Da da, da da, da dada da, dada da, da da, da dada da, dada da, da da, da dada da, dada da, da da daaaaaaaaaaa
yes, in my opinion, that makes perfect sense. Well, right now I'm sitting here listening to RENT for the ten thousand billionth time in the last few days. (thanks, Jess. grrr) I've been singing a lot lately- just been in the mood. My right knee's all purple and swollen and nasty looking from sliding on the ice. (the end of my program, I slide backwards on one knee, and then drop into the splits) We were working on double loops and double flips today, so I'm sore all over. So yeah *walks away singing the Tango Maureen* -JessicaSkater I want to travel. I want to travel till my skin turns brown, the wind comes from the ocean, i forget where i came from where i am going to, to travel untill i forget my fathers name or the place i was born, till i find the peace of a restless spirit. Dawn here. its still raining. I miss people, and not like kinda sort of. dammit. But you know, im alive, and i wouldnt back out of it if i could. i hope. I want to protect people and i cant. Cows are growing on me. Rain is still all right but the flooding is rather bad in a horride way. Im looking forwards to Theory all ready, if it doesnt happen or i dont see everyone i want/need too im just gonna cry. well im gonna do that anway. I fear growing up and changing so much that i cant relate to everyone the way i used to, or that i'll change so much that people wont think im cool any more. yikes. change has such a high price. -Dawn Oh, thank you so much. being called baby just makes my day sometimes. hoist up the johnb sails. see how the mainsail sets...i wanna go home... Except I am home. I feel complete, somehow, and also not whole. Mayhap this is as complete as one can get while living under her own roof. I feel so broke up. I wanna go home.... ~Ecstatic Wind {can someone log this page? I would if I could, but I can't} I feel crapy, I spent about 20 hours in Des Moines Iowa, and I HATE Iowa, and Des Moines, and grey hound, and all them people who told me that the roads where nice and spiffy, while I still had a chance to stay in a place I really liked for at least a few more days, with some really cool people! but they Lied to me!!! and said there was nice weather, and so I thought I would go home, get there in some nice time, go to an old tool sale, and meeting, hang out with Chris, kidnap Kim, and go home happy, and warm, but did I? nooooooooooooooo, there was snow, and ice, all over the place, worse snow strom sence '79 they tell me, (they tell me this after I am in the MIDDLE of the whole thing!!!) so I hang out in a tiny bus stop, with about 300 other people who are stuck there too, some of them have been there for 2 days, so I am the "lucky" one, at about 2:30 am, I feel the great need to get some sleep, and not knowing when my bus might leave, or anything, I find a spot on the floor that has less dirt then other spots, and try to get some sleep, soon learning that every time someone comes in, I get a nice shot of wind from the out doors, where it is about -10 degrees, at about 4:30 am, I find my self awake, and shivering, relizeing that the both the floor is cold, and the wind is cold, and over night, they lowered the temp in the bus station!!!
but I got home, 24 hours latter then they told me I could be here, and I feel like I brought a nice cold with me too.
on the bright side, I got my info for camp while I was gone, and becuase I was carfull on what I spent on my trip, I will still be able to go to at least ONE session of camp this year, and even though it was extreamly Sad to leave Ruth, and Mitch, and Ted, and Kim, and everyone else, I knew I was going to have to do it some day, and I can alwas go back, becides, when i got home, in my large pile of junk mail, there were a few nice letters, and Roxy sent me some Photos, and I still have yet to open the letter from colleen, and I need to do my taxes, for I got that form in the mail too, it says I only made $95.65 last year, so I guess I need to work a little more, ya know?
on the way home, I wrote what I think is a really nice letter, to who, I have no idea, for it has no name on it, I never did that befor, write with out a person to write to.
