Archives:
some others might be at...
"I am a pillow. Just not a mattress..." -franny "where's crazy, and can I go there? ...I have a bus pass." "You're not eating your hope very well!" "Me and Lindsey were out in the field grabbing each others breasts and screaming matt b's name!" -Rachael "I'd rather have a uterine wall than a rocket." "The ceiling is up, the floor is down. We will keep this in mind for further motion." Marina: "We're both really good at being honest instead of modest." Zack, in a very matter of fact tone: "yes we are." "I'm such a bad sister! I don't even show you my hot date!" -Mel, to Colleen "What's wrong with selling muffins to naked people? Naked people need muffins!" - classmate of Noam's "I need that, it tickles!" Andy, a friend of Colleen's "I got three, four, five, six, seven, four hours of sleep last night." "I think deep down, I'm really madly in love with him....only not." "I think that's true with Becky, but doesn't apply to everyone." --Qete "What, making love with sandwiches?!?" --Jess (we're sorry Becky, please don't kill us)
"Doesn't he think he's cute? I did have two of his babies. And it was my idea." "Casey, you wanna go do that thing with vaseline in the other room?" Fiona: You're cheating on me with Casey's ass?? Ethan: No, I'm putting honey on it. "oh, and dan? try to get some sleep, you sound stoned." -Victor "Sexy bras 50% off!" -a sign outside Lane Bryant "I didn't know hating someone involved groping, but okay." -Ben S. "What am I doing in her dress?" "What is it with me and fishnet thongs?" -Victor "If it wasn't for oxygen, the 80's wouldn't have even happened!" -Victor "You gotta come down here, I ain't coming up." -Victor "Tickling involves more than one finger moving rythemicly." "Go away, Mr. Nipple!!" -Casey (Fiona's brother) "I'm not criticizing your underwear." -Melissa (Fiona's mom), to Ethan "Sometimes you just gotta doodle." "Whenever I stare at girls chests they say "purple". That's how I knew you were going to say that. Not that I usually... I'm just going to sit here and stop talking now." That's the whole point, she's not going to head-butt the anti-christ! -Sabrina "I'm old enough now to understand what to do and how to do it, I just want to be payed." Colleen "You've had it forever! I wanna rub it!" -Casey (Fiona's little brother) "My mom likes it hard." "Get it wet and put it on my butt." "I do it with myself all the time!" "My end is better than any end you've ever have!" Someone at a company party "You wanna feel weird?? Try feeling two. . . things going on either side of your head!" A friend of Colleen's "Did stupid victor just state the obvius again?" - Victor "You can tell they're evil because they're not wearing pastels." "Cindy Crawford is scary, but not as scary as my bathroom." "Yeah. But have you ever seen a documentary on Hippo's with Tom Cruise in it?" -franny "That's an ass collision just waiting to happen." - Jauss at work "I don't even remember where I stuck the head." A co-worker of Colleen's "Excuse me while I sniff my shirt." "Definately Marina. Or Dan. Dan. Or Alyson." "Can I stop poking myself in the breast now?" "Surprising that a big guy like you could pull that off in a pink chiffon number..." -Charles (Fiona's dad) "Everybody put your fingers in the hot chocolate" (My mom) Who cares if Fluffy's fat! (my sister) -Jimmy "Hey, a girl beat me last night while I was naked." A friend of Colleen's "I love you as much as starbucks is evil..No, wait, I love you as much as walmart, mc donalds, and starbucks are evil!" "Louie B Mayer can smooch my posterior!" -jess's dad "You're in some far away desert, and you see a mirage on the horizon... Is it Betty Grable? Noooo. It's a coca cola bottle in the shape of a woman!" "Not by him and not in these pants!!" Colleen "Dude, I bet it's hard to shave a musk-ox!" "Your hair is the colour of Cheerios." Said sappily by Emerie about herself "Wow, look at that breast!!" Colleen's Grandma "Well you can't just jerk off right away. . ." Colleen "Don't blame me. Actually, blame me." -Kat "You always look at me like it's my fault!" "Kat how do you..." "I don't know, I've never done it before."
"Curiosity killed the Robyn & Marina." "But it didn't kill the Kat!"
"Bearded whales...think about that for a minute." "It makes me think of Mitchell."
