of hunger, no people are shooting each other. All is well again. Your lips are touching, and there are no problems anymore. That is what I think love is.

What is love? Baby don't hurt me..don't hurt me, no more

LOVE i now no what it is

i can feel it now

i have never felt this feeling befor

but now i no what its like

becose of you, i thank you for it

i no i love you and i no its true

that when i say i love you i mean it i mean it becouse i do

i love you i love you more than life

             *thomas stewart

love is letting him go because he doesn't feel the same way; love is wanting their happiness, not yours. -ali

I know what love is. Love is a phone call from 10:45 to a quarter to one. -Robyn

I crave him, his eyes and his hair, the slow sleepy looks he gives me when my wildly cavorting brain takes a jump that he can't follow, no matter how hard he tries, the look that brings me back down to earth and makes me actualy back up my un-logic leap with something akin to logic. The look that always ends in small giggles and quick kisses.

Don't think that's all it is though, I crave his physical persona, yes, I love feeling him near me, knowing that he's mine, feeling our hands clasped together, a slight touch of skin proclaiming to all the world that WE are. That we are a we, we we? he asked once, and I gave a small laugh, and affirmed we we.

But his mind, it travels alongside mine in the fantastic landscape of our thoughts and dreams. He watches with bemusment as my mind leaps from hard solid ground to the highest crumbling spire of the mountain of fancifullness, but then he jumps right along, which usually serves to cause me to retreat and become once more logically grounded.

We fight, we discuss, we argue, yet we always know where the other is and we always know that in the end, though we may not convince each other to our point of view, we have again instilled some of our own understanding into each other, and we come away with a little more understanding of the other and ourselves.

How can I explain???

It is like I am a blind firefly, filled with light, yet flitting from place to place, trying to find my corner in the world, and in doing so, never staying in one place long enough to learn how to shine. Then he comes, and he is my eyes, my heart, my mind, he guides me, without leading me. He allows me to think for myself and wander and even fall, but he always pads that fall, and he always gently turns me away from the darkest corners that I could wander into and be lost forever. There I would never learn to glow.

With him by my side, I am confident enough to shine brightly.

But despite this, despite all that I've said hereto, I don't know if I am in love with him. Let's not argue about the definitions of love, because I certainly do love him, just as I love Roya and Monika and Anselm and Heidi and not only everyone else on this list, but many others besides. And I know that what I feel for him goes even a little bit farther than that, I truly believe I would whither away to a shell if I could not ever talk to him or see him again. He truly is my best friend, my guiding light, my true north.

So far.

And can't someone who is only a friend be all this to you? Some conversations I've had with Anselm, Heidi and Roya have kept me just as sane as the ones I have with him. Am I exaggerating the way I feel simply because of the lust factor? Did it have to be him? Or could anyone else who had come into my life just at the moment he did, have fallen into the same role? Am I grasping him simply because I hate the lonlieness of not having half your existense wrapped up in being half of a couple.

I don't know. And I know very well that you don't either.

How can one person, one guy no less, mean all this to me and more.

I don't know, I doubt I ever will.

So for now, we go back, for the five steps we took forward this month I've been home, we'll now take three steps back. We're back to being friends, best friends even. But we're just a little bit closer than we were before, a little more in tune to each other's minds and hearts. Yet still, just friends. And it hurts, it hurts like hell.

But it actually hurts less than it did when we were supposedly together, yet he didn't call me. And would rather play video games than be with me. Now, he can do that without hurting me, but he doesn't. He likes being with me more when we're not "together" than he does when we are. I never have to wait for his calls when we're just friends, because he always does.

When we were together, he didn't want to see me, now that we're apart, he doesn't want to leave my side.

I hate irony with such a passion, you have no idea.

-Kristina

Geez folks I hate to say it, but I may know what you're talking about... - Jonah

Someone says he's in love with me. He says I'm one of the best things in his terrible life. Because we are at the same places all the time I can't shut my life off just for him so he has the pleasure of watching me flirt with various other guys. I know this is painful for him, but I do it because: 1. it's my only chance to flirt and have fun with these people. 2. Because it seems like it's the only way to make him understand that I have other intrests and I cant be with him all the time. 3. He's become jealous and posessive and I feel like its my duty to break free.

