Okay. I'm getting kind of annoyed at the "who's crushing it to who blah blah blah" page. Mainly, because no one has a crush on me and though I try not to mind, I still feel rather... unnoticed, and unapprieciated. I thought I'd make a page for those of us who get little or no sexual attention from others. Maybe we can throw a party and have an orgy... ...or maybe just talk about our feelings about this. Thoughts, anyone? -wanderlust
Yeah. I'm definitely uncrushable. The thing about me is; when I was at camp, I was attracted to numerous different people in numerous ways. But I didn't talk about it. Especially not online. Especially not by dropping names. Yet, I felt unloved and indignant when I never saw my name on the crush page, and I basically expected others to do what I wouldn't. So, I'm a hyprocrite too. There's something so natural about being attracted to people...and in a way, I'd love to know if someone was attracted to me. It does seem a bit stilted, though, for people to read the whole page looking for their name, and when they don't, they feel forgetten. Undesirable. Besides, I've never been the person that people are attracted to. Boys have told me that I'm too quiet and mysterious, that it makes me intimidating. I'd like to deny that, but I know that at camp, I must have seemed untouchable, too. I'm working on that. -Landis Well, this page seems to be a decent place for some slightly cynical ranting about how nobody seems to give a damn about me, or anything that I care about (But I'll try to keep it short and bitter). OK, First of all I really suck ar reading vibes, so maybe I'm just not noticing people's attempts to get me to notice them, but somhow I doubt that anyone's been tring... "It isn't nice, you know, to look in that mirror every morning, and see a guy nobody likes" (A quote from Red Dwarf, to witch the Cat promptly replies: "How do ya think we feel, we've gotta look at it all day") --- Neal okay people- i absolutely love this page and i totally agree with most everything said- and i also think that The Trend (online at least) is hurting peoples feelings, but this page should not become a place to diss the people who are really popular because they are incredible people, and they haven't done anything wrong. so, while we can discuss our dissapointment with "the trend" online, let's not insult those who everyone is crushed out on. thank you. god bless.
I thought the whole Trend thing of telling someone you had a crush on them and all that was great...at camp. but on the web, i don't really like it at all. yes, the same people are the ones everyone usually has crushes on
I totally agree, Eryn... great idea for a page... no one's got a crush on me, either, so I know where you're coming from -JessicaSkater Okay. . . . um, hi. I was reading through this page, seeing what people have said, and I think it's time for me to change my post. So here I go; forgive my fumbling tongue. Sometimes words are hard to find. Hmm. When I wrote before, I made a list of the people whose names had cropped up again and again and again in the lists on the WhoseCrushedOutOrKickingItToWho or whatever page. I am realizing now that this was a stupid thing to do. I really only created it because it seemed funny to me that such a small number of names had taken up such a large amount of space, but I get the feeling that I appeared resentful or judgemental. Incidentally, I didn't mean to sound that way at all, but if I did. . . . well, I'm sorry. I don't quite know how to explain what I mean, but Something I've noticed about myself is that I fall for the "Popular People" illusion waaaay too often. I see someone who looks, to me, like they're happier or more beautiful or braver than I am, and I think they feel like that, anyway. Maybe they don't. I assume more than I know. *shrugs* But when I see that shiny surface and forget who people are, I get angry a lot. I avoid becoming friends with some of you because, after all, it looks as though everyone loves you already. So why should I bother? I know! I know, this is a stupid, unfair, unreasonable reaction. But that's what I do. A lot of it is because I have a half-formed fear that none of these so-called "Popular People" have even the slightest interest in knowing me as a person, that they couldn't care less about whether I talk to them or not, and that is an _extremely threatening fear, whether it be real or imagined. But even so, it is not an excuse for judging people based on thoughts that belong only to me. I'm sorry, I guess. I wish. . . . I'm not sure. I wish that I knew you all well enough to never forget that people are people. I wish that I could forget to forget, or remember to remember. But wishes are pointless, so I'll stop making them.
* not to be nitpicky, but... at camp, about 6 people said something to
me, most all of them in response to me telling them i had a crush on them
("oh..wow... uh... well, you're attractive too"), and most of them girls if
that means anything. at home i never had a real boyfriend until a few months
ago, just a string of weird rejections. i'm known for getting my heart
broken. i'm known hanging out with guys as one of the guys, to the point
that occasionally someone has the epihany that there's actually a girl in
the room... "sort of". so if you guys perceive me as someone who is really
popular in this crushed out sense, i think that maybe some of this also has
to do with perception and not reality. More of my thoughts on the whole
thing in general below.
