Check in, baby.... CheckInArchiveOne CheckInArchiveTwo CheckInArchiveThree CheckInArchiveFour i've had a sucky day. nothing in particular happened suckily, i'm just sick of being alone. i woke up with a headache. i thought it went away but it didn't. i miss my parents. ugh. i miss you. i know a bunch of people have already written on it, but will someone please SqueezeKatelet? (katelet? who is that? a part of me asks. ah well, i'm too tired to make myself a new squeeze page just because i'm stuffy about what people call me.) kat I'm alive and well, just thought I'd poke my nose in here and say that. I've had two non-nbtsc friends staying over for a week so I haven't been online much. I have been horribly spoiled by the mail though; a letter from Franny, package from Jaz and a package from Carolyn. Everyone I owe letters and phone calls and emails to will soon be recieving them (soon being in the next week or two...hehehe). I love all of you! the peanutbutter mel i've been listening to bessie smith, matchbox 20, & the blues brothers on repeat. i tried to chop my finger off yesterday. well, i didn't literally try to, but i nearly did anyway. i just took a shower & i have a scarve over my head which makes me feel like i have long hair that i can flip around. marina's going to visit me soon, & i'm probably going to take her to a cafe that does "feminist drag" (whatever that means) every friday night, if i can get robyn to let us stay at the apartment that night (the 22nd). i'm cold. i'm never going to put black eyeliner on by myself ever again. i always make a huge mess & end up looking like somebody gave me a black eye. i'm going to get a job in june or july. yay me! smoochie boochies, kat "he was a good ol' wagon, but he done broke down..." -bessie I'm on jr. staff!!! WAAAHOOOOOO?!!! I just got an e-mail from Grace 5 minutes ago saying that I'm on for first session and she's trying to find something for me to do at second! I'm so happy. I also have had the past two days off from work, and spent them helping my dad with our maple syrup operation, juggling, juggling, and more juggling, and figuring out stuff about my upcoming trip to Emerie's party. I can juggle 4 clubs now. Life is treating me very well these days. I can't wait to see all of you guys at camp! Love to all... ~~Ted~~ I have my permit!!! and I also have 2 donations for the concert I'm organizing to benefit my darling KPFA, a sweet little e-mail from Emerie (mwah!) and a very nasty cold. xoxox im feeling different now more mature less a little kid i have more stuff to do. im doing amazingly well, i mean i have had two of my old friends comit suicide and my grandfather died in the last year the year, befor that my ucle comited suicide and both my cats died, so with all the death bad anrgy and all that rotton stuff thats been going on my life is at its best! im taking dance alot im doind ballet,jazz,tap,cloging. im in love witha girl that live 24 miles away! and she loves me AND we are NOT boyfriend and girlfriend which makes it even better! i havent cut in about 5 mounths and i will never do it again! ok well i will quit my psycho babble and leave love you allThomas Houston, we have a baby. Well, we don't, but Bob and Gretta do. E-mail me if you want more information. I'm too tired to type it up now. My life is shit. I miss all of you a lot. Isn't that the gosh-darndest thing? That's what I want mosta pantheon of all you precious people around me. Maybe then I could get things done (that is, not get anything done but not care!) or stand to listen to the news. I love you all. Wish me luck on my permit test tomorrow. A sudden lifting of spirits. I will leave this place Very soon i tell work that i am Leaving that I quit and that i am going away to Visit someone and i dont know when i am coming back. april. going to visit Ryland. the thought makes me warm and happy. A viel thins under the realization and choices. Finally. Change. -Dawn .... Thank you Universe. I got away with it that time. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. -Dawn who is going to sleep WELL? tonight I have a headache and a sore throat. :( RH my eyes are geting tired, and it's not even 10pm yet, I've been working on makeing some stuff out of old tape player parts, and puting the rest of them in the correct bins, and trying to figur out what to use each part for, and what I don't need, so I can tose it out, I don't think this is what the meen, when they tell you to recycle, but in my mind, this is the best way to do it. I miss Dawn, and have been thinking about her alot, i wish she was online right now... I think that more people should use Pogo Sticks, I was looking at a web site that had information on hop rods, last night (those were the gas powered pogos sticks from the 60's) my leg is sore again today, making it annoying to stand for very long, makes me pretty sure that I did not brake my leg. I had something else on my mind that I was going to type about on here, but I forget what it was now... lets see... Chris, and Lorin are going to be here monday afternoon, and stay till tuesday morning, when chris and I are going to teach a few kids at the home schooling groupd gathering, how to do wood carving, it should be fun. oh yeah, my brother should be out of prison by July. life's not to bad. Well, 24 hours later, and there's still no baby. They came home from the hospital last night, and contractions slowed down but got more painful, so they just left for the hospital again. That means I'll be able to visit her when I go to St. Joe's for my class today! But yeah... sigh. I feel really bad for my mom right now. tonight i have come to two realizations: it is FAR? too windy to study, and why doesn't life look like it does on the box? all the doors are slamming on their own tonight, but we in southern california do not believe in heaters or even decently warm clothing, so! i sit and shiver and my history book glarrrresss at me and my imagination is having a field day with all of the windnoises outside. my dog doesn't like this weather. she barks at the air. i would too. because i like it. oh studying. it should be reserved for days with no weather at all. I am sick. My curseder, belovedfamily was sick, and for some reason they decided that was a good reason to visit me, so now I'm sick too. Spent all day feeling half-dead, then took a shower... now I'm clean and half-dead. Everything that can ache aches. Everything that can be sore feels sore. In fact, I am so sick that I'm whining on CheckIn, which I generally pretend doesn't appeal to me. Even my hair hurts... how the hell can my hair hurt? I'm happy, and feeling torn at the same time. I'm going home to see my Mom. This time next week I'll be an hour's ride away from Nelson. I feel tremendousely lucky to get to go back, it's been ten months since I've had a good talk to her in person, and I miss the old house and the animals there as well. The down side is that I'm missing Robyn's spring break unschooler get together. If I could be in two places at once, I'd do it in a second, believe me (hmm, or three places at once - I could do with some serius traveling time. Now I'm getting carried away though). I will be sending happy thoughts to everyone from (as usual) far away. I am always surprised when I see the sun rise again and again and again, every morning. Some day it will stop, and I won't be surprised. kim. My mom's in labor. She's been in progressive stages since 3 AM, so hopefully there'll be a baby by midnight. PUSH?! PUSH?! PUSH?!... wait. get me hot water! the baby cannot come without hot water! PUSH?! PUSH?! -ali (lots of love thoughts to melissa) Today I feel like I matter to people only when it's pleasent to care about me. I feel like my feelings don't effect anything important, and I feel crappy that the only time I write checkins is when I feel bad. March/11/2002 Today is a strange day. I got up this morning,awake,alive, and