I remember being in a very similar position when I thought I was in love with someone, and had to listin to him talk about his girlfriend all the time. I wrote this to justify what I was feeling at the time, then I realized maybe the guy who has a crush on me should read it. then I thought maybe some of you might like it:

They call it love. It is a feeling two people have for eachother. When you're in love with someone that person is your other half. You're not complete without them, and they're not complete without you. But you have this special little place for them in the back of you're mind, so whatever you're doing, they're always there.

Two become one they share houses and rooms and beds because they are the same person, they're not identicle, but rather two halfs of one whole. Each one is the part of the other where the happiness is held.

I might never know this kind of love. My oh-so-few attembts at love hsave taught me that people find eachother and leave me behind. But I see their happiness. They don't mean to leave me behind, they just can't help it. And if I was in their possition I'd do the same.

But part of me has accepted that I'll never know the feeling. At least not mutually . But even if I turn 80 years old and have not one love. I want other people to. I want people I care about to have that same feeling. Because if something so beautiful really can exist, I want it too. No matter where no matter who. So I can see the happiness on their faces, and I know that love exists. And that someone is feeling the happiness that they deserve... Even if it's not me.

-Susannah

I was talking with a friend on AIM last night, and she asked me, "What is the opposite of time?" Right away, out of nowhere I answered, "Love and loneliness." I don't know how I knew so immediately. But love... I've found you can spend an hour with someone you love and it seems like weeks, or a week with people you love and you can't decide whether it's been 3 hours or a year. (Y'll know where I'm coming from on this one...) Loneliness... loneliness to me doesn't seem to have anything to do with time. It's something completely seperate from time. You can not miss a person for a month and all of a sudden you're crying you miss them so much. Or the other way around.

Then I was thinking, aren't love and loneliness just two aspects of the same thing? Like one of those horseshoe magnets. Or a cat with a piece of buttered toast strapped to it's back, just slowly spinning round and round in the air. (I know that's a weird image, but you know what I mean.) Any thoughts? -marina

• ooh! question! how does this mesh with idears of afterlife...like after you die, your soul is more or less resolved and decides between love and loneliness? like, in this world we can experience both, even at the same time, but after you die...maybe there's something about spirits, that they are attracted (like magnets) either to love or loneliness? ~Wind, feeling inspired, but not eloquent

~Love? What's that?

• Love? The kind you clean up with the mop and bucket? -NickV

Any thoughts anyone?~

Love is friendship on fire.

            RuthStewart

*******************

There are so many lines in life, so many little separations between one thing and another. . . . so small, they're hardly even there and yet the two sides seem so completely different. We ("we" being used to generalize the human population) fear what we love, for that is what we can most be hurt by, and we hate the things we fear. I've realized lately that the people I love the very absolute most, I am also on the brink of hating. Examples. . . .

I can't stop smiling when I'm near her. We laugh and talk and cry, and I feel light and free and utterly content in the knowledge that I love and am loved but when she's angry I feel shattered, and her pain makes me bleed inside. When she spends time with someone else the jealousy breeds havoc in my mind, and I sometimes hate both her and myself for allowing anyone to have that kind of power over me.

He's known me forever, and I share everything that comes into my mind: momentary fears, anxiety, sudden joys, hope, ideas. But when I told him a long-held dream of mine, he laughed in my face. Sometimes he tells me to shut up, and I feel bruised and uncertain inside, because I don't trust him the way I used to and yet I don't know how to stop acting like I do.

I love her smile, the way her eyes sparkle when she's happy, the small tokens of friendship she slips into my hands at odd moments; little things like tiny rubber frogs and scraps of shiny fabrics. But sometimes I feel like she's a thousand miles away, in a place where I am neither invited nor wanted, and I miss the warm smile that seems to have turned to ice inside her eyes.

I don't know if everyone hovers on the brink like this, but I know that I do, and sometimes I think that the hardest thing in the entire world is to keep on loving someone, because it never seems to stop hurting. Amy

love, eh? what is love? is it anything? can it be held, or seen, or heard or tasted... why yes, of course. because i am love. don't you fret.. you're love too. love is what we are as a whole, it's what we are as individuals. love is when we hold something in our hand and stare at it longingly, or look into someone's eyes. the soft light hairs on our arms, those are love. your favorite coffee mug is love. love is like matter, it is the true essence of all existence. something broken into tiny love particles. now love can make you cry and love can make you sing... it can make you sick and it can heal your wounds. it can be put in a box or kept in your pocket, it can be yours and no one elses. or you can wear it on your sleeve and bless me with it. it's your choice. use it how you wish. but don't limit it. it's bigger than you and i, but in the same sense... it is you and i. so love, and never stop. "and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make". and i could go on and on... ~naomi, with love~