*not to seem belittling of the topic at hand, or to appear to be changing the subject (i have many thoughts on the topic that i am currently sorting through in my head), but i just thought i'd point out the abundance of names on the above list, that start with the letter C. 5 out of 9. thats a lot. which just goes to show that C is a kickass letter. - Cory
I don't think it's looks... I remember at camp, when prom came around. I dressed up in a skirt and a short top that showed my belly, put some glitter on, and tried to dance in a sexy way like everyone else was doing. Did it work? Not really. I felt cold, and cheap, and still unnoticed. I also felt alien in my own body. A prom is not my idea of a good time anyway... I would much rather have taken a walk with a person or two that I liked. It seems that most everyone that people have crushes on are a certain personality type. Outgoing, function well in large groups, always appearing happy, wear noticable clothes (or very little clothing)... I wonder why that is. Strangest thing is that I don't want to be like that. I want people to be attracted to me, not a pretence, not a copy of someone else. -wanderlust (oops, forgot to put my name here at first) Although I absolutely adored camp, I was also going through a whole lot of emotional ups and downs. There were a ton of people there that I either really wanted to be friends with and a. was too nervous to talk to most of the time or b. gave me the cold shoulder when I did talk to them. OR I had crushes on them and I think I either a. told them or b. made it extremely obvious that I had a crush on them. And it was a punch to the self esteem when nobody had a crush on me. Thus, I get confused. A large number of girls tell me I'm pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/attractive/any combination etc. And I think part of it is that girls have an easier time saying that to other girls. But I can easily count how many males have ever given me compliments. One male at camp told me I was "hot" and that was after camp was over and it wouldn't have done much good at camp anyway. I had a few comments on my hair, a comment on my dress for prom and a comment on my boots/dressing style, from guys. But lord, I would have loved it if someone had admitted to having a crush on me or even telling me that I was attractive. Of course it is nice when girls tell me but it does not mean the same thing as when girls do. I went to prom with Samantha. Which was fun. I did dance with a few guys Uncrushables? Harsh but true. I had plenty of crushes on people. I did harbor this little hope that I would have a fling or a person or two say they had a crush on me or I was pretty or that they found me attractive or ANYTHING. But it didn't happen. Uncrushables is a harsh word but somehow it ties in with what I read in the talent show. There are two groups, almost everywhere you go. And if you are in one group, you're enormously lucky. Because even if you still interact and have fun with people out of that group, you are still revered and liked and noticed. I despise not being noticed. It is just about the worst thing you can feel. ~Jasmine~
ok, about the two groups... It's true, there are The Popular People and The Unpopular People everywhere you go. But most people are neither. Like me. I certainly don't consider myself popular. I'm not one of the Beautiful People by any means. But that certainly doesn't mean I consider myself unpopular! I have lots of good friends who love me and who I love. I know lots of people I'd say hi to and smile at if I saw them on the street. "Unpopular" people I've seen, especially in schoolish groups, are the people who nobody knows and nobody wants to know. I can't imagine there being someone at camp nobody wanted to know. about being lucky... I think Luck has almost nothing to do with it. This year, especially at the We're All So Rad workshop, I felt awfully close to being "popular." Which I do not want to be. I associate "popular" with "snobbish" or at least someone who doesn't particularly want to get to know shy, fade-into-the-wall type people. But I did feel popular this year. 1) because I knew a lot of people and most of them knew me too. This was mostly because it was my third year. 2) I knew what I was doing, and I was outgoing. I think this stems from the first one. I felt comfortable because a bunch of people knew who I was. And because I felt comfortable, I was able to go up to people I didn't know and say hi. Thus getting to know more people. I think popularity, especially at camp, is more effort than anything else. Jasmine, I don't think you're "unpopular." I think everyone who saw you read at the talent show now knows exactly who you are. "Jasmine? Oh, the one who read that poem in the talent show." Because you got up there and said something, people know who you are. I admire that tremendously. It took me three years to get up enough confidence to do that kind of thing. A summation of my poor deleted essay: I don't mind that nobody's told me they have a crush on me. I think the kind of people I like are not the kind of people who post on the Wiki Web all the people they have crushes on. I also think that the original point of the trend at camp was to tell the person you had a crush on, not all your friends. So see my li'l addition to TheTrend. ok, guess that's it... -marina I just finished my fourth year at camp, my 6th session. The first year, I was shy and spent all my time at workshops. No one except one staff guy knew me well enough to write me when I got home, and he was the only person I wrote to. I had crushes on older guys who barely knew I existed. When I came back in 98 I was shocked that a handful of people remembered my name, and I clung to them (*cough*corale*cough*) and ended up spending all my time with a fairly small group of fairly "well-known" people. most of the time, i think we were fine i think maybe a big problem with this whole thing (~summer)
Dude, good page! I'm glad someone else has thought of this too. The whole flirty crush thing is something i have a mixed reaction to. to my knoweldge I have never flirted with a guy or much less had one flirt with me. Im mostly glad for this, im in a relationship right now and frankly id get weirded out if a guy did flirt with me because i wouldnt know how to relate to it. I know of one guy who had a crush on me, and i was pretty flattered and amazed when he told me. I totally dont think of myself as an attractive/crushable person in the slightest. Im mostly too busy being me to pay attention. At lest thats what i tell myself. It's wierd to hear truth or dare games going on and hear my sisters (Heather and Shippys) names mentioned. Firstly because im not mentioned (ha, ego comments first) but also because this is my sisters right? More 'zacly, my twin and my kid sister.... Also i still maintain that ive never had a crush on anyone. Lots of people
im good friends with, and more then a few im attracticed too, but none i
would consider a "crush". Its a term i have mixed relations towards.
