Who Is Becca Zordak

Describe WhoIsBeccaZordak here. I'm glad you guys started this page. The boxes were really bothering me last year, but I didn't really know why. Actually I did. It was basically that the way people percieved me was keeping me from changing, and change is REALLY what I'm about. Just to point one thing out, Camp is so much about being "openminded" it seems we haven't noticed how dogmatic, restrictive and full of expectations we've become about "openmindedness". I tried to talk about this with a few people, but they either got really defensive or didn't understand what I was saying.

Ok. Now on to who I really am.So I won't have to keep adding on to my own metaphors. I just needed people to stop seeing me as the invisible....

I am a fire dancer in the dark, becoming the flashes of light I am watching in others' eyes. I am lying naked on sandstone. I am a mediator between warring idealogies. I am a stiltdancer, apex of every parade. I am truthful, a joyful burst. I am full of depth, with which I am purely upfront. I am a beautiful animal. I have the energy of ecstacy backing my every movement. I am a tan body running through the hills bare feet and wet hair. I am more than I ever imagine, I am strong wise and knowledgable. I am smart and coherent, I am loved by most and adaptive. I am a cougar at heart. I am a wonderful friend and lover, and a strong soulful person. I am consumed with love for life and the world. I am also

decietful, A nagging fear. A crown of thorns for some of those who love me the most deeply. I am thousands of years of ignored, abused and screaming souls, a deep well of hate, a life of lies built on lies, guilt and self destruction. I am an abyss of tears. I am detatched, hateful, and sorry sorry sorry for everything, mostly for things I don't have anything to do with. I revel in being a victim so I can justify being weak. I push myself untill I crack and then take it out on others. I laugh in my sleep, but I have also woken up sobbing, exhausted by the pressure of playing Atlas. I need to feel needed, and cling to things long after they have forgotten me. I am self centered and truly progressive only when I can be comfortably. And I am a dirty, substance abusing bum. I am a glimmer in the police notes with my cans of spray paint. I am slipping further and further out of the American dream. I am always alone, even when I'm with others.

All this is what I always have been.

I just wanted to say goodbye. Because I find myself clinging, like I described above, this is the last time I'm posting on this site. I love you all, but I understand that I'm not really close to anyone anymore, because I've distanced myself in a crazy manifestation of my love for you. There are a few letters on the way out. Bye!