I often feel like an anthropologist, seperated from, yet always watching, people who are in love. But I am the rarity, I am the anomality. First love is something you go through, like the chicken pox. Painful but nescessary. And those who haven't had it are dangerously vulnerable. - Naela

'Love is like a snowmobile, racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come.' Matt Groening, 'Love is Hell'

My boyfriend is also my best friend. We don't offen have arguments, and when we do, they are about small things like not to watch the tv while he is on the phone with me, and wether or not to kill the spider that is on the window. I wonder if us not having arguments is a sign of us not being very close. Maybe it is just a sign that we have alot of the same intrests, and that we do not often get into a situation where we have to argue. Whenever I am away from him, I feel like I am empty, like someone has scooped out all of my insides. But it also bothers me, because I don't feel very independant any more. My independance is one thing that I tresure greatly. And I would be very sad to loose it. I wish there was a way of feeling like I am a part of him, While still feeling independantenough to function fully on my own.

         - Amy

I think many people have a funny notion that if there is love, everything is solved. except for unconditional love, between a parent and child, love is a conscious decision. Love is difficult. Love is having to let go of your pride. Love is trying everyday, even when you don't feel like it. Love is thinking of someone other then yourself. The horrible thing about love is, when you love someone, and you give yourself to them...and they don't in return. Another thing that most people don't notice is that love is a rather modern invention. Especially love within marriage. I think people are a bit spoiled by this rather lovely thing. Especially when it comes to marriage. I think a number of people don't think love as something you work at. Love is hard. Loving someone is letting go of your ego, and trying to be empathetic to another person. Love is letting someone in, where you are vunerable. It is trusting someone, and gaining someone else's trust. Love is not easy, nor is it always kind. Gennie

Love is a word I use often, because it is an emotion I feel often. Some people might argue about what exactly love means (or in love or whatever...like the *icks did, not to name names or anything), but to me love is love and it can be felt for anyone/thing or just general everythingness. I love to love people, appreciate them, no matter what they are doing or what they think about me or anyone else or anything else, because it feels good to loveunconditionally. Like a quote: "I love because I am a lover, not because you are loveable". But most people are loveable that I know :) at least in my eyes. ~Erin

I'm embarassed to admit I read a book called "How to Escape your Comfort Zones" but some of these thoughts on love from the book rang true for me. ~reanna

"The more readily and completely one can express his real self to another person, the more deeply he can love. So love is essentially communication at it's very deepest level."

"In a mutually dynamc and receptive relationship, one plus one can equal three or three thousand. Love is also much more than admiration or physical attraction. For example, a man may love a woman (or a woman a man) becuse she (or he) is beautiful, talented, competent, hardworking, successful. This is not love. It is approval. Love depends not on the attributes of the love object, but upon the individual's ability to love. This ability does not come naturally it must be cultivated. ..."

"We may think we are in love because of the way another person makes us feel, but love is not delight in Me; it is self-realization together in Us. .... Love is self-discovery and self-fulfillment through healthy growth with and for the other person."

"Sociologist Robert Winch, after an extensive eight-year study of couples: The love of a man for a woman or a woman for a man is basically self-serving; it's primary perpose is to benifit the lover, not the beloved. Each of us tends to fall in love with someone whose personality is the compliment of our own and through whom we can relieve our own frustrations and vicariously live out our impossible wishes."

Love is both the biggest happiness and the biggest sorrow of life. Love heals, and love hurts. Love strengthens and love weakens. Love lifts you up, and often drops you in the mud afterward. But i thinks it's better to be lifted up, dropped in the mud and then lifted up again, than to never be lifted up at all.

"The course of true love never did run smooth" ~Shakespeare 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'

what is love? i dont know anymore. love is a confusion. a mistake. a secret you told your best friend. it's something that happens, but not without your permission. it's confusing and often aching and yet it's what we turn to when all else fails.

love is having the courage to say i'm sorry.

to love someone is to do everything within your power to not seriously hurt that person. to love someone is to be honest and share pieces of your soul with them. to love is to extend energy and care to a person; to want to be with that person, to think about that person in your day-to-day life, even when they aren't around. to listen when they need someone to talk to, even if you can't relate. to defend them when their integrity is being questioned. to have the strength to be honest.

this is my definition of love anyway.

but there's a million "sectors" of love. how do you define love? what is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? and where are the invisible lines between being sexual with someone and being affectionate with someone? it all ties in together.

any opinions are welcome.

xoxo jennyrose

Love is not feeling like you have to be someone you're not to make the other person happy.