a little nervous because i had alot of phone calls to make to alot of organizations regarding a writing program i want to run at these organizations. i hate phones. they make me all shakey, sweaty, and nervous feeling. i got my whole " to do " list done, including cleaning my room and doing my laundry (yay for clean socks and underwear, as well as a floor i can actually see!) The air today was beautiful and the sky so clear, with wild crazy winds making the landscape all vivid and momentum-filled. Then i went into town to talk to this guy, Mick Melvin, about running my writing program at West Chester Community Center. They've got this great group of kids in an afterschool program there...i walked into the building and felt like i was at home...you always know it's good when the first thing you see is a bunch of kids busy with stuff they seem to be enjoying, and you have to ask one of them to show you where the adults are, because you don't see any around... I had a meeting with Mick about my program, and he's really really excited, which excites me, so everyone is just a jumble of excitment, and now i'm not so nervous about all the other meetings i'm gonna have to have with all these scary adults in positions of authority. I feel like they're just going to tell me that it's ridiculous that an 18 year old would try to come into an afterschool/YMCA/community center type organization and teach kids creative writing combined with creative arts. I feel inadequate and unable to convince these adults that i CAN handle this, that i'm good with kids, and that i know whati'm doing. ahhh! and then i call home all happy and energetic about my wonderful meeting with Mick Melvin, and my mom tells me that my little sister (emma, 10 yrsold) has diabetes. which at least isn't cancer or something, but i don't think she knows that she's going to have to give herself insulin shots everyday...my mom is going to let the doctor tell her. it just sucks for her and i feel badly. Now i am feeling strangely disjointed, unconnected to the world, and depressed. not strange as in 'this doesn't happen very often', but strange as in: whenever i feel like this, the sky is so far away, the land is so far away, and i am just floating around in this hazy dusty tornado swirl that plows through everything, every thought,every feeling ultra-super-fast, and doesn't recognize anything coherently. No drugs involved in this feeling. Cigarettes are essential on nights like this, but i'm going to get lost in the sky if i go outside. it will loom super huge,dark, and devouring. naomi's coming to visit rachel soon, for her birthday, but i'm excited to see her too. there are two parties Bri and I wanna go to soon...one has reid speed, bri's favorite jungle goddess, as well as freaky flow, and krs-1, to name a few. the other,deisal boy, dj dara, and ak 1200. deisal boy may be painful live...but he'll be alive as hell, and hard. maybe life is looking up...i just can't wait till sunrise and daylight. sweet. sarah c. It's almost 5:00 and the sunlight is slanting down the hallway. It's becoming spring again. From what I've gathered of Colorado weather I should have finished that sentence with: it'll probably snow. --Carrie oh. and i am only a little bit hungover. ate dinner with the most famous living ceramic artist in the united states (possibly the world. paul soldner. heard of him?) the wine made it ok for me to be naked in his hottub. and he gave me a foot massage, (whose toes were matching his, in "paul's orange") while i sat between two greek statue--esque girls (just because the way their white breasts looked reflected against bushes and the water) and then we tripped through 83 bonsaii trees, looking for the peacock. i want to write stories. and i want to talk about how you can melt into the glass of purplered wine, and melt into the murky blueblack water in the hottub and you are so warm and so relaxed that you think your eyes are pooling into pockets of warm blueblack water, and your lips are as purple as the drink in your cup, and you want to write about melting into the atmosphere, where the sky above you matches the water around you, except for those stars. those stars that are like jewels, crawling out from behind the tall bushes surrounding you. it was decadence, in the most comfortable sense of the word. A few days ago, it snowed a little, then that turned to pellets of ice (like very very small hail, it felt like walking around in sand, very grainy) and then it rained an inch or two, and then yesterday, and last night, it was freaking COLD?, (that, and rain, is not good, so it all froze solid, making a sheet of ice on everything) and then it snowed a little, so there are spots that are shear ice, that you can walk on (and fall on) and others that are waist deep snow drifts, so I was out there today, and it was nice and sunny, and it was slippy as all hell... so I, being the bright boy, I am think... SLEDDING?! so I get out my really REALLY fast sled (the kind that you can steer, with steel runners, I have about 5 of them that I used to race against my brothers on) and go down the yard, towds the road a few times, seance my sled has steering on it, I was able to slide sideways, and stop, before I got to the road, so I think, I NEED? A SNOW SUITE?!!! and I need to go acorse the road, to the cable TV tower's hill (nice big hill that is pretty smooth, and long) so I go in, and get a snow suite, but my parents are home at this point, so they ask me if I can water the chickens, and get any eggs that are up there (the chickens are up toward the top of the hill behind the house) so I go.. yeah. I can do that, so I grab the sled, and walk up there with the water, water the chickens grab the two eggs and start going down the hill, realized that if I try to walk, i will fall so I hop on the sled put the two eggs in the water bucket with a little snow, and figure that there is the garden (it's and bumpy flat) half way down, so I cut acrose hoping to slow down enough to stop, only slow down a bit... but then it gets steeper again after that, and goes past the house... so I avoid the house, and am sailing past the house, at a pretty good clip, realize that it is shear ice, with no snow at all to grip the runners, just ice and on one side of me is the house, other side, small trees, in the middle, 6" inch cast iron pipe sticking up out of the ground, basically a sheet of ice all around, on a slope luckily, I did not hit the house, or the trees did I mention the 6 inch cast iron pipe? how my mind was working at this time was something like this "your head is important, so be sure not to hit it on anything hard, like the house, or a tree, or that pipe... and if you can't don't brake the eggs..." so first I did my best to make sure my head was safe, and I forgot about the eggs, and just let go of them... and some how, my leg got in the way of that darn pipe.... I couldn't have been going more then 20 miles per hour... sideways on ice, till the pipe stopped me... so I lay there for about 5 minutes, wondering if I broke the eggs, or my leg found that I was in so much pain, that I could not even get in my hands and knees for another 5 minutes, till I crawled over to get the eggs, and sled and the EGG'S? were JUST? FINE?! then I sat there, with my sled, and the eggs, wondering if I should go in side, crawl up to the window, and bang on it, till my parents came to help me inside, or if I should go back to the top of the hill, and try that again, because that was A LOT of fun! I don't know if I broke my leg or not right now, it hurts A LOT, less if I wrap it in an ace bandage I hit it, on the left side (the pipe started out on the right of me, I roiled over... or something) and hit me in the thy, were there is lots of nice fat so I think I should just have a good size bruise... I hope... if it is still bad tomorrow, I am going to call up the chiropractor, who can