tomarow, if I am not sick, I would really like to call Lotus, and try to find a way to get together with her sometime, and I should findish unpacking. I got back to Corvallis three days ago to the jump and squeal of people greeting me home. Robyn, Jennyrose and Kat(e) were there to meet me. It was wonderful! I've spent the last few days avoiding work (what else?!) and hanging out mostly. It's nice to relax, if only I could relax. Aye me. I spent two weeks at Tessa's, and had a short trip to Victoria to hang out with Noam. I even got to speak on the radio show, which was fun (and even more fun is watching how they manage the studio. I guess I'm a human interaction geek...). I played lasertag recently, got my ass wiped by Blake and Aaron, my
co-worker and my boss I missed getting together with Cory, again. Argh. I'll have to do better next time. These visits are too damn short. I'm glad to be home. I miss Tessa, though. It's so hard to be so far from people you love. Love to all,
Um... I've been thinking a lot. I'm home for a two-week "vacation" (actually, I'm doing stuff for my dad, but am not being paid half as well for my efforts as I am on my landscaping job out of town). I really haven't done anything I came home to do. I've got one week to go... and by then I should have at least a driver's permit. But I'm so scared! I mean, I failed the test once before. Badly. So why should now be any different? I guess I'll study harder this time, but I test soooo badly. And I don't even really want to drive, but I need to learn. It's time. Goddamn it. On a lighter note, I just watched The Maltese Falcon and Rosencratz and Guildenstern Are Dead and The Seven-Year Itch and Grave of the Fireflies and Driving Miss Daisy and Empire Records all for the first time this week! How the hell did I miss those films? They're all awesome in their own way. Maltese keeps you thinking (plus it's Bogart and Astor and Lorre and Greenstreet all in the same film), R&S is darkly funny and incredibly well-written, Seven-Year is classic dumn-blonde Marilyn and very fifties, Grave is beautiful and lyrical and views like one haiku after another in its Japanese simplicity and the most depressing thing I've ever seen in my entire life, Driving Miss D. is slow and touching and understated and the sort of thing you'd watch with your mother, and Empire is very, very, very good for an early-ninties comedy. Actually, it's just good. Period. Killer soundtrack, too. I also saw Dogma again last night, and it really astounded me how well thought-out the script is. It was even better a second time through, which I can't really say about a lot of films. God, I'm a snob! I don't like sleeping alone. It's getting old. Cuddling is perhaps the most underapreciated act of mankind. Fergit sex; gimmie someone to sleep with! -Samantha the Longwinded and Opinionated and, um, I guess I shoulda put this on the ramble page Alllright, my wish came true and my teachers struck. Now I'm free for who knows how long. What should I do? I want to just get out, book a one way ticket and leaf, but where. how. who? I can't sit around the house much longer. And what about camp? Should I register, or hope that I'll still be in europe in septembre? How long does one generally stay in europe, anyway? Oohhhh, auntie Em! there's no place like home! there's no place like Hooomme. That's right. So let me leaf, now. Something hidden, go and find it, go and look beyond the ranges. Something lost beyond the ranges. Lost and waiting for you. Go. In search of True Love and High Adventure, ~Kim Also, I guess Dan (hi Dan) and I were writing on this page at the same time, because his post got saved and mine didn't. Fortunately I retrieved it for posterity, but still! Hurrah for women's Rights! Gut nachtmittags; for those who were not informed earlier of this, the library turned down my application for a page posistion, informing me 2 weeks after they were supposed to give me a call with a form letter that was conspicuosly missing my name after the 'Dear'...makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, as I usually do when I have the urge to go on killing rampages (sarcasm). In any case! 3 days later I got a job working for my father, which is not at all bad, everyone there knows me and its a fun place to work. As an associate of mine said; "Iiinnncommme!" I've been working on my plan to chip away at my very large amount of books that I haven't read, which is going well; so far I've been averaging 2 novels a week. Just finished Xenocide by Orson Scott Card, going into The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Leguin. My room has a perky atmosphere due to my 'Dave Burbeck's Greatest Hits' and I've been having some really interesting ideas for a story thats been going through my mind for awhile, and I might just get around to writing it down. I haven't been online as much as I'd like to, as certain people can attest to (I'm sorry! forgiveness please!). I'm off to work, Good day! ~Danopian, Humbly arrogant cynical optimist taoist christian guy~ I went to the mall today. Doh. But it was really fun...Kyra and I tried on really fancy dresses and gowns that poofed a lot and cost hundreds of dollars. And we looked damn good. Actually, the first one I tried on stunk...but the second was SO gorgeous. It was dull but shiny and red and it had princess seams and a HUGE skirt and I am so in love with it. If I had, oh, 400 dollars to blow on something stupid, it would be that dress. I would put my hair up and run down staircases in it and