Gotta point you to SummerCanWrite because I just found it (sneaky girl) and it's topical. (Apply to brain in circular motion, wait five minutes, rinse with warm water.) Reanna

Best not to define, I think.

MichaelDelaney

Love love love. Yada yada yada. I think many books almost spoil us to the reality of it, or make us bad at recognizing it. Too much rhapsodizing. Too much flowery, over the top, or abstracted language. Abstraction that glazes over the vast array of little feelings of the moments that make up the hours that make up the days... "What is love?" used to keep me up at night. And "how do I know I love my family? I mean, I'm sure I do, because I'm pretty normal in most other regards, and most people do, and I don't have any reason to hate them... but how do I know I do?" I thought maybe the measure was how upset I'd be if they died or went away, and I'd think about that happening until it made me cry.

 /Reanna/

SummerLikeTheSeason thinks love could quite possible defined by that lovely truism "when you're in love, you just know it." Since people say it and believe it so much, and it seems to be the only constant with all the different kinds of love we got in the world these days (yay), maybe it's the only way love can be defined. In other words Love *is* knowing you're in love. Whatcha think?

 "We are not lovers
 because of the love
 we make
 but the love
 we have"
 ~Nikki Giovanni

When I loved William, I knew I was in love. I thought about him all the time, dreamed of him, and longed to kiss him and be held by him. William talked about love being something that keeps people together, so when he decided he no longer cared, that was it, and goodbye.

Now that's over, and I wonder whether I love James or not. James is new to my life but he seems like a real old friend. We can joke, talk and help one another out. I can ask him for help when I need and know that he doesn't mind. He can say no to me, can laugh at me, and can accept when I can't explain myself.

He talks about love and duty together... people loving each other because they've decided they want to stay together, and not the other way around. I know I love him, but I don't know that I'm "in love", if that makes any sense. I know I want him to be a part of my life for a long, long time.

(just my little ramblings on love) - Siliny Kaline (aka ChristyTaylor)

• Hey Christy :) I saw this a long time ago, but for some reason it didn't hit me to respond until today. What you wrote makes so much sense... I mean, it's a rambling about love that's to-the-point and not confusing! And I agree with a lot of it, especially the part about loving each other because you want to stay together. ~Eryn

"Let him who loves prosper. Let him who loves not, perish. And let him who forbids others to love, perish twice over." - Graffiti from the walls of Pompeii

i think there's something between the idea of Love, and that quote that someone once said: "NoIdeasButInThings".

                            Foolish notion of love

Brush that tear away from the dusty floor.

Leave no sign that your sorrow has touched this forgotten memmory.

This foolish dream of love plauges me with thoughts of her.

This nieve notion of love has crushed me under the weight of its veil of lies.

There is no true love

        Damn those who believe they love. 

When I was up in Alberta Canada visiting Dawn and Shippy, I went for a walk with Shippy on a lovely spring day. It was then, when we got to talking about relationships, that she introduced to me a new idea I'd never thought of: that you shouldn't marry someone for love, but to start a family. I was really surprised at first, but now it actually makes a lot of sense to me. I don't think I'd want to live my whole life with someone I was "in love" with... there would be too many issues to deal with, too much room for hurt and expectations and disappointments. If/when I marry, I want my husband (or wife! hehe) to be a friendly companion who will support me and be a good partner in crime, but not a lover. Hope I'm making sense. :) *~Eryn

• Whoa. Now there's a thought. You think you'll really do that? Don't you think if you're really in love with someone, you'll want to "have your kids with them"? ~reanna
• Only if we were dedicated enough to cooperate together in raising them. I'm not sure that it would be a practical thing to raise kids with someone I'm completely in love with... because love seems such an insecure thing, and it takes a lot of work to concentrate on a relationship, and children are such a big thing to handle if you're juggling a romantic relationship. That's why Shippy's idea makes sense to me, why I might be more comfortable raising children with someone I don't have to deal with "relationship issues" with. But then again, it's just a thought. I don't have to decide about this now (I'm only sixteen!) :) *~Eryn
• I can see the point, but that's not the way it works for me. I have a romantic, Love With A Capital L relationship with Zack, but that's not all. the Love doesn't make the relationship... we've decided to be together. it would not be easy to break away from each other now, but it's not impossible. we consciously choose to be in this relationship. a large part of that decision is that neither of us could see having a family with anyone else. we dream together... of a house, of children, of domesticity and coming home from a job to greet each other, of back rubs and fire places and making love in a bed we share, of cooking meals, of dealing with everyday frustrations, together. ~becca~