do Ex-rays. I've been walking around a bit, but unless I have it wrapped up, it hurts like hell, feels like a bruise, not a brake... as best as I can tell. so that is what I did today, I figur, at least I had fun, and limb heal, and I saved my head from being smashed, and the eggs were safe! so what did we learn now? next time, head twards the street on the sled. I feel truly horrible. The kind of horrible where you cry 2/3 of the day, and KNOW you're overreacting, but can't help but keep crying anyway. My God. It must be PMS. Please let it be PMS and not that I'm losing my sanity. If I lost my sanity, would you still love me? My mom says I'm cute when I'm insane. Heh. I suppose I haven't lost all humor. I did something today that I've only ever done once before. I passed out. I was at the cancer research center with Kelli and Caitlin, because they had to do a report for school. We were listening to this guy talk about the effects of cancer on bones, and all of a sudden I got really hot and dizzy and I felt like I was going to throw up. Kelli noticed this and asked me if I needed to go outside, and I said yes, but as I went to get my coat off the table, I blacked out and hit the floor. I've got a nice bruise on my cheekbone from smacking my face into the linoleum floor, too. Luckily one of the people giving the presentation was a nurse, so she took care of me once I came to, but god that was scary. I don't like passing out. Fionaboo, are you getting enough iron, girl? Relationships. shakes her head I'm glad I know what I know now. Makes me wonder how knowlagable I'll feel in five years. And what I'll have learned by then. And how high the price will be. In other news, I'm leaving on a Greyhound in less than 36 hours, and I won't be back for 3 1/2 months. Check out http://marinalives.livejournal.com 03/08/02, 6:15 PM I'm having a horrible mood-swingy day. I started it off sort of upset and confused and generally yucky, and then I went to skating and felt really really good because I was skating well, and then I went grocery shopping with mom and Casey and felt sick. Then I came home and felt like shit for an hour, then watched m*a*s*h with mom and Casey and when I came upstairs to check my e-mail, the UPS man knocked on the door. He had a box from Amazon.com which contained the first-season DVD? of m*a*s*h! From Ethan! So then I was exceedingly happy, and watched 3 more episodes with mom, who had to lie down for half an hour to see if she was leaking amneotic fluid. Which she's still not sure about. So I'm betting that she'll have this baby within the next few days. Rather, I really really hope that she'll have this baby within the next few days. And in other news, I'm not using LJ anymore because people take my posts the wrong way and get upset with me which makes me upset with them right back, so I'm only going to be reading people's journals and not posting ever. Now I have to go babysit. Joy of joys. Today has been very...........long.......... And it ain't over yet. My grandfather had double-bypass heart surgery this morning, and to everyone's great relief, it went fine. I know that from the surgeon's point of view this was totally routine, but I was really worried about Pop. I can breathe again. So now he just has to get through the recovery. At the same time, my cat was at the vet's having her mouth fixed (!). Apparently we hadn't been brushing her teeth enough (um, we hadn't been at all...), so her gums had gotten all inflamed and rotten. Yuck. She's quite indignant about the whole thing, but she's fine now too. I'm feeling better about the general state of the world today than I was yesterday. Between being scared about my grandpa's surgery and then talking to my aunt in Jerusalem, who sounded very tired as she told me that the latest attempted bombing took place across the street from where she was swimming... I was pretty convinced that the world was a mess. In other news, my aunt and seven-year-old cousin from Tel Aviv arrived yesterday and are staying at our house (and, on my cousin's part, waking up and tromping about at 3 a.m. Oy.). It's good to see them, although most of the visit so far has been spent driving back and forth to the hospital. I am tired. But I'm okay. The rest of the world may not be, but I'm okay. I'm feeling relatively at peace and un-self-centered. I'm looking forward to my party very much, and on Sunday I'm going to see a wonderful production (from what I've heard) of one of my favorite plays, starring one of my dearest friends, who is a brilliant actor as well. (Ted, if you're reading this That means that I won't be home to receive a phone call until the evening on Sunday...) I love you guys. -Emerie I need a sanity break right now. Monday can not come soon enough for me to get back to where I belong, be back out in the wilderness. I won't want to come back. -mike i'm hella confused. -al so i'm mel, yo. so i have honey stuck to my pants so i'm eloping with the little pink soap man so i deleted a few things, so what's the big deal? so I'm alright, so stop freaking out, yo. i'm so fucking pissed off. and i'm a bitch for being pissed at him. i'm also confused when it comes to certain people. where do i stand? and, last but not least, I'm mad at myself for wanting certain things... aaaaargh. (when I grow up, i'll be stable -garbage) -jessica I'm mad at somebody, and I'm mad at myself. I want to do everything! I want to devote a lifetime to each wonderful possibility that exists. I want to become a dancer, translator, scientist, naturalist, polylinguist, martial artist, activist, bum, painter, house-builder, carpenter. Yesterday at my dance class I got lifted into the air with my legs spread out in a leap and my arms majestically out to my sides like wings by three handsome young men ordered to do so by my dance teacher. Well, only one of them was really handsome, but my goodness. *blushes* My teacher wanted to show everyone how to take a leap (it seems that you are supposed to suspend effortlessly in mid-air with your legs in splits). I love my classes, all of them. Fencing is awesome and I love it. The boys have stopped asking "Are you okay?" each time they get in a touch. ;) I went to see Michael Moore last night...I hope y'all know about him. He is one funny dude. He talked a lot about the bush/bin laden connections, which I'd only heard a bit about, but are truly a murky little can of worms. I don't have to go to work today!!!!!! I keep getting letters and more letters, and not writing any. I wish they would space themselves. I'll have long gaps without a word from anyone, then a flurry of little collaged funky envelopes through my mailbox, then another long gap... love you all!! creepiest thing that happened to me today. I called the white house to be a good little dissenting citizen. I told the operator about Lori Berenson & then added that I had a comment about Iraq. Me: I don't think we should bomb Iraq cuz it's not going to do anything to sadam hussein, it will punish the Iraqi people, and will only further alienate other Muslim countries. Operator: *long sinister pause.