peace
-Dawn
Wow. This is really taking off. Thank you, guys, this is a good thing to talk about. I wanted to point out something... something my mom pointed out, actually. It seems that most of these divisons come in artificial situations. The prom this year comes to mind first. Let's compare two things.
... hmm, I realize that this is kind of getting off the topic of crushes, but maybe that's a good thing. It seems that we're not just talking about crushes here, but something more. More later... -wanderlust
I think that was the general opinion of most of us bothies. I didn't like the 2nd session prom as much either. I don't think the costume contest worked all that great, and the music was, well, blech for the most part. I loved the first session one though. I think it's important to just let go and be yourself and not worry about how good/stupid you look. Wear something that makes you feel comfy and happy, and just dance for the fun of it. Anyway there's my opinion. -Kathleen Hmmmmmmm. I didn't really think that much about crushes and stuff at camp. I was too busy having fun and bothering people. (Wait a second, i'm not sure that statment is entirely true. Ah well)Offhand, I would note that the people that people have crushes on are, in general, the people whowant people to have crushes on them, or who have lots of crushes. Also, due to the excessive number of hugs, etc., at camp, it can be tough to tell if it's a real crush (if there is such a thing as a real crush), or not. -berly Wow, lots of good thoughts. Especially the comment that the "popular" people, those prominent in The Trend, are a certain kind of outgoing, friendly, gregarious people. Shyer people may not involve themselves as much, or be as involved. I'm generalizing because most people are somewhere in between. Me, I vacillate daily. Monday: "Hi, I'm Jessica, can I have directions, S.F. is so great, want to hang out?" Today: "Oh my god this city is full of strangers I want to go home!!" But what I'm saying is the cutest person is comfortable in his or her own skin, or fakes it really well. If putting on a slinky dress at a dance is not your thing then it won't work for you. You'll be unhappy and also probably unsuccessful, because your unhappiness will show. That's it for now. Probably more later. Eryn, thanks for starting this page. You rock. This actually is less of an issue for me now. Maybe it has something to do with being home, and in familiar surroundings, but I feel much more comfortable with myself than I have the whole summer. I'd like it very much if I was the kind of person that lots of people had crushes on, but I'm okay not being that. I don't agree with the whoscrushedout page (though what Marina did with TheTrend is really cool) but I guess I don't have a lot of issues with it. Strange. I feel like a completely different person than I was at camp, but at camp I was a completely different person than I was all summer. Maybe next year will be better... I'll be comfortable with not being popular, and maybe that will be the ticket to attractiveness. (Too bad I had to learn this stuff after camp... geez) -wanderlust Okay...Let's try to be coherant now that I woke up from my, ahem, 12 hour nap... First of all, there's a big difference between crushes and attractions. I don't get crushes very often, I haven't had one in a coupla months (i can't count so i'm not *quite* sure how long it's been, hmmm). I'm attracted to maybe 60, 70 percent of everyone I meet. The attractions sometimes intimidate me around people cuz like, sexual felings do change relationships, and for me, being attracted to someone doesn't really mean very much, just like, potential, so my saying I have a crush on someone means more to them than to me. So I don't usually say it, maybe I should, I don't know. I try to tell people who don't think they're attractive to anyone, sometimes. Next. People don't often tell me they find me attractive which is pretty cool with me because it's alot easier to handle, and there's *enough* people in the world who are attracted to me that I can still get some. It's really cool when you're attracted to someone and they feel the same way about you. But I really feel uncomfortable when some guys get crushes on me. So I'm really honestly glad I'm not one of the beautiful people because I don't like the thought of creepy dudes jacking off to my image. (Although I get that so often I wonder if maybe I'm giving off victim vibes instead of ugly vibes??) I'm having trouble with my last thought, about posting things online, versus one on one communication. It's just really shallow and not in the same spirit at all, I wish people weren't doing it. I'll try to say more later. Oh yeah and if you *do* have a crush on me or think i'm attractive then like, okay, whatever, it would be interesting to find out, and it's always nice to hear, but I'd be a lot more interested in knowing why you chose not to say so at the time, it's something I've been pondering, the motivations behind the trend...and what people really get out of it besides an ego boost... love and sparkles, Jenny Okay well sometimes I am not very good at putting my feelings and thoughts into