twirl and look up and waltz and laugh and feel gorgeous. - Emma I'm really pissed they wouldn't let us take pictures in that store, though! You can't see how pretty I looked. *sigh* shite, fook an' hell. today is the third. and it's like one. and so far it's been amazingly weird and confusing and sad and exciting. i got my period yesterday and i didnt go to bed until 3:40am and then i woke up at 8am to bad cramps, and took a bath and then felt like throwing up but didnt and went back to sleep for a half an hour between 9:30 and 10am. i woke up to the phone ringing. and well. i dont want to tell all to the entire internet-viewing public, but let's just say that everything's gonna be okay, but there's a bit of family drama going on. today is also our friend john's 40th birthday and he's all freaked out about it.. he's having a party and kate and my parents and i were going to go and then kate and i would spend the night with my older sister and go to corvallis on sunday to hang out with them hip corvallis cats. but that's not going to happen right now because of "the drama." i don't feel really dissapointed really. i mean, it would have been rad to go tomorrow but i feel like shit and i feel really weak and shaky and travelling like this isnt fun. so i'm staying home from the party while my parents go. plus i got this letter from one of my crushes today that made me feel all fluttery and is making me think a lot now. like ack crap what do i really want? what am i doing? and i've been doing that anyway. where am i going? i'm turning 18 in 3 months and am i going to move out? travel? if i move out, where to? eugene? portland? seattle? nj temporarily? and how do the aforementioned things interfere and change what i'm doing? i dont know yet, but we'll see soon enough. Ack. i love a good short word that can sum up everything at once. Ack. my entry in my journal today is written in big jennyrose print with a ball-point pen. my handwriting is generally a script/print mix in small handwriting, but today it's just straight large print.it's weird how things, events, feelings, and pens can change your handwriting. by the way, i really am okay. i just need to talk. ~jenla February 2nd 2001, 11:35PM I can't beleive it is already the 2nd month of 2001. I've been gone so much, from the 4th to the 8th I was at Marina and a 2 of my other friends birthday party, and then on the 12th I came here to Seattle to visit some family. I have been here like three weeks, but tomorrow I go home. I'm Happy to be going home I miss everyone, and I miss my sister a ton!! -*stina/christina* my life has meaning again, the world falls into some mixture of order. maybe i can figure it out. i'm going on a trip, out of this box. my head's in a box my head's in a box! but i'm afraid that corvallis won't change that, may even make it worse. glitterpixie DUDE! Our scanner works! And more Well, now that I'm over the flu, everyone else has it, meaning I'm stuck in the house running up and down flights of stairs to get pills, cough syrup, the thermometer, blankets, pillows, CDs, movies, answering the phone, taking messages, and basically attending to everything that has to be done. This also includes making (real) dinner for myself... mom declared that since I'm the only healthy one, I should be eating really well so that I don't get sick again. Thus, I cooked chicken, a baked potato, and melted cheese with brocolli for myself, almost none of which I consumed. Sigh. I made two new mixed CDs for myself this afternoon, and I earned $5 delivering fliers about a new zoning policy or some such matter for my grandma, who also took me to skating this morning. I just hope that the virus (or whatever they have) doesn't come back into my system again. We could be stuck in a vicious cycle!! I guess I'm just going to be out of the house as much as possible... Gramma said she'd take me to skating this week whenever I want to go, so I'm set there. ANYWAY... off to e-mail someone or play guitar, or maybe actually finish the book I've been trying to finish for the last month (The Unbearable Lightness of Being). -JessicaSkater i've been so happy lately. i dont know how to explain why. but the last couple weeks i've just been bouncing around the house. no depression has touched me. and yeah i still miss... i still miss. but i'm pretty much psyched for life. it's so beautiful (life, that is). i wake up almost every morning to a blue sky opening up the world outside my window and my laurel cow and girl adam giraffe on either side of me, and a kitty tromping on me. this morning i woke up and my blanket was over my face and it felt comforting and beautiful. i feel alive. i hate winter most times... but winter is just another season. it means fires and soup and the comforting sound of rain on the roof and working like hell on theory and wincing every morning i don't get the jr staff application from nbtsc yet because maybe i wont ever get it and maybe i wont get to camp and i thought that wasnt important to me, but evidentally it is, because with renewed vigor i race down to the mailbox in the morning or nag kate to do it. i've been making valentines everyday, the handmade special ones.. they mean something to me. -Jennyrose I just realized that I have a really cool life, and I'm really lucky. Whatever that means. And Jasmine's here! I got a letter from Dawn today!! Yay! So I'm going to go write her back now. -JessicaSkater Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Life Rocks. I love math. I've been thinking and wondering