• Yeah, well, and who really gets to decide these things anyway? I guess it's just another possibility to be open to, should it come to seem to be the right thing to do. Reanna

• I can't believe that love (of the romantic variety) and family are mutually exclusive. Granted, right now I can't imagine starting a family with someone I love, but on the other hand, I can't yet imagine raising a family, period. I'd like to think that if I lived with someone for a few years, and got used to being around her most days, we'd get to the point where we could successfully raise a family and still be in love. My parents pulled it off. Of course they had to make a lot of changes in their lives when I was born, but they didn't have to stop loving each other. And as far back as I can remember, it's made me feel happy and secure to see how madly in love they are. They managed to raise a pretty a fine human being, too. It seems excessive to marry someone just because you kind of like them and would like to raise children with them. But if you are in love with your spouse, it might be difficult to take away from your time together by comitting to your child. It's all a matter of balance. Going to the extreme, in either direction, won't benefit anyone. Mitchell

I can see the reasoning behind marrage with raising children in mind, over marrage for love.

And I reject it.

If you don't love the other parent of your children, how can you fully love the children? Can anyone tell me somthing that is more important for children than love? I don't think so.

And by dealing with the shit that love brings with it, you model healthy, loving relationships to your children.

And in reallity, you have to deal with shit if you're going to live with anyone...And when you don't love the person your dealing with, it's so much easier to pretend things are normal for the sake of other people untill it sudenly blows up and hurts everyone...if you love somone it will hurt you too much and you'll deal with it before it gets out of hand. I think.

Lorin thinks that this topic must have upset him more than he realized, judging from the number of sentences he began with "And..."

You know, my love isn't here today. I mean this in a rather literal way, and possibly in a more spiritual way as well. Rick is in Victoria? now, and I've discovered that parts of me have essentially turned off. Generally, I don't think about him now. He's gone, for a while anyway. It feels very odd, not to think about my love all the time. Like there's an entire piece of me missing, the piece that he took with him on his trip. Odd. But I also remember what it felt like when I never saw him and he didn't live here at all, and it didn't feel like this either. That was very, very intense actively missing someone for so long is really draining, (but I'm preaching to the choir on this one). Anyway. I'm not sure what I'm saying now. Oh, yes. I'm realizing how different my love (and by this I mean my love the thing and not my Love the person) has changed. It can wait now. It has some patience not a lot, I grant you - but some. I wonder how really old couples feel when one of them leaves for a while. Do they care more or less? -Robyn, who isn't sure if this was at all relevent

• it is. thank you. ~z~

• Four years of a long distance relationship was painful and draining, and probably a defining part of who I am. In the end, time and distance were too much for a relationship that spanned the years of my life from age 13 to 17, replaced by confusion and now friendship. Now I wake up beside my love each morning and fall asleep in his arms listening to his heart beating every night, and had done for over a year when it was time to go home for the holidays and be apart for three weeks again. It felt a lot different and more patient than the same period last year, when we'd only been together for a matter of weeks. I was secure knowing it would end. It was peaceful. I don't think I cried once. And now we've got another 49 weeks to live side-by-side. - Julie(lipse

Love is a funny thing. If you look too hard for it, you find it everywhere, maybe even in places where it isn't. But if you don't look hard enough, it may pass you by. I used to want to be in love, but I realized I'm not nearly ready yet. To share your life with someone, first you have to make it your own. - Naela

• Naela, love, you're absolutely amazing! I mean, you wrote that so sensibly and articulatly I couldn't help but agree... it makes so much sense. *smile* I wish more people realized that about relationships. *~Eryn

• Naela-girl, oh yes, I agree...until recently I thought I wanted to be, if not "in love" immediately (my definition of "in love" being something very ball-and-chain committed and crazy-mad), but in a relationship... But now I'm realizing that I don't want that, at least for awhile... I think a lot of people never find out what they, themselves are like without being defined by someone else (lover,boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, partner), or their relationship with them. Talking to some of my older women friends, I find that they got married very young and are only now (hurray for post-menopausal years!) discovering themselves as themselves, not as daughters or mothers or girlfriends or wives. I don't mean it's impossible to have a sense of self through a relationship...I'm sure it is. But it would make it a lot easier, I would think, if you already knew who you were. (I think I am just rephrasing what Naela said so concisely above.) So go ahead, someonetell me if I'm wrong! Funfunfun.