* Alright, I'm writing that down. And who encouraged you to call the white house today? [as if Americans would only ever excercise their freedom of speech if manipulated to do so by some bigger organization.] Me: *laughs* my own conscience, sir. but what the hell was that about anyway?! -R frustration Options are too many dammit. I want 2 weeks with my lover and nothing else. I dont want to look for a different job, i dont want to try to start to structure my life for the next year. patiance we must be patiant with these things. I'm 19 and think i should have everything perfectly under control by the time i'm 21. I'd like to goof off for a while you know? -Dawn In yet other news, Roya is such a liar that she even lies about being a liar. But I love her anyway. in other news, i am not a liar. Roya's a liar. She's at my house. So are Evan and Kathleen, and Jess and Victor and Carolyn are downtown with Ethan. I just found out all about Quo Vadis, so I'm cool. And Evan's funny. ("I know my trash can better than most people.") And I need to get dressed for the Ani concert. And life so rocks right now. i'm sitting at evan's house, feeling warm and content and minty. we spent yesterday singing like sexy women in his shower (better acoustics) and eating rice with hairproducts. last night we went to the beach, where we walked magic phospheresence, which was then drowned out by the swarming of police searchlights. i have been having good talks, playing a lot of music, and feeling so safe. life is good, my little chickadees. life is good. tonight is my second ani difranco show in two days, tomorrow i get up at 5:30am to walk to the train station and make it home in time for an 11am class. and i'm feeling slightly insane, and sleep deprived, but.. i've never been more confident in my ability to survive. today i wrote an angry poem (PoetryMarathon) & last night i did a collage. last night i had a dream where my friend matt & i went tromping down this gross alley in New York City in the middle of the night into this impoverished person's video store & into his backyard where he had cat litter all over the ground. then matt & i left & i kept trying to tell him that i needed to get to my hotel room but he kept saying that he "didn't want to lose me," whatever that means. pretty wierd. i have wierd dreams every night. it's really insane. darkroom! darkroom! darkroom! cameras! cameras! cameras! photos! photos! photos! kat I am sleepyhappy. Today was nice. More on that later. First, an update on my college auditions, if anybody was wondering: I never have to do another one ever ever again! I am finished forever with applying to and auditioning for colleges. Yay! Now I just have to wait and see whether they want me. Entirely out of my hands. Wonderful. (I do hope I get in, but I am confident that I did my best, so if I don't get accepted I can feel justified in calling the admissions people idiotic assholes.) Now I shall speak of today. Today was nice. My mother and I took my cats to the vet and I felt that I was comforting to them. I watched an episode of my favorite TV show while eating Thai noodles and drinking Chai tea (Chai 'n' Thai! TM ). I wrote a real paper letter to a certain Canadian boy who never writes me real paper letters (but I love him anyway). I talked to the beautiful and talented Rosie-girl. I went to work, where today was the second weekly unofficial Girls Night at Video Americain (all three staff members were female, which is unusual), and we had a smashing time with "Judy Berlin" and "Edward Scissorhands" and "Grease" and Chinese food and ice cream. And when I got home, my mom had a baked potato and a storybook waiting for me. I hadn't been read to in so long, and it was just lovely. I don't know if that sounds sillyan 18 year old having her mother read her a bedtime storybut it was very nice. Perhaps tomorrow night I'll read to her. I feel like purring. Goodnight now, darlings. -Emerie ARG. I AM PISSED?. ARG. jessica So this aquaintance of mine is a teacher at a local alternitive preschool. A while ago she asked me to speak on this panel about homeschooling. Also at this panel was this man named Courage who'd unschooled all his life, doing things like sailing around South America and building houses from the ground up with his nine brothers and sisters. Pretty awesome guy. A little while ago he came into Jamba Juice where I work, and I said "Hey, weren't you at that panel at the preschool?" We talked for a couple minutes, and he asked for my email address so I could tell him about the traveling I'm going to be doing. (in less than two weeks, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA? but that's another story.) Tonight, he emailed me saying "I'm taking my boat out tomorrow afternoon with a bunch of people and you would be welcome to join us. Hopefully we will be able to play with some dolphins, and maybe we will be lucky enough to spot a whale or two." I managed to rearrange my work schedule for tomorrow. I'm going to be picked up by a man I've never met, named Now. (Courage's younger brother, "He looks like me except he has blue eyes") I cannot believe this is happening to me. Wow Marina!!!! Good luck!!! Hmmm..! Hey. I'm back, I think. Why did I leave? It's a long story. Ask me in IRC or AIM if you want to know. Why did I come back? The answer to that is simple. It's because I love you. - Naela Welcome back!!!! It's times like these when it feels like the only thing I *can* do. I'm ready to live. -Candra I love you guys. I don't know where I would be without you, or if I'd even exist at all. You give me hope when everything is lost. Even when you're half a world away, that doesn't change. Thank you. Eireann I want I want I want? what am I talking about? I know I don't want what I think I want. I'm just trying to give my feelings a name. Bad Jess. I don't actually want what I THINK I want. Which is a relief. Because I don't want a lot of things that come along with wanting what I think I want. (confused yet? good!) In conclusion: I am happy with what I have. jessica I'm at the local internet cafe, thinking how bizarre it is that I will drive thirty miles once a week to use a technology that mostly thrives on looking instant. I have a mailbox I check every day, but I still think I need email that "flies around the world in thye bat of an eye", even though I don't see it for weeks after it gets there. I'm as broke as I wish to get, but that can change anytime I get my butt in gear and work... I want to get paid to play music and carve wood and write and take photos. I want to keep getting paid to work with my dad. I want to do what I want when the mood hits, and get a check at the end of the day. I think winter is getting to long... I'm getting lazy about my wishes. I need mail. Chris B. i'm obsessed with you and i don't know who you are. i don't know your name. all i have is one picture and i open and stare at and make up stories in my mind. you, of course, are a local boy. you have red hair now, but it's been blue and purple before. you know who i am and you've fallen in love with my sadness. i will fall in love with your anger and together we will balance out to happiness. mystery. love it. in other news, i saw james dean driving down the street in a green clunky truck and i knew that my true love is out there somewhere. driving past parks, feeding the ducks, smoking on the corners, waiting for your truly to find him and feed him oranges (for the vitamin c) and keep him healthy, even though i love his pout. it'll happen. i promise. because when i look at the world today i see the characters; the slouching shoulders and the rose petal lips and i need something out of a fairy tale, or at least a short story. something like a french art film, my life is made up of other people's compulsivity (it's a word now) and i need someone with strong hands and beautiful far seeing eyes to sweep me off of my feet. until then james dean will drive around in his dusty green truck, punk boi's in photos will stalk me, and i will turn and stalk them, and the world will go up in a big puff of viceversa. and i am always in love with love. i feel kind of wierd today, wired & exhausted & freaking cold. i am writing a song which feels good, but also apprehensive & kind of "why bother?" nothing i write sounds like anything special & i just feel really lonely & isolated right now. i want to have a real conversation with one of my friends, with real eye contact. i want to read some of my writing to someone to see what they really think. i want someone to take pictures of. today is sunny, almost entirely cloudless & it's beautiful so beautiful but i feel like i can't really appreciate it. tomorrow my parents come home & so i have