Interesting Discussion

So why has no one written some ConstructiveCriticism? Why is the AllSoRad page thriving and ConstructiveCriticism is more or less dying? Is is so hard to tell people there faults? Do we have no faults? Let's hear some opinions...

Because the page names will be confused with AllSoRad, that's why, I think. Easy 'nuff to fix.

Because some people actually like to think positive, eh! ~Erin

Is focusing on a more critical side negative? For me, it's positive, knowing that I've got somewhere to go still.

I haven't posted on ConstructiveCriticism because I feel that I, in my very fragile glass house, am not qualified to throw any stones. Perhaps other people feel the same way that they won't dish it out because they can't really take it. Or simply that they, too, are flawed, and therefore have no right to judge. Perhaps they are afraid people will know their server number and be angry at them for posting. Who really knows? - Naela

Hmm. . . . you know, I was one of the first people to add my name to the ConstructiveCriticism page. . . . I think it's really fascinating that so much controversy has arisen. I myself like the idea of ConstructiveCriticism because I know that I do have faults, and that I'm not going to be able to see them all on my own. I remember something Sam told me at camp, about how it frustrated her that I wasn't able to be more flippant and take things less seriously. I was really surprised, because *laughs, slightly embarrassed* quite frankly I'd never thought of flippancy as something to be desired. I'm not neccessarily going to change my pewrsonality or try to be flippant, but because I know how she feels, I am able to better understand her reactions to my actions. And I like to be able to understand things.

On the flip side(no pun intended), I do see that criticism, even ConstructiveCriticism, can be a very delicate, private thing, and as I think about it I'm not sure that I would be comfortable having my close friends reveal intimate thoughts about the less-than-pleasant side of my personality here on Wiki for all the world to see. No, I'm almost sure I wouldn't be comfortable. Huh. So what am I asking for, then? Shallow, impersonal criticism. *snorts* That'll be helpful.

Maybe, in the end, all I really want to know is what people think about me and about the world. And it doesn't really matter much whether they put it on AllSoRad or InterestingDiscussion or ConstructiveCriticism, so long as I get to find out a little of what they're thinking. The one change is that before, there was no place to share the less-than-ecstatic opinions about the people we know, and now, good or bad, there is. Amy

Why have people not posted much on ConstructiveCriticism? For myself, I second Naelabecause right now I don't really want to hear the negative things people have to say about me (at least not on a public, semi-permanent forum) I don't feel qualified to post criticism about other people. Also because I am not the most honest person in the world and would find it almost as difficult to give very personal criticism as to receive it.

But here's one thing I've been thinking about lately, which I haven't seen mentioned in the tumult of discussion about this new branch of Wiki: in many ways, it's not important for me to tell my friends what I don't like about them, because (besides being chicken) I love them the way they are, not only in spite of what I see as faults, but also because of them; because the good, the bad and the ugly are the sum whole of the people who I love. I don't necessarily want them to change. I can't tell them how to live their life.

For me, it's been (mostly) enough to recognize the not-so-nice aspects of my friendsand myselfand incorporate it into my view of them. Sometimes when I get to know somebody better, I end a friendship, but most of the time it makes me feel much closer to them.

hmmm... but maybe the ConstructiveCriticism is not about pointing out flaws to be fixed, but just being honest? But then, what is the point exactly? Does it make you closer because you don't have to feel perfect around eachother?

Okay, this is a bit of a different subject but it's something I've been thinking about:

One thing I noticed about camp is that it often serves as an artificial atmosphere. It often (though not always) opens people up in a rare and lovely way, to their especially exciting, charming, beautiful, wise, or loving sides. Which is why I make so many close friends so quickly at camp, I think. Cool people attend camp, yes, but especially camp shows their cool sides. (Hence my beleif that the solution to our Unschooler Loneliness is not necessarily all moving into a commune together but going treasure-hunting for kindred spirits in our own back yards.) So we get a beautiful picture of eachother, and worship the supposed perfection of everybody but ourselves. (How often have you thought, "I'm okay, but she is a Real Unschooler!") But worship is not conducive to close, equal honest relationships, on either side of the coin.

I guess what I mean is: we're all wonderful people. we're so wonderful that we have to see eachother (and be seen) as not always wonderful to continue to love eachother truly and honestly. Sorry. I can't tell if that's cheezy or disallusioning.

The above is my newest theory to make peace with my world and sense of my life. it's also a 1 AM philosophy and I could write way more but I can't sort it out in my sleep-deprived brain. Tell me what you think!

  Love,
    Rosie