words... but... I have talked a good deal about this uncrushables/popular people dilemma or discussion with people.... And it makes me really sad. Like.. Various people have told me I am popular, everyone loves me.. oh if only everyone that loved me loved them... I definitly do not consider myself popular.. but lets put that aside.. even if I WAS... I'm not happy. Most of the people who people consider "popular" aren't completly happy. Tons are insecure,self doubting, hide their emotions.. are fairly fucked up. Me definitly being one of the unhappyinsecureselfdoubtingfuckeduphidingemotionsone..I don't like the way I look. I hate mirrors. I am afraid to approach so many people and feel like i will never know them or be accepted as much as i'd like to.. We all go through the same problems. It makes me really sad to see everyone being seperated.......Yeah. I told you i'm not good with my words right now.For a second lets consider that I was popular.. What would make me any different than anyone else? Any better? Definitly not. sooo soo soo not better. no. we're all special. it's crazy that these things come out of my mouth.. because I NEVER feel special...... but yes. We all have our qualitys...and our weaknesses.. and we are all so completly human. Just please.. everyone. try to realize.. in reality.. we're all as loved as the others. lerrrve and kisses. rachel ~~~~~~~~~~~~ erm... this is carsie... and i want to say something here but i'm not sure what it is. i dunno, i feel crappy after reading all that. like, not to make people who posted things that might have made me feel crappy feel guilty about it. just bein honest and such. i'm not exactly sure what in particular made me feel crappy. probabaly a lot of things. (like:) one: i have been feeling crappy about the trend thing since camp. and continue to do so now. it obviously was quite faulted. people getting left out was my main concern, but of course i wasn't really concerned about it until after the problem had begun to generate. and i am feeling crappier and crappier about it. two: i don't like being thought about as one of those "popular" people that "everyone has crushes on". i mean, honestly, a number of people did tell me they found me attractive. and that was nice. (and might i add that an extremely large percent of those people, almost all actually, were people that i first went up to and confessed my crushin on them). but it creates some crappy-feelingness to read these things that people wrote about me as though i were some plastic thing that was brighter and more noticeable that the other plastic things. like "were they more liked because they were more attractive?" my first reaction to that is something along the lines of "thanks... i preferred to think it had something to do with my talking to a lot of people and getting involved and taking initiative, or maybe with some of the intelligent or creative things i said to those people, but i guess i just have a nice ass, or dress flamboyantly." but then again, maybe that is why. gee, i feel really lucky. three: i've been going to camp for three years. the first two, no one really had any idea who i was. and i was clique-ie and shy and afraid of the opposite sex (and not yet sexually interested in the same sex), and that probably has something to do with no one knowing who i was. also, no one had ever really found me sexually attractive until this summer. i became less shy and louder i guess, but it's not like i began excreting some kind of strong pheremone that is exclusive to an elite group. four: i know this has been mentioned before... but i am not perfect. i am not happy or confidant. and i live in bumfuck, va. it's not like i am constantly being mobbed by beautiful salivating men. i have a boyfriend, sort of. my first ever real romantic relationship. but i am not being mobbed with options, here. and... let's see... there's abuse and masochism and all that great stuff. i am not proud of it. but it's there. not to mention my own opinion of myself; in my own mind i am ugly and damaged and uncoordinated and gawky and stupid and deformed and uncreative and boring and fake and redundant and fucked up and my nose is too big and my lips are too thin and i talk too much and laugh like an idiot and i can't write or play guitar or draw well and there is this underlying group of people that i met at camp who are hating me because some teenagers- with their raging hormones and fickleness- found me physically attractive. ~~~~~~~~