and worrying for a while, "Do I have enough money to go to both sessions of camp? Can I maybe buy a birthday present or two? What about Becky's party?!" I did some math this morning... $30 allowance per month, if 5 people come to an acting class I'm going to teach I get $140 a month from that, and if I can grab onto this babysitting job that I did once I get probably over $60 a month for that. Which adds up to $230 a month. Which means that by June, I should have $1,150 ! Which means I can probably go to Becky's party and a second session of camp and maybe travel some in the fall!!!!!! Ohmygod I am so happy you would not believe. Even if I've somehow completely overestimated, which is not likely because I tried to underestimate, I can go to both sessions. Especially since I've been planning on trying to get a part-time job too. There are no words to express my joy. *big fat grin* Whee, I'm doing good today. Not only did I play the piano for an hour and half, write letters, and send out my jr. staffer application, but yesterday my Mummy and Daddy and I had a Long Talk, the outcome of which means bascially that 1) I don't have to go to school next term, 2) They do not have to approve of my boy/girlfriend(s) [1], and 3) it is really okay if what I want to do with my life is start a commune and not make busloads of money. Hooray! -Robyn I have been sulky lately. Especially today, because my favourite entertainment left (Ryland and Ted. They're not just entertainment to me, of course...). But what kicks ass is Alyson let me move her keyboard to my room, and when I'm done with the dishes I'm going to go play from the piano books that Eire so generously gave. And what also kicks ass is Carl is over here. For once. Bwah. But what sucks is I want to shoot and blow up and beat the crap out of some computer generated life-forms, but Doom isn't working, Courtney refuses to load on Quake, and I don't have the game or the equipment for my real new obsession; Tekken. And, to top that all off, I might be falling in love again, though unwillingly. But maybe it'll go away. *said in a meek voice, immitating Meg Ryan >>"I will triumph" I MISS YOU ALL!!! AAAAAaaaaa dammit
no one knows what i mean when i say 'i miss unschoolers' only you guys do but you all live like way far away sigh
This is way too funny! http://www.brunching.com/toys/drugslanger.html
i want to cry but the tears wont come i want to love but my heart wont work i want to think but my moods brokon i want people here to hug me but they arent i want noughing but to not be so lonely i want a lot of thing today --Heather You know that feeling, when you are playing chess with a joker, and you make a move that you think is good, and as soon as you make it, his glance catches you and you stare at the board and realise that you should have never made that move you just made, and now you're trapped, really and truely (cruely) , for a good long time. I hate chess. I always lose. ~Wind January 14, late at night, after several times of re-reading a certain letter: Looking out on the morning rain, I used to feel so uninspired. And when I knew I had to face another day, Lord! I used to feel so tired. Before the day I met you, life was so unkind. You're the key to my piece of mind... 'cause you make me feel... you make me feel... you make me feel like a natural woman. When my soul was in the lost and found, you came along to claim it. I didn't know just what was wrong with me 'til your kiss helped me name it. Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for -Samantha Thurstday, January 11th, 2:45 a.m. I'm on a late-night high right now. I did most of the things I said I'd do today & have hammered out a good plan for my math studies. My mother is going to help me by previewing my textbooks and editing for the genuinely useful and enlightening sections, then dogearing them for me to read. I haven't officially "studied" anything in a long time, not really since my "school at home phase" five or six years back, which was awful. ;) I think it will work. I talked with her about it, and I told her that I really appreciated what she was doing, & that what I needed from her was to provide me with support and information when and where I asked for it, but that she not try to force or hurry me into anything. (Lessons learned from my last bout of "studying.") She understands and has agreed. And I think she really will hold by that. Life is nice! My other perk is that I've been working on a new web-site! My old one is really unsophisticated, but I spent four hours tonight reading about HTML and experimenting with it. Once I've got my new page finished to my satisfaction (or at least to adequacy) I'll put the addy up. My father, who is wise in the ways of technology, is in India right now, so I have to figure out things by trial and error. Maybe I'll come crying to one of you geeks sometime soon. For now, goodnight, friends! 