to clean the house today. i hate having to clean the house for my parents, never for myself, always for them. see, what i want doesn't matter here. no wonder i feel so out-of-control all the time. i want to go up to Port Townsend to visit Nick & Mical & Charlie if he's still there. but i don't have hardly any money & ... why do i feel like my parents don't want me to travel? they want everybody to travel here but for us to stay here. how can i not travel? i grew up with travelling. it's in my blood. you can't take a kid on the road 24/7 for the first 12 years of their lives & then expect them to drop it & never have the urge again. especially now. no, my parents really aren't that bad...they let me travel, they just don't want me to. i never realized how much my mom dislikes travelling. i always thought she loved it, that that was why she did it. only now do i realize that she really doesn't like it that much. oh sure, she loves seeing New York & Memphis, but she hates to travel. me, i love roadtrips. mom would rather fly, be there as fast as possible. ok. i'm done. sorry this is so long. (if it is long) i think i might make a new zine. kat dammit i can't decide what to do: apply for more partime jobs to bring in more cash apply for schools and scholarships apply for overseas volunteer projects apply for jobs in the paper that say 'big money...sales!) househunt what i want to do: sleep Please send some good energy my way tomorrow at 2:00 pm EST, darlings. That's when I'll be auditioning for NYU. (eee!) I'm a bit nervous, but I'm confident in my skill and preparedness, and I plan to do the best I can and keep in mind the advice of the great W.H. Macy: "Speak clearly, give it your best shot, and if they don't like it, fuck 'em." :-) But it'll feel good to know that there are some beautiful unschoolers thinking encouraging thoughts about my getting into school (frightfully ironic, isn't it?). New York is, um.... New York. Great and grimy at the same time. I came up here this morning, and saw an excellent play in the afternoon ("Homebody/Kabul" by Tony Kushner). Then this evening I got to watch my cousin's video of the 1986 Tony Awards. That is exciting to almost no one but myself, I know, but for those of you who understand why I care, I will say just this: Rupert is a genius, and wore very ugly glasses in 1986. <grin> I love you. I miss you. (And that also goes for those of you who aren't Ted.) -Emerie Family are people you fight with... ...and you're still family. smile I'm not going to Nicaragua. Id applied to a program to go with a group. The director called me this afternoon to tell me that i wasnt accepted. Why? She said i am over qualified, that this wouldnt be challenging enough for me. That i should look towards and intership. wow It kinda pleases me, its neat to see a marking of my journey somewhere along the way. Human Ecology. thats what i want to study. I am now armed with a name. I'm not sorry. I feel good. -Dawn Good things that happened today: I slept curled up on a fluffy white bed in a patch of sun. I went on a long bike ride and breathed in all the intoxicating tantalizing smells of spring. I found some clean underwear. I made this really yummy dinner with all sorts of exotic spices in it 100% vegan. I didn't have work or school. Marina & Kathleen may be coming to visit. I love being alive. Each time I listen to this CD (Lincoln by TMBG) I love it more. I'm halfway through Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson for the second time and am loving it more and more too. I just finished one chocolate bar and have another sitting on my floor. I slept twelve hours last night. I'm trying hard to get some semi-firm travel plans. Yeah, life is good... why does it seem like everything i do is making me more alone and introspective? ~j Grumpy. -Dawn Ryland is gone. I am alone in the house with my mother and my little sister. I have been in one place to long, i am itching to go. The wind is onnomiuse today. "and i am in love with you, but it is no fun..." -Dawn. slightly heartbroken, high on sugar, low on love Dawn, you could take a trip to Australia, if you wanna go somewhere *wink* -Eire my dad and i. we have our problems. that's it really. (except you know there's so much more.) Becky has a working signature, and that makes me very happy. parking ramps scare me. -franny Just had a big family tiff/scuffle/fight. Wow. What fun. It's been a bizairre day. Everyone else is heading for bed, but I feel like my day hasn't even begun because I always sleep so late (plus this added to it, which I basically started my day off with). >:/ RH Feb 16 02 If we have to keep looking for something larger in life to make us happy.....something beyond the every day.....why do the every day things make me so happy? Can I not live my life with a bowel of rice at my side to run my finger through? Can I not live my life with warm underwear on my bottem and a warm fuzzy towel around my middle? Why do I have to keep looking for something "bigger" when everything little fills me up so completely? You don't. You've got it. There's no need to look for anything bigger. Contentment is so hard to find anywhere, if you find it in that which is ordinary, that's great. Congratulations. I haven't looked at or posted on wiki in a long time.. I filled out the camp registration form, and now I just need to get the money order and send it. So hopefully soon I will be a certian session oner. I am excited, and I am so glad I have decided to go again. -erin w I got 8 1/2 hours of sleep and I'm happy. And a little stir-crazy. I also got three letters in the mail today. *big big smile* Glow. Tears. Laugh. Smile. Sigh. Sunday I will be....grin. Guess. holy goddess i just babysat for 13 hours nonstop. oyi, remind me never to have kids till i'm in the 20's or 30's. oyi. blimey my hair is red now. it was supposed to be black. at the beginning of this strawberry cream popsicle i was ready to chew out everybody i knew, throw up, and become a hermit. now i am remembering that everybody has their good points, and maybe i can live among my fellow humans for a little while longer. good popsicle. i recomend them. in other news; i have a glaze named after me, and paul soldner invited me out to dinner. (glaze; Sweet Dreams, paul soldner; father of american raku, HOLYSHIT?) i want another popsicle. I am ready to be overwhelmed now. ~jafe~ Ryland is making sawning noises on the far side of the room as i put finishing touches on a church service for tomorrow. Im thinking about a brief road trip to show him the mountains. I cant beleive he leaves a week monday. It's cold outside today but it smells like frosty summer mornings. I miss the smell of hot tarmak. -Dawn Well, guess who just had a three hour talk with her mother over a fermented cheese sandwich? And ate most of it, because she was so nervous? Me. happyhypertiredsleepy It's 5:53am. I have been awake for 23 hours and 56 minutes and I know the meaning of life. Ethan and I just spent about twenty minutes saying "Ross swiss" to each other and cracking up. It was awfully fun. things in my life: a new hairstyle (!) a stuffy nose plus hacking cough the need to draw, to write, to do something creative (i want to start taking guitar lessons. badly.) three of my closest friends close enough to hang out with pretty much anytime i want --kat today was cool, awake and out of bed by 6:30am, standing in a grocery store parking lot, looking around, wondering if it is open, at 10 after 7, standing in line, noticing the man in the nice sute, with a cart FULL? of eggo waffles, single surveing pudding cups, and coke, with a few other odds and ends, but that is what made up the most of it, (the store had a sale on, and dawn and I decided to do the shoping for her mom) by 8:30 we had everything home, unpacked, and well on the way to beinging put away, when we left agian, this time, for a close to two hour car ride, (with