hmm, i don't know what to say really, part of me feels like shit, part of me wonders how i fooled all those people into thinking i'm cool, and another part wonders why poeple seem to forget i'm real. cuz really, i'm just a boy. just a kid. another fuckup. another guy who's not perfect. another guy who somehow ended up with people calling him popular. i don't care for myself very much, i'm not too thrilled with how i look...and i don't mean to take this page to bitch. i just feel like some people aren't seeing the real me. i don't think i'm popular, i don't think i'm very cool. but other people do. they tell me i am, and they tell me i'm cool. does that really make it true? maybe. i feel better about myself after hearing it a whole bunch, and hearing it from people that i adore. people didn't always say this about me, they didn't always see me as some see me now...and i never do know how people see me anyway...i never know the effect i have on anyone, unless they are kind enough to tell me, and most don't think they need even bother talking to me. sure, maybe some people can say they have crushs on me, 'cuz it's really really easy to do. i'm safe. it's not so easy when i get a crush. it's not so easy when i like someone, no matter what they've told me. deep down where i counts, im just as shy as the next guy. moreso maybe. i dont' know. when it comes time for me to tell someone how i feel, i'm chickenshit. are you? am i really any differnt from you? whoever anyone reading this is....whoever thinks i'm not just as shy about almost everything as anyone else. but one thing i know....i wouldn't trade my shoes for anything. and maybe think about that...cuz we're all shy, and we're all diffrent, and when you think about it...is there anything you'd trade away? and if there is...remember that no one got it easy...at all. i want to say something about this. but mostly i think anything i could say would be in poor taste. or end up making other people feel bad. or mad at me. or blah blah blah. basically.. what i want to say. is that when it comes down to it. for me. i don't really care who if lots of people have crushes on me. i would like for people to think i'm cool. (so i do the things that make people think your cool. i act silly. i wear deoderant. i keep up on my hygene. i'm not directly mean to people without cause. i spend time on my clothing. blah blah blah) but that doesn't matter nearly as much as it matters for that one person i want so badly to want me just as bad. and i think that unless for you, i'm that one person. it shouldn't really matter all that much if i like you. i know it doesn't matter much to me. wheres my point gone? oh yes. so when it comes down to it. what does it matter if people arn't picking your name out of the hat of safe camp crushes? and even if people run from you like you're godzilla. your ok. because even godzilla had friends. and he wrecked citys. when was the last time you destroyed a city? pshaw! - cory (i think theres a point obfuscated withen. look hard dear friends look hard.)
I'm mildly against the idea of a crushes page, although I liked the honesty-about-crushes-at-Camp movement. I think making your crushes public is kind of dangerous, and wasn't even the good part of the way it happened at Camp. I feel like when you're around someone much, you have a responsibility to clear up your feelings about them Speaking purely for myself: if I got a crush (or attraction or whatever), I'd much rather talk to the object of affection directly and privately than make an announcement on the web. Maybe my crush would be really uncomfortable with my putting it here; I know I'd be weirded out if I first heard That Sort of Thing from the wiki instead of a person. But I never do anyway, sniffle sniffle. Even if the crushes page isn't used exclusively for crushes (as far as I've noticed, it never has been), it makes me nervous. Lists of who people are attracted to can't help but make me a little nervous. Are these people you want to get jiggy with and marry tomorrow? Are these people you're romantically atracted to? Are these people you'd like to make out with if you had the chance? Are these people you think are wonderful in a non-sex-related way? Are these people you'd like to get to know better? Are these people you think have great bodies? Are these just your friends? I can't tell, even (especially) if you say "Beautiful people:". It's just a list of names. NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 67 times, last edited on February 25, 2002 by 199.80.77.100. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
and with damn good reason- they're really awesome people and i love them all- but everyone else is awesome, too. and the other awesome people are getting left out, just because the people that everyone is crushed out on are the popular people who have been at nbtsc several times before, so everyone knows them and such. like i said, i love those people and some are my really close friends, but this trend is now doing more bad than good- same with the "we're all so rad" thing- at camp is was real cool everyone went down the line and told each person what was rad about them and everyone felt loved and appreciated. but on the web, not everyone's name get's put up there and even those who are up there some people get twenty entries about them and others only get two or three. and some people haven't been put up at all! so, at camp, both these things work, and on the web i don't think they do, because peoples feelings are getting hurt. does anyone agree with me? (if you've been to camp you will understand what i mean by how it worked at camp, but doesn't work online) if anyone agrees with me, and wants to talk about this without bashing the people that everyone has crushes on please post back- i would love to hear your thoughts! ~anonymous
, taking a little rant on her soap box ;)
