Who Is Jennyrose

someone that is herself and no one else, someone i miss and love deeply a simple quston really herself -someone that loves you ever so much more then you think

You knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I've been biding my time, trying to think of what to say. Who am i? It's a big fricking question to ask.

Firstly though, i want to say that i don't find AllSoRad offensive. i think it's a beautiful page made and meant to show the good positive feelings we have for eachother. It's not about stuffing ourselves or eachother into little boxes, and it isn't even about defining anyone. It's about making eachother feel good, and revealing how much we love and like eachother, even those of us who we don't know overly well, or even if we don't often get around to saying nice things about the people we love and like.

So my "stereotype" isn't based on AllSoRad. My stereotype is based on what people say about me - to my face and behind my back, and how they react to me, and what i know people think about me.

Stereotypes:

That i'm... Outspoken/outgoing. Loud. Bold. Opinionated. Flirtatious. Honest. Have great self-esteem. (Overly) Affectionate. Strong. Clingy. Emotionally instable at times. Bitchy. Stubborn. Man-hating.

I know there's more, but those are the ones that come to mind at the moment.

• Firstly, i am outspoken/outgoing/loud/bold/opinionated. I believe what i believe. I don't think that i should hide from what others may think of me based on my personal beliefs. But i'd also like to mention that i can be really shy at times, especially when in an unusual situation with people i don't know overly well. For example, when i first went to austin in october, i was feeling really shy for the first day, and i essentially hide behind Summer the whole time. I can be really shy. I'm not always secure in my beliefs. I'm not always saying what i'm thinking. Outspoken/outgoing/etc., don't fully encompass who i am as a social person.

• I am flirtatious, and i don't really understand why people think that's a bad thing. I have somewhat of a rep for being overly flirtatious/bordering on "slutty" which i think is downright lame. The "slut" thing is wholly inaccurate and pathetic, and i'll go more into that later [0], but i don't think flirting with people is wrong or bad or whatever. It is another way of relating to people. 'Nuff said.

• I consider myself to be a really honest person, and i see that as a really good thing. I don't lie to people except in really rare cases in which either a) our relationship is already screwed beyond repair and they've lied to me enough times that i feel justified in lying to them to protect my own privacy, or b) a situation in which i feel like a really tiny "white" lie, such as "your song was beautiful" isn't going to hurt anyone. "Your song was beautiful" is something that is based on a person's indevidual perception, and therefore i can't say "your song sucked" because that's simply my own opinion, and i wouldn't lie about it unless i was directly asked. So i consider myself to be an overal honest person. I make a habit of saying what i do or don't like, i'm not going to lie to someone about almost anything, and i'm proud of that fact. I've come a long way.

• When people come to me and say "wow you are so amazingly brave and secure in yourself" i almost want to laugh. Compared to some people i am really secure in myself, but i do go through a lot of self-doubt in my life still. Nobody is entirely free from that crap, no matter how much they seem to be. I still think i look ugly or i'm "too chubby" or i'm an irritating person or my laugh is really annoying or my hair looks stupid or whatever. I still go through dislike of my self, and i still feel yucky and gross about myself at times in my life. I'd love to like myself all the time, but i just don't.

• Overly-Affectionate. I've heard people say that they felt i was "mushy" or too affectionate, and that my affections were insincere, and i just want to say that i feel really differently about that. I feel close to people easily sometimes, and i fall in love with people really easily. If that makes me "mushy", so be it, but i don't think it does. I feel completely sincere when i'm doing it, and i really don't see anything wrong with it.

• I don't think it's really fair to lable someone a bitch for their opinions and feelings. I'm an intense person, and that is a huge part of who i am. You can't know me well and never experience my ups and downs. That's a part of my being honest, that i don't pretend to be happy or okay when i'm pissed or hurt or otherwise upset about something. If something bothers me, i'm going to mention that. If somebody hurts my feelings, i'm not going to keep quiet about it. I'm not a secretive person. If you hurt me, i'm really likely to tell somebody else about it, and if that upsets you, that's your own problem. I'm an intense person because my highs and lows are really high and really low. I'm really vocal and when i'm happy you know it. When i'm in love you know it. And when i'm pissed, you know about it. I get really happy and i get really pissed off. I laugh and bounce when i'm happy, and i yell when i'm pissed off. That's life. I'm sorry if you don't like it. If you can't be my friend because of it, I'll find somebody else who can deal with it, but i'm not going to change or hide my true self in order to make you feel like everything is okay all the time. I don't think that makes someone a "bitch," and if it does, then i think everyone should be one.

• The man-hating one is laughable. I have a lot of male friends, and i love males. I don't fully understand males as a gender but i know plenty of males who feel the same way, and even to a further extent than i do about that. I'm curious and interested in males. The man-hating stereotype is spurred from my feminism. Yes, i consider myself a feminist, but if you actually look into feminist agenda (or especially talk to me seriously about it, without immediately taking offense, which is the best way to learn the truth about my feminist beliefs) you'll realize that feminism and man-hating or male-bashing are completely and totally unrelated and to lump them together is really misinformed.

I'm so unbelievably multi-layered, and it isn't fair to judge me based on a past relationship, or my politics, or a specific situation i've talked about, or you've heard about me. It's also unfair to judge me by what you hear about me (especially from someone who doesn't have an unbiased opinion of me, because there are a couple people who seem to intentionally or unintentionally make me sound really bad), or talking to me when i'm in a bad mood. The same goes for anyone. It's best to not judge someone until you really get to know them. And i know how hard that is, and i know i don't abide by that, but still... :) If you don't want others to make assumptions about you, don't make assumptions about other people.

That's all i have to say for right now. I'm sure i'll add to this when i'm feeling differently sometime, when i need to rant about assumptions or stereotypes, or when something particularly annoys me about things said about me.

Loves and hugs, Jennyrose

[0] SluttyNess