some of the longest, straitest road I have ever seen) to the farm she grew up on, where we tromped around the woods for just under two hours, with all the places she had done things like gone camping with her sister, or do this, or that, as a child, all the while, we were trying to get to a spot, where you could see her old house, without being in a spot that he could see us, if when he left, a quick (45 minut) walk back to the car, and in to town, to meet her father (owner of the above farm) for lunch... that was interesting... he was quiter then I thought he was going to be, not the kind of person I dare argue with, for you just get frustarated, and give up, but for the most part, it seemed he was trying to make a good impresion on me for one reson or another. then we wondered around town, taking all of 5-10 minuts, to drive... slowly... down every street, at least once... and stoped to have tea, with christy's (who sometimes posts on here, fasinating young woman) parents, and younger brother, haveing a smashingly good time, talking about all manner of things, and we even got to see where they do all the work on the local news paper, and the old printing press, and the other cool toys they have around. got back in the car, and drove another 2 hours back to Edmonton, on the way, passing a few factorys, where a shift was getting off work, and there were 100's of cars, merging on to this devided highway, that seemed to have been built, just for this reson, to get people from this clump of factorys, to this little suberb, where everyone "lives" all the while, we are driveing right next to train tracks... and i am thinking, WHY THE? HELL ARE THEY? DRIVEING????????? and at that very moment, I gave up hope, on 93% of the US population, for here were 1000's of people driveing about 3 miles, each way to work, next to train tracks, that could VERY easly, have a comuter train put on them, and be used a good part of the day, just takeing people from there suberb, to their facory... but NO, everyone has to drive, 1/3 of the cars had two people, the other 2/3's had ONE, and most of them were pickup trucks... STUPID? STUPID? STUPID?!!! it made me want to scream! they are killing me! there IS a better way, everyone would be happier, there would be less trafic, less polution, everyone would save money, lots of money, and if people wanted to live even farther away from the factorys, they could! and becuase of there being no car trafic, it would only take a minut or two longer to get to work, and becuase they would not be driveing, they could read, or talk to people, or knit, or whatever they wanted to do! it just makes so much sence! but people are to fucking stuped to do ANYTHING that makes sence. so we got back, just in time, to change in to nice cloths in the car, and go to an educational thing, that they had befor a play, then we saw the play, great acters, best set I ever saw, very very nice thetor, but the play... sucked... kind of a week storie, about people who have way to much money, and time, and way to big of egos, so they spend all their time sleeping with each other behind eachothers backs... yeah... so dawn and I sudenly realize, all we ate, from between 6:30am, and midnight, was... scrambled eggs for brekfast, sanwitch for lunch, and... lots of suger, chocolat, and more suger... with a few chocolat covered coffee beans tossed in there, to keep us alive... Seeing Canadian factory workers driving home made you give up on 93% of the US population? Emma With long, shiny, black gloves do I type. This evening I play dress up... My grandmother's swingin' 1950 s little black dress, my new Tights (yes, they deserve a capital T), funky chunky Mary Jane shoes, black satin cord around my neck, rhinestone-accented cat-eye shades over my eyes, black top hat atop my flowing hair, and very dark very purple lipstick on my lips. DAMN I look good. Soon, I will add the final piece of my outfitRosemary's Petaluma Pythonand begin the photo session..... "Andy, are you goofing on Elvis? Hey baby... Are we losing touch? ..... Here's a little legend for the never-believer. Yeah yeah yeah....." -Emerie I'm not sure I want to be alive right now. Jafe I'm jittery! Doom and splat! well, i thought i was happy, but now i don't really know how i feel about it. -ali blah blah blah. but... i don't want to be spayed! *grin* it seems like people are either sad or annoyingly happy. can't we have some balance, people? jessica Is everyone I know unhappy...? i'm not. jess Dude im fantastic i just got back from denver wear i got to spend the weekend with a hole bunch of DAMN good dancers (who some of which wear realy cute) all execept the guys but hey i dont like guys but if were a girl those guys wpould be in some BIGGGGGG? trouble any way it was fun i got to be with my friends i got to eat at to REALY? cool resturants! and i got motivated (im going to bne able to do the splits SOON!) so yes im doing well i love you all good bye Signed: Thomas i'm not a goddess. i get down on my knees to worship Someone Else. i won't get down on my knees for you, but i want to bruise my body to help you reach the top. so you can help me up. i'm not a goddess, though. so come back down to the ground with me so we can smell the sweet dirt that was given us. i'm happy with what i've got (sometimes). i'm going crazy. i have sand in my shoes so why and i suddenly so far from that ocean? i miss that ocean. but mostly i miss you. -franny Hello. It's snowing. It should be raining. Sky tears. Yes, that's my mood. The sky should cry because I love you so much and waiting is hell and and. Something else. Oh yes, I'm not going to try to sleep off another day. Ever. I want to live to be 100 and something. Because I love being alive and there is so much living to do. I can't touch you. I am not patient but that doesn't matter anymore. And I can wait forever. I am too patient. I am a no. I am a yes. I am a tear that never happens. I am a smile that never leaves. I can't cry but the sky can. What did I want you to tell me? Everything. "Grandma, will you tell me a story?" "About a glory? There's nothing to it." i feel so blank. i'm not sad or depressed im just fraving a deep meaningful conversation with somone but no ones lissning to me. heeeeeeeeeeeeelllooo im still here..... hello? my life keeps running me over (stupid bitch). i hate my computer. i think its sick again. sigh. despite what the world thinks. i dont like runing my life like sore poor fool that doesnt know how to step off a tredmill. i need to write but i too am just another poet who lost her poems. im gunna go do something now. i will not wait. I'm not good, for no apparent reason. ~Becky~ hugs for you my goddess so i'm watching cinderalla right? the quintessential fairytale. and i believe, yes i believe. happy endings, impossible things, yeah. i believe in once upon a time. i just don't get why the hell i'm sitting here, and NOT AT THE? DAMN BALL?. my main point of aggravation tonight: sequels? of classic fairytales? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?. bad bad bad! I just want to fly. jafe. Hurt. (re conversation last night) 1-27-02 ....i liked it better when they weren't together My parents again. They don't want me to visit anyone, and they don't want anyone to visit me. Seeing Emma is 'just an excuse to be with Nick' and that would be 'using her'. What do I do? If I move out, my family would be estranged. My dad gives me speeches on how i never finish anything. My word. I need to hit something. I need to get out of here. I need to stop talking to campers, because when I do they make me want to just move out, and I listened to them last fall, and left for portland, which turned out rather badly. I need to decide on one thing to do. I am definitely going away to college this fall. There is no longer a home for me unless I do something serious. Oh god. Man ive missed being on wiki and IRC more. I pormise i will be on more in the future. Life right now is caught on the boyfriend-work-sleep cycle which although fun makes me miss you all. I miss chick energy. I miss camp energy. -Dawn My parents will not allow me to go to texas. If nick finds out he will curse and not understand them. I am sandwiched between three people who say they love me, and are all making me equally unhappy. If Qete weren't here, I'd be fodder. I got back from running and found the camp video in a package leaning against my door. I watched it and was reminded in a little very bright flash (walk out of a dark house and look straight up at the sun) how much I love everybody. It's funny how easy it is to forget that. I spend a lot of my time unconsciously selfishly in my own world of grammar, paint, details & procrastination and ordinary life, forgetting how fascinating the rest of the world is and all of you I swore to write. Anyway. I have some idea now. I'm listening to Dar Williams, and it's grey and threatening to rain outside. I'm going to go make Valentines and do my Spanish homework. -Rosie jafe thinketh. some guy emailed me, someone i met eight months ago, that i didn't even remember. hmm. could i be someone's obsession, someone's illusion that they put to bed every night? i've had too many to think i could be one of those. mainly because i'm not confident or sparkly enough. i think. and i don't want to be an imagining, a perfect person trapped in your brain! do i? oh, but i do. i want to fool you, make you suppose i am awesome, beautiful, together, everything. but i don't want to be trapped in your brain! talking to Tessa, she says she didn't make me dinner. I laugh and say that's okay, I'll be skinny but happy. and then I caught myself. Did you hear me? I said skinny but happy. but. but but but. Sometimes, a small victory is worth everything. looking at the prices for flying to berkeley. woe is me. i can afford it. and now the mild desperation has reached an alltime intensity. Must.Get.Out.Of.House.Now. i miss the one(s) i love. i hate the way my dad bangs the teapot down on the stove when he wants me to know that he's mad at me. he sulks. sulks worse than anyone i've ever met. it gives me an angry glint in my eye and i vow to always, always confront. i have no pureanger music. all angst. no energy. i was so happy yesterday that classes had started. that i was going to work, and go to school, and my life would settle down back to normal. but all i want to do is leave. go to mexico, go to australia. i want no obligations. i want to be able to walk in and out of someone's life like i walk through their front door. i'm angry. and i have no music to help me, and this makes me even angrier. and now my dad is sighing heavily and i know i am expected to grovel. well. fuck that. I am sick of being a sex object. The amazons cut off their left breasts for easier archery and they killed everyone. I woulda made a good amazon. Now I know why people want to look ugly. I want to shave my head, have multiple piercings, and wear weird makeup. I am tired of being pretty and sweet. This is not supposed to happen at church groups! I miss guys that don't stare/leer at my body. I miss not being followed around. I miss feeling like one of the guys. I miss not being womanly. I miss people I can trust. I want to learn to fight so I don't have to hide how unsafe I feel, because I don't think I act like a target. I want to not feel like one. This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right. This still isn't right. Kim. severe psychological issues surround my bed. and i refuse to go to bed without being on the phone with someone. wow. when did i get this codependent? who's registered for session 2? I AM, THANK? YOU. man! it's been a while since i got some play, if you know what i mean! -naomi, singing "sexual healing" sun has gone down. long ago. i don't live by the sun. my guitar sang today. without me. almost. i like this pattern of waking up and scribbling my dreams into a small blank book with a amrbled cover before i pull myself up off of my mattress. i like the pattern of sitting here after all my familie's in bed. -franny The contributor of half of my genetic makeup has just decided he hates my guts. Interesting feeling. -Katherine It's way to late at night, and I have stuff to do. Finish drivers ed. My mom wants me to apply to colleges just in case it works out for me to go. "Even if you do get in, you can always turn them down if you want to". I need to find a job, and I'm cursing myself for doing something that will probably make me fail a drug test. I need money, I am in so much debt right now. I've just realized exactly how cool AllSoRad pages are. I miss Kim. Nick H uhm, alone. for the first time since the 28th of december. count your fingers children, that's almost a month. and i don't know what to do. i can still feel jake's massage. forrest's food is to die for. and i have plans for friday. i work tomorrow and the day after school starts. but i'm hanging desperately onto tonight. the beach. bliss. hanging our heads out of the window. maybe if i just REFUSE? to continue with my life, i'll go back to a place where i always sleep curled up with someone and life is like poetry written on the sand. yeah. defiant. that's the way i'll be. i'll bare my teeth and growl at the world of schedules and classes and grades. take me with you please on your journeys. i don't want to be another character i want to be your cohort. i'll make you mix tapes and make sure you bring your toothbrush don't leave me here alone. i sit here at 1:00am and wonder where i'm going to be at this exact time next year, and what i'll be doing. i need people around me, i need love & friendships to ground me. i think i'll go update LJ now... http://www.livejournal.com/users/moonsparkles my present self is looking back at my past self with disgust & shame, while looking forward to my future self with apprehension & much stressful quiverings. my present self is trying to stop eating. my present self is wanting contact that no one will give to her, except her parents, with whom my present self is not feeling too happy with right now. (you gotta love parents' ability to make you feel like a complete & utter lazy bum with no brains no motivation & no consideration with one sentence. cuz you can't do shit about it.) kat i miss people. there i said it. i miss there smiles faces, laughter, there kind words, poetry, vegetarian food, music, snoring kisses, emails, hugs, snuggles, comments, love, car rides, random acts of weirdness, in jokes, pokes, rings, pasts, tears, tissues, eyes and there both hands i miss his smile, his kisses and the way he said i love you. i miss the smell of his hair, the shape of his hands, the curve of his face, the edge of his smiles, the smoothness of his love it makes me want to scream and play untuchable face so loud it would break my ears and shatter my soul and make him realize what he did. how could you? i miss her jewishness, undying love, tears and hugs i miss the way she pretends she can't write and the way she climbs trees in a dress. i miss her kisses on my cheek and the way she called out "i love you" i miss her smiles, jokes, laughter, spoons, dresses and those little things that made shippy shippy. i miss people saying they love me, i miss random hugs, kisses, poems, pins, buttons and irc conversations. i miss people updating my rad page and squeeze page. i miss having someone right there to just go up and kiss. i miss him still even though he hurt me more then i could ever hurt myself i miss her even if she left and will never come back and sleep in my bed i miss me because i'm growing up so fast i can hardly tell who i am or was or who i want to be. Realization of the day. i want a relationship where i don't have to kiss the person to feel connected to them. to let someone love you is to realize that some day they will probably hurt