  /~~rrrrrrrosie-mae/

• I agree... partly. Because I do think it is important that people define themselves outside the context of a relationship... I mean, that's probably a big problem for a lot of women, as Rosie states well right above. But on the flip-side, I think a lot can be gained from a relationship... sometimes someone else who is that close to you can really have some insight into things or a way to look at yourself that you never thought of. I think closing yourself off to relationships and discovering that part of life is just as much of a mistake as spending your life seeking it out... because any kind of relationship [romantic, family, friendship] will help you understand something new about yourself, as well as forge that relationship as it's own beast... (~summer)

"next to 'god', 'love' is the word most mangled in the english language."

okay... i'll probably get strongly disagreed with and possibly tick some people off... but my personal theory is that being "in love" is bullshit. i mean, love is great. it is all around us. it is friendship, it is affection, it is beauty, it is attraction... saying you are "in love" on the other hand, implies that you're in some place. like, "whoops, i fell in love with this person. shit."

      "love isn't some place that we fall, it's something that we do"

more often than not people describe infatuation or appreciation or even lust as "in love". in reality, these feelings are our instinctual reactions to certain events that take place. then there's commitment... which is closer to "in love" than anything previously mentioned. ask most married persons what they think about the concept of being "in love", and they will likely give you a long speech which basically communicates this: being in love takes a commitment. well this is dissapointing and very discouraging news, but that's the basic idea.

my theory, which even i don't completely believe as of now is that being in love is just a big fat label for a huge range of feelings. so assumming it does exist, the theory goes something like this: there's infatuation, or lust, or mental connection, and then miles from that is "in love." in between the two, every single inch is another feeling or thought or type of connection with another human being. and none of these millions of other things have names. so people usually either underestimate the feeling and call it a "crush", or they overestimate it and call it "in love". i probably am making very little sense. but it's late so please forgive me!

ummm... yes... sorry about that. ~carsie~

• you just wait. gryn ~z~

Yes, love is not a place, but in my expirience, there is no better metaphore for it. I have been "In Love" twice...and both time I Fell. Suddenly. When I was least expecting it.Not even really looking for it. In retrospect I think in both cases I had a little bit of forwarning, in the form of lust, but would never have expected anything to come of it.

Falling in love is really fucking confusing. It's like your whole life changes in a matter of a few minutes. Suddnely you find your self thinking about somone else, often before you even think of yourself. No longer are you the absolute most important person in your life by a magnitude of 10.

When you can't be with the one you love, it hurts. It feels like they took an icecream scoop and scooped out a piece of your heart, but you forgot to take a piece of their's in exchange. When you aren't together, life seems to be one big long wait, and nothing else matters...Eventually this will fade, and seperations will be bearable...you'll remember to take your scoop, it will become clear that love won't dissapear overnight.

Somone on this page said somthing to the effet of "Love is knowing your in love". I agree. There's lots of levels of love. But when your "In Love" with somone, you will know it...you won't be able to think of it as somthing else...I'm sure the feeling is different for everyone, but it will suddenly hit you, "So this is what they mean."

I don't think being "In Love" is a necesarily a permanent state, but it lasts for a period of time. I also think it takes two people to be in love. You can love somone so much it hurts, but if they dont' return the feeling I wouldn't call it "In love".

To carry the Metaphore of love being a place further, I suggest that Love is a maze, probobly an underground one.

You can enter it intentionally I suppose...But More often the ground will colapse under us and we find ourselves ploped into the middle of it, and Two things can happen as we navigate our way through it. We can find our way back out, or We can work our way closer and closer to the center...I don't think we can ever find the center though...because Love isn't perfect, We always have to work at it.

I suppose that really there are many different mazes that we work our way through at the same time...yet they are somhow connected while remaining seperate. One for each person we love.

What would the Love at the center of the maze be like I wonder?