"Oh my god, someone pushed playdoh through my face!" "you need some real food! like...er....ice cream!" "Um... your sexuality just fell off your head" -Emily H-C (one of Fiona's friends) "It's not that important to me, I just don't want to put on any pants." ~Zaria, sitting in bed with Emerie on her lap. "You talk like me, just not out loud." ~Corey "Do you want socks?!?! Go get me an eraser and I'll make you some socks!" ~Justin, a friend of Ted, Corey, Zaria and Emerie's. "Hey Emerie, I just married your boyfriend!" ~Zaria. "Ted, I'm leaving you for a female taxi driver." ~Emerie. "It was like flirting with a wall...." -Katherine H. "Damnit woman, let me clear your sinuses!" "Stroke it, stroke it!!" "it was kind of like one of those dates that you bring your chain saw, and she brings her oxen" ~Jeff (a freind of Ryland's) "there is this girl that I had a crush on in high school, who now lives in portland, so my band is going on tour through there" ~Jeff again "It'd take a few minutes and some lubricant, but I could do it." -Ben S. "I don't think the royals would jerk off into a cup for 20 bucks..." "You don't have anything I haven't seen before. Except for that penis... how long has that been there??" "Evan was a staffer... and if Evan can be a staffer, then Ted... will hopefully not light anyone on fire..." Marina: "But then there would be bodies all over." Jessica: "I don't consider that littering..." "Please have a little more respect for our cheese" "We would prefer if all females would indicate verbally or in writing at any time that they have the desire to mate with us." -Adam D. "Most chocolate chip cookies aren't worth the money they're printed on!" "So, if you were a cartoon charecter, I think you'd be a worm. It's a compliment, I like worms! See, you're skinny and your face is all . . . wormy" "Oh my god! It's a cow strip dancer!" -Casey "...wait. She's licking herself in the trash??" Various quotes from Colleen's co-workers. "She doesn't like it, she just tried it to see if it works." "Ooo, I like it when it gets all big like that." "Does that say, caught in the wrong pants?" "I walk aroung looking for the lowest, then I dump 'em." "Marjorie, cereal is what's poisoning America and causing the rise in mental disorders." "Don't let me forget my stranger." "...because Darth Vader and the Emperor should definitely not ever make out" "Mostly I'm scared of that girl with the elastic." Colleen "Colleen, you'd better start sucking, NOW!" Jennalee "Don't go into any dark corners! Except with a friend." "just give it a smoth jurk... ok, think of and pull it, see! it worked!!!" Chris Black 'Bellybuttons are tough!' "Join the Clean Side, fleshwad!" -Rachael W-D "Would you like to pick my flesh?" -Rachael W-D "Can I have the rest of your breast?" -Casey (FionA 's brother) "Folk rocks! Well, maybe it doesn't. But it folks!" - Naela (quoting herself) My girlfriend ass raped me with a sword!~Zachd "Chocolate cheesecake is the embodiment of the present moment" "I have homing lips!" "Wait a second, the moon's not supposed to be flourescent." "There is nothing in the world quite as relaxing as taking off a corset" Zaria "You never appreciate slouching till you can't do it anymore"Zaria "Frankly, I wouldn't put anything with a clam shell bikini in my mouth." Tessa: So you're gonna tie Philly up? Poor Philly. Robyn: Oh, don't worry, she likes it. Mel: That's my boob, Mom Mel's Mom: I thought it was awfully big for a chocolate chip "I don't even have a stereo condom!" "Look, I'll have Potatos on Wensday, and I'll keep haveing them untill I leave home again... on... Thursday" ~Josh "I can see up your nose. How's that for romantic?" "It's my intense gravitational pull, I attract balls." Colleen Colleen's Dad: "Your check's in the mail." Colleen: "Which male?" "He has a flaming dick?!" Alex, Colleen's friend "Any longer and just don't put it in there." Colleen's Dad "Are you suggesting that I should start selling potatoes on the black market?" "Is there a market for hallucinogenic potatoes?" "If I ever hear the words 'trembling tentacles' again..." "You may not have a mind, but you sure do have great hair." "So if you have problems sleeping next to a half naked girl, deal with it."- Heather "See, but carbon's too far away and it can't get into Happyland..." "Why would you shoot heroin in the freezer?" "That's it. I'm moving to england, getting some cows and naming myself Tess" "What if the Holy Ghost is anorexic?" "I respect your bathtub." "They put my Dad on a stamp! now I was not suprised to see his pitcure in the post office, but I didn't think it would be worth 32 cents!" ~Arlo Gutherie "Of course, if that were my face, my breasts hanging upside down would be the least of my problems." "She's got a point. I don't want to hear about her pubic hair development either." -Casey (FionA 's brother) "hey jess, how did we get into this position?" (hey yo, i dont think i put these up. but if you saw them already, just kick me or something. I think these are from vic's house right after marina's. -jess) "xena, warrior porn star!" "I might do it again, possibly with victor around." "please do not do any sexual activities with my spread sheet." -alex (vic's brother) to rael "you know, usually it's you and victor who do this, not me and you." "Help jessica with that tape, or she's going to have a personality disfunciton." "gimme tampon!" "Did I miss the part about orgasmic avocados??" "I'm going to worship canned beans." tom (jess's dad) "the god of flatulence?" -gordon (vic's dad) "well, after we sacrifice the goat..." "...then the minister grabs the vodka, and we all have an orgy." --gordon and alex "cross dressing apple juice!" "X-rated ladybug porn!" Becky: I'm going to get undressed. Kathleen: Oooo, aahhhhh, oooh, aOOOOga!
Becky: I'll get you a male stripper for your birthday! Kathleen: I don't want a male stripper. Becky: A female stripper then? Kathleen: No Becky: Oh! You want a hermaphrodite stripper! Kathleen: Exactly! "You can't turn yourself on!" -Becky, to Kathleen "I wonder if guys who get a sex change operation have it taken out..." ~Emerie Casey: Those hot dogs aren't pristine! They're BROWN! Fiona: Yeah, but there's no mold on them. "He thought I was looking at porno, but I wasn't! I was researching my career!" Fiona: "So I'm in your pants, huh?" Mel: "Don't worry... you've got lots of company there" "Note to self: sleep with Ethan" -Victor "She'll even attack things that don't move, if they're shiny. Like Ryland!" "Fiona the head mole!" "I need new bras. Everyone's seen my bras." "Are you molesting Fiona now?" "Yeah... with my calf muscle" -Kathleen and Becky "Fine, then your piano and I will just go elope" "...and that was Becky with the story of the penis lightbulb." "We'll judge your nipples - not you." "I don't meen this to sound kinky, but can you take my shirt off?" "The time I'm coming is in his pants??" "No, it's a dog, and if it's a penis, then it's penis with ears!" Colleen "Poo, poo, poo, poo, poo. .. Hey, does that make him a butthead?" Alicia, a friend of Colleen's "Milk is not meant for snorting." Jayne, a friend of Colleen's "I wasn't teasing you, I was pointing at you and laughing." "If i washed my hair twice a day it would probably kill me. Or start to look like Victors." "I have to call Fiona and figure out if I'm being kidnapped. And seduced with chapstick." -Franny "It'd be hard to eat someone you're in love with... Ethanloaf!!" "Ethan in a thong... Ethan in a thong... Ethan in a thong" "HEY! why did you kick me?" "you had your pencile in my butt!" "SO?" "Even Thoe My butt's plastic it dosent matter im not like that!"
"You should come here, so we can eat corn chips and make out" "I'd have to untie my stomach first!"
"yea, she looks really funny, especially because her mustache is in her mouth." "Lotus, why are you grabbing your ass?" "Cuz it's /really/ hot." --Lotus & Kat "And it doesn't look funny to have a cancerous growth on one butt?" "Does the pope shit in the woods?"
(good heavens, what you people must think of my family...) "I am not limp!" "Hey, that would work out wonderfully! Well, only if there're queens on top of kings." Colleen "Don't turn me on yet." A pool playing friend of Colleen's. "so moms make vomit fly?" "I'm using you for an umbrella stand, and you're using me as a pole dancer!" "im going up sairs now before my poor virgin ears become
prostates" "There were these huge mountains, they were like 10 feet tall!
"Patrick, play 'Like A Virgin'" -Kate "I always play like a virgin!" -Patrick. "My inner walrus wants to be an elephant?" "Your precious is going to go down my underwear if you're not caerful!" "No, my virginity does bounce" "The Universe must have had a lasagne moment." "My priorities: my hair and my boobs." "I don't have a crush on jessica's boobs!" "Eh, my internal clock is on crack" -Ben "too bad my hands are like this, I can't masturbate for at least 5 minutes!" -Kyle Noam: "You don't really need 512MB of RAM though." Noam's dad: "Well, what about ...etc... Oh, right, you don't like this RAM because it's too noisy." Noam's mom: "Baaaaa! Baaaa!" "Someone invented Jeopardy?!" jess "What, did you think it sprang full grown from the forehead of Zeus?" jess's dad "I am getting so sick of taking off my clothes..." It may shake and vibrate in all the right places, but can It do the funky chicken dance and vacum the floor?~ZachD "I told some guy I was a Taurus once, and he said 'bull'" "Dude, Ethan and I are not electron physics." "Your hair, or sex?" "That's like killing your friendly neighborhood Elvis impersonator and assuming that means Elvis is dead." NO I DON"T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU IN THE AIR PLAIN BATHROOM!!! -Lindsey G [1] In response to this, Adam D said "But then at least you could shave the whales!" NBTSWikiWiki | Recent Changes Edited 1045 times, last edited on April 6, 2002 by 63.175.56.66. © 2000 NBTSC Webmasters |
, quoting some friends from work