you without knowing it. when i say "i love you" i really mean "i love you, i'll let you grow and someday i'll let you go" remember that i love you I'm alive. I've been lurking in the shadows keeping up with wiki posts, and yet not posting anything myself. Deep thoughts, many musings, and idea's curling 'round my head. I have come to the simple conclusion that I MUST? travel, and meet you folks. Yep. She's finally decided that after almost a year, she really must meet you. SO her plan at the moment is thus, she is most certainly going to chicago for Kim's birthday party in may, and is hoping to take a mini trip down to cali, chicago, and portland before march... Fear not, she'll keep you posted on details. i cut my hair. short. shortshortshort and suddenly the weight is off my shoulders, i feel beautiful and i'm not restless anymore. funny how such a little thing can fix your whole perspective. Friday. dry clean hair is getting everywhere. How strange (pleasent, but strange) to have a male lover. How. Different. I dont work untill 3, which means i should clean and organize my life but will want to take a nap instead. -Dawn PS, Shippy is in Israel safe and sound! You guys, promise me you won't forget me just because I'm getting big and stuff, okay? I need you more than anything else. Promise!!! :) -Dawn Likewise. girl scout's honor. how could i forget you robyn? i love you too much i'm happy Franny Fiona has spent the last day being depressed. Wait. Come to think of it, she's still depressed. She misses everyone from CA a hell of a lot, but especially Ethan, and she wants her pictures back (hell, she wants Ethan back), and she's written about 10 pages in her journal since saying goodbye. She thinks that goodbyes suck. She thinks that the hardest part of saying goodbye is after you've said it and you're both just kind of standing there, and one of you has to turn away first, but neither one wants to be the first, and you turn away and look over your shoulder and the other person is walking away and not looking back. She thinks that maybe you shouldn't ever look back because it makes the tears come faster. She is kicking herself in the ass for writing such a (true) melodramatic piece of shit post on CheckIn. My internet connection has been down for two days. There's a broken wire in the cable, it'll take a few hours to fix, and I don't have the replacement cable, so I'm stuck without for now. I watched the store for a few hours yesterday a nice relax after scrambling around all morning trying to make the cable work, to no avail. I can't get any real work done while I have no 'net connection, so I'm waffling about what to do. I wrote for a few hours last night. Good stuff, and I'll probably post some of it in my journal when I don't have other things I need to do, and I have an internet connection that's not in my dad's cramped, messy office. I'm tired, and I just got up. Being me at the moment is emotionalyl exhausting. I love you all, I figure this is as good a place to post as any. Wiki is just too wild and twisted to make sence of. I used to post on unschooling.com a lot, but it's changed since last Summer. It's not fun and I don't have fun reading silly nonsence and then reading people's complaints about silly nonsense posts. Ok, I admit I used to complain too, but I don't see the point anymore. Who cares if someone posted something stupid on a web site, in a few weeks it'll be forgotten. There are more important things in life. I went to NBTSC 1st session, 2001. I miss it. It was my first time at camp and I was worried about being homesick for home. Ever since I left camp last Aug. I have been homesick for camp. And it's Jan. now. 6 more months and then I'll be at session 1 again 2002. I dislike Winter. The light grey sky and brown trees, the dirty snow on the street that's been there for months and probably won't melt until March. I'm not as happy in the Winter. I listen to more dark, heavy music, none of that lighter pop-ier stuff. I hate having to put on a coat and shoes to go outsde. So I was in a dark Winter mood a while ago. I still am, but it's getting lighter. I hate living in the town that I do. I like our house, I like my job, but I still hate living here. I know if I had some friends where I live I'd like it a lot more. I know a few people, I guess I can call them friends, but I miss having a conversation with someone who I feel understands me. I don't feel safe around my 'friends' here. Time, time, time. It takes time, maybe I'll feel safe in another year. When I know them better, when they know me better. It's not like I've lived here that long, 8 months or so. I don't blame myself for not having more friends faster. It's just how it is. I can't help but be myself. And that self is pretty unusual compared to normal society. I just wish I had a friend to talk to who would give me a hug cause I need one. I'm very glad this site exists. It just makes me feel happy reading what people here write. It's always just so real and from the heart, there is to much in this world that is fake. I am going to try to take my life a little less seriously today. Do some fun stuff just for me and not worry about having friends to do stuff with. farewell 'til I post again Robin Hi, This is my first "real" addition to a NBTSC Wiki page not via the newly provided message board boxes. I've never seeen any other site where this is possible and I think it is really cool that everyone trusts eachother to write and add on right among their own stuff, that nothing is completely predictable or static about it, but that it works none the less; and I love all the hilarious stuff like "unschoolers dictionary," to name one very small section. It's SOOO? stimulating to finally hear otehr usnchoolers talking, talking a LOT! (Yeah, Robin, the unschooling.com boards are cool but NOT like thisyou must be the one I was talking to about going to NBTSC over there??) My sister and I are really happy about the WV camp version, and the first time my sister ever saw this site she decided right then and there she was going to camp. Me, I'd seen it a lot before but not doven (is doven a word?? hee hee) completely into Wiki Wiki so I hadn't read and seen and heard about all the wonderful unschoolers around here yet. I didn't realise this was all here to this extent! Wah-hooooo! I'm addicted now! Anyway, I'm pretty much to old to go to camp myself now (by next summer) but I'm looking into the junior staff thing. I dislike winter too, really dislike it, fall into depression over it and the extreme lack of sunshine, but amazingly enough we have not really HAD? any winter yet this year where I live. No snow, except for 2 or 3 short-lived snowfalls, and "warm" and sunny temperatures, month after month. Wow. It's really really really nice...except for those people who are really missing snow. Well...I hope this addition of mine works out and doesn't delete anything else of anybody's.... Rachel H. in January 02 (the 26th, at midnight:10, to be exact [so of course it is actually the 27th, but i do NOT go by that practiceI haven't slept yet and it's not the new day for me]) Yup, I am the Robin you talked to on unschooling.com I think I like Wiki Wiki Web better. I got my copy of the 2001 camp video in the mail yesterday. I didn't have time to watch it until this morning and oh man, I miss camp!!!! There was a little clip in it of me talking about camp. I'd totally forgotten about it. I mean, I remembered getting interviewed and talking about unschooling, but not what I said about NBTSC. And the cool thing was that I wasn't embarassed watching myself. I thought I looked okay on camera, like if I didn't know that was myself on the screen I would think "hey, she seems like a cool person". NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 2 times, last edited on March 17, 2002 by princessraina@nbtsc.org. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