1-9-01, 5:28 pm As of this particular moment, I am completely wired on three cups of coffee. Yeah, got to love that java monkey clamped resolutely on my back. Caffeine seems to do just the right trick these days....I seem to be continously busy. Excuse me while I rattle on for a moment here- chores, errands, helping take care of my grandmother, studying unconventionally (as usual), studying conventionally (shocking but true), preparing to start a new job, keeping up with writing letters, churning out a fresh new issue of BlueStreak, playing guitar...........Perhaps stopping would be a good decision. When do you sleep? (you ask) Well, (I reply) prepare yourself- I have actually gotten on a moderately good schedule! Egads. As in, early hours as opposed to late. Anyway, after I click on the Save button in just one minute, I'm off to attempt to start a page in here! Holy hydrogen bond. (my exclaimations seem to be tinted after an intense Biology study session today) Wish me luck, computer-illiterate moi. Tallyho, off for more multi-tasking! Love to all of you. Muah. /Landis/ 1-9-01, 5:57am i am in a really good mood right now, because i've had a great day. i am in connecticut at eireann's house, and even though it's freezing fucking cold (i think i'm getting used to it! i even gleefully participated in a snowball fight a bit earlier!), good fun is providing itself to me very generously. i got to go with her to her aikido class earlier, which was awesome because i needed to stretch and get some energy out. and we went to the movie theater she works at and played laser tag after it closed with some of her friends. with a strobelight and obscenely loud music. it was the first time i've ever laser tagged, and i kicked ass! and i had a refreshingly good time. at the moment i am sitting here listening to toy-box and trying to get warm, and wondering why no one's on irc at 6am.. dumb people that sleep! hmmph. i'm going to NYC tomorrow! to see lydia! and ben! and heather and julia and kat! woohoo! -courtney While at my grandparents', I put "Ice" on repeat for about an hour an drew the pic found at http://members.limitless.org/~emma/fairypen.jpg ! It's the first thing I've drawn in quite awhile. - Emma
Lalala... I'm doing nothing right now. Spent most of the day playing guitar (again) and kicking everyone's butt at Harry Potter Trivia. *grins* I'm not too happy about what I'm doing for New Years, though. I've gotta go over to the neighbor's house, and this guy who I liked for 7 years is gonna' be there. Last year, I told him that I liked him, and he turned me down flat. The other night, he has the gall to call me up and ask me out, and he knows about Dan. I, of course, turned him down and hung up, but I'm not relishing the thought of having to spend the night with him. He's an ass. -JessicaSkater
tomorrow i'm going to a rehearsal for this singing thing that we're going to perform on the 31st and early in the morning of the 1st. it's with this kid's theater group that i used to be in, showstoppers, and this singing thing is for 'past, present and future showstoppers' says the flyer. i think it's gonna be fun... well, we'll see tomorrow. Ohhhh life is good right now. Not only am I getting a cute little Aussie pup in a few weeks, but I found a trainer who is going to help me find a Training Internship! Wooohooooo! AND: I got enough money for Xmas that I can buy an A-Frame and Dogwalk for Agility! So now I can finish training Red (the agility dog) to compete! *happy Snoopy dance* -Katherine
i am bored out of my mind at this current moment, and have come to the conclusion that wiki and IRC are the only things that can keep me sane during this specific version of extreme boredom. i might do something extremely drastic otherwise, and it probably wouldn't accomplish anything. so i am going to hang out here for as long as possible. i wish naomi was actually on this earth right now. dear, you will probably see this, and then you will know the extent of my bitterness at having no access to the best cure for boredom (you, of course). *lets out a long desperate wail* -courtney hi... well, i've been thinking a lot lately. not about any one thing, (though it did sound like i was going to say that eh?) but i've just had all this thinking-time at work.. today was incredibly slow. i think that a grand total of about 40 people came to the library all day, which is really not a great number of people. i keep going around work feeling like i'm doing things the wrong way and will get in trouble for it. for some reason my boss (who is very kind but sometimes scares me) comes around at random moments when i'm doing something i probably shouldn't be doing... like when i was in the staff room today and i was eating the sweets on the table when i wasn't even really on a break (i had just sneaked over there when no one was looking..) heheh, i guess it's my own fault for doing things like that. :) arg, and i've been thinking too 'bout camp and money and all that stuff everyone else here probably thinks about too.. i realized a couple weeks ago that camp is really one of the only reasons i'm working. it's kinda weird but anyway, i'm just being silly with all this worrying. i know i'll go to camp or at least travel next semester, and it's really whether i like it or not. well, i will like it but what i mean to say is that there's some part of me that's completely determined to go and will even resort to making me go subconsciously no matter what i do. that's just the way i am. (and yes, second-guessing myself until the last minute and arguing with myself is also the way i just am.. ) akk! (grin) well, that's about it for now.. thanks for reading my ramble if you've made it this far! i'm just thinking crazy thoughts about this weekend when i house-sit for my big sis and watch the freaks and geeks marathon with chelsie all day. :) though we might end up going nuts instead. either way it will be fun. love (mari) [1] Playing with that word tickles me pink, by the by. NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 5 times, last edited on March 20, 2001 by 144.13.106.186. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