Lorin

• I like that metaphor, lorin. you could even carry it further, with minotaurs lurking around... i really like that metaphor. *grin*

Loving someone seems as if it could be a bad idea. People are always warning me not to love because it is confusing and painful and makes you act like a lunatic. What is a lunatic? It sounds an undesirable thing to be.

• Lunacy is simply a term for what other people are suffering from when they fail to live their life by your priorities. ...I for one don't generally care if this culture on the whole defines me as as compete lunitic, because I define it the very same way. ~z~

• Being a lunatic is a lot like being insane. It's a hell of a lot of fun. (Ari)

I think that The kinda Love for you friends should not be hiddin, I think you should be able to say "I love you" to your friends without them being weirded out.

Becouse, If they're your friend, You should love them... Oh yah, and the kinda love of anouther person, Like Love love (Wich I dont have much experince with) Is ether a really really really really realy wonderful thing, It can also be a Fucking pain if they dont love you back *grumbles* -Nick V

I actually don't have anything to say on love at the moment. I just thought I should write on this page, 'cause... it's That Day. You know the one I mean. -Samantha

• Bullshit, "I don't actually have anything to say...", hah! Love, real love (and I mean the person to person kind, not the romantic kind) means wanting someone, above all, to be happy. And it means giving them whatever you can, even if it means their freedom. Gads, I'm being melodramatic today! But if you're crazy enough about someone, that infatuation can cause a kind of posessive jelousy that not only isn't very nice, but contradicts the very principles of "friendship" love. That icky posessiveness should just die, die, die. For God's sake, don't guilt trip the ones you love if they're miserable enough being attatched to you as it is, don't make it any worse and please give it and them up! Remember, it's not because they don't care about you... but maybe because they care too much. Just be happy for what was and let it be. Enjoy what's left, dammit! Life is only a series of moments, and especially if you know the end is near, make them all count! Okay, I just realized that the above didn't make any sense. And that's okay! Neither does love, so this paragraph is perfectly suited for this page. -me, again

• That made perfect sence! What you wrote is so true! Not confusing at all, except maybe if you've never felt that way before, but it definatly captures loves feeling well.

	~irina

love (luv) n. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Sexual passion. Sexual intercourse. A love affair. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment. An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.

A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love. Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid. often Love Christianity. Charity. Sports. A zero score in tennis.

v. loved, lov·ing, loves v. tr. To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): We love our parents. I love my friends. To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person). To have an intense emotional attachment to: loves his house.

To embrace or caress. To have sexual intercourse with. To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming. Theology. To have charity for. To thrive on; need: The cactus loves hot, dry air.

v. intr. To experience deep affection or intense desire for another.

Idioms: for love Out of compassion; with no thought for a reward: She volunteers at the hospital for love. for love or money Under any circumstances. Usually used in negative sentences: I would not do that for love or money. for the love of For the sake of; in consideration for: did it all for the love of praise. in love Deeply or passionately enamored: a young couple in love. Highly or immoderately fond: in love with Japanese painting; in love with the sound of her own voice. no love lost No affection; animosity: There's no love lost between them.

[Middle English, from Old English lufu. See leubh- in Indo-European Roots.] Synonyms: love, affection, devotion, fondness, infatuation These nouns denote feelings of warm personal attachment or strong attraction to another person. Love is the most intense: marrying for love. Affection is a less ardent and more unvarying feeling of tender regard: parental affection. Devotion is earnest, affectionate dedication and implies selflessness: teachers admired for their devotion to children. Fondness is strong liking or affection: a fondness for small animals. Infatuation is foolish or extravagant attraction, often of short duration: lovers blinded to their differences by their mutual infatuation.

As the ever- brilliant bell hooks explains in her book "All About Love", love is the concern for another's spiritual growth, to be differentiated from care which can be shown often without the company of love being present. This explains how those that hurt us often claim to love us. In actuality, they often care for us and do caring things for us, but are unable, for any myriad of reasons (often that others didn't know how to properly love them) to truly love. You can't have love without care, but you can in fact have care without love. There needs to be the always-present concern for our inner-spirit's well-being for true love to exist.

                                                  -jill
                          (an interested post-h.s. autodidact) 

Oooh, I think that's it for me as well. That's what separates it from that strong care that I have for every friend. There's fewer that, every moment of being with them, I pay such close attention to their spirit